Hi
my sister and I care for our 88 yr old mum , who lives in sheltered housing but now needs more care than we can give her to keep her safe. We got a social worker and she has been under the memory clinic for about 4 yrs, and both agreed it would be safer for her to be in a care home. My sister and I visited a few in the area a few months ago, and chose the one we felt we would be most comfortable in if it was one of us that needed care. There were no vacant rooms, and we were not in a great hurry so we put mums name on the list and said we would wait till a room was available.
She has now deteriorated some, and the social worker told us we needed to look at other places rather than hang on for just that one.
We visited 2 more last week and got a good feel for one of them, the residents looked cared for, happy and were chatting over lunch when we arrived unanounced and asked to be shown round. I had checked the cqc report on it and it had overall required improvement in most areas in january this year. It has been visited by cqc again in June this year, and their latest report from a visit in october, said every lssue raised had been attended to and actions put into place but they could not yet change the rating until the home showed that the changes made were consistent for a longer period.
The home phoned us up yesterday to say they had a room for mum if we want it. When we had a family meeting it came to light that this particular home had been the subject of a newspaper report on failings in care homes, in January this year and a case of neglect had been raised against them by the son of a resident, whos mother has since passed away.The council stopped any new state funded admissions to this home until improvements were made. This must have now been amended as mum is state funded.
I,m now in turmoil about what to do as my gut instinct, and my sisters, before we found this out was that mum would be looked after and would be happy there once she settled in, the staff seemed lovely,had activities every day, the food looked and smelt great, the residents were happy and it was clean and being refurbished in the next 2 months, but other family members( who do not help at all with mums care) are saying we should just wait for the other place.
Her mobility has really deteriorated, she gets confused with her meds, wouldnt think to eat if we didnt go and make her something, and forgets we have taken her out (at least 4 days a week) 10 minutes after we bring her home. I worry that if she falls after teatime she could be there all night because she wont wear the bracelet alert and even if she did she forgets what its for and wouldnt think to press it.
Its really getting my sister down and making her ill, shes not sleeping well, worried about mum and doesnt know what to do. I wish someone could just come and make these heartbreaking decisions for us and make it all ok, but i know thats not reality, and no one can really help
. Sorry for the long post but I know the people on this forum will understand xx What an awful Journey we are all on xx
my sister and I care for our 88 yr old mum , who lives in sheltered housing but now needs more care than we can give her to keep her safe. We got a social worker and she has been under the memory clinic for about 4 yrs, and both agreed it would be safer for her to be in a care home. My sister and I visited a few in the area a few months ago, and chose the one we felt we would be most comfortable in if it was one of us that needed care. There were no vacant rooms, and we were not in a great hurry so we put mums name on the list and said we would wait till a room was available.
She has now deteriorated some, and the social worker told us we needed to look at other places rather than hang on for just that one.
We visited 2 more last week and got a good feel for one of them, the residents looked cared for, happy and were chatting over lunch when we arrived unanounced and asked to be shown round. I had checked the cqc report on it and it had overall required improvement in most areas in january this year. It has been visited by cqc again in June this year, and their latest report from a visit in october, said every lssue raised had been attended to and actions put into place but they could not yet change the rating until the home showed that the changes made were consistent for a longer period.
The home phoned us up yesterday to say they had a room for mum if we want it. When we had a family meeting it came to light that this particular home had been the subject of a newspaper report on failings in care homes, in January this year and a case of neglect had been raised against them by the son of a resident, whos mother has since passed away.The council stopped any new state funded admissions to this home until improvements were made. This must have now been amended as mum is state funded.
I,m now in turmoil about what to do as my gut instinct, and my sisters, before we found this out was that mum would be looked after and would be happy there once she settled in, the staff seemed lovely,had activities every day, the food looked and smelt great, the residents were happy and it was clean and being refurbished in the next 2 months, but other family members( who do not help at all with mums care) are saying we should just wait for the other place.
Her mobility has really deteriorated, she gets confused with her meds, wouldnt think to eat if we didnt go and make her something, and forgets we have taken her out (at least 4 days a week) 10 minutes after we bring her home. I worry that if she falls after teatime she could be there all night because she wont wear the bracelet alert and even if she did she forgets what its for and wouldnt think to press it.
Its really getting my sister down and making her ill, shes not sleeping well, worried about mum and doesnt know what to do. I wish someone could just come and make these heartbreaking decisions for us and make it all ok, but i know thats not reality, and no one can really help
. Sorry for the long post but I know the people on this forum will understand xx What an awful Journey we are all on xx