My dad has dementia but the type has not been confirmed yet. His behaviour is infuriating and disturbing. I have been up most of last night trying to explain to him he was in his own house and he had no recollection that his mum was dead. My dad is 70 and my mum is his carer, I don't live at home so its constant calls and its really getting to me and my mum. Can anyone give me advice? It would be much appreciated!
I'm a new member desperately seeking advice!
- Thread starter Snedds
- Start date
Socel worker
you need a socel worker.sorry about the spling im dislix.my wife has lewy body dementia. And have a socel worker which helps a lot. Will give you good advice.
you need a socel worker.sorry about the spling im dislix.my wife has lewy body dementia. And have a socel worker which helps a lot. Will give you good advice.
hi there and welcome
Does your mum have any help at all with your dad?
She can ask for a carers assessment from social services (this will give her a few hours to herself when they put in a 'sitter' to be with your dad) and an assessment for your Dad for things like a day centre, carers or whatever they/you/your mum thinks will help the situation. Phone the duty desk at your council adult care services and ask for an assessment.
Is she getting attendance allowance for him - needs to apply for the higher rate is she is caring day and night? It is non means tested.
Good idea to phone the local carers organisation and ask for help - they will probs send someone round who will be much more helpful that social services and help her with all sorts of local information and also with form filling - google your area with carers organisation. There is probably a lot going on that you don't know about yet and there is a lot of help out there.
Lastly but not least PLEASE have a look at this
http://www.alz.org/greaterdallas/documents/CompassionateComm.pdf
it is no good reasoning with your Dad - it won't help and it will make everyone frustrated and he is probably talking about his parents because he is afraid, losing your memory is a VERY scary place to be and that sometimes triggers people to talk about their childhood and a safe place to be.
Good luck, lots of help and support on here never be afraid to ask ANYTHING! take care and keep posting xx
Does your mum have any help at all with your dad?
She can ask for a carers assessment from social services (this will give her a few hours to herself when they put in a 'sitter' to be with your dad) and an assessment for your Dad for things like a day centre, carers or whatever they/you/your mum thinks will help the situation. Phone the duty desk at your council adult care services and ask for an assessment.
Is she getting attendance allowance for him - needs to apply for the higher rate is she is caring day and night? It is non means tested.
Good idea to phone the local carers organisation and ask for help - they will probs send someone round who will be much more helpful that social services and help her with all sorts of local information and also with form filling - google your area with carers organisation. There is probably a lot going on that you don't know about yet and there is a lot of help out there.
Lastly but not least PLEASE have a look at this
http://www.alz.org/greaterdallas/documents/CompassionateComm.pdf
it is no good reasoning with your Dad - it won't help and it will make everyone frustrated and he is probably talking about his parents because he is afraid, losing your memory is a VERY scary place to be and that sometimes triggers people to talk about their childhood and a safe place to be.
Good luck, lots of help and support on here never be afraid to ask ANYTHING! take care and keep posting xx
Thank you
We are waiting on social work contacting us, I guess I shall have to approach them if they don't get in touch soon! Thank you so much for your advice, much appreciated.
We are waiting on social work contacting us, I guess I shall have to approach them if they don't get in touch soon! Thank you so much for your advice, much appreciated.
It's possible he has an infection of some sort, that usually makes the condition much worse. The most common is a UTI but any type infection can cause it, even dental infections. Get the doctors to do a blood and urine test to see if that's the cause.
K
K
Hello Snedds, firstly a warm welcome here to Talking Point, so sorry you are all having a bad time at the moment, sadly dementia can upset our lives and it's hard at first to adjust, however there is always the physical health of our loved ones which they find hard to explain, a big problem that can cause this behaviour can be constant urine infections so could your mum get dad to the doctor? or arrange for a home visit to rule this out? failing that a telephone consultation with the doctor?the constant phone calls indeed will wear you out so if possible(and it does not cause too many problems with your mum) could you leave your answer machine on for a while? mum will need an aseessment by social services and they should be able to provide some much needed practical help for both mum and dad.
I do hope you manage to rest tonight.
Take care and keep posting.
Chris
I do hope you manage to rest tonight.
Take care and keep posting.
Chris
Thank you
Thank you so much for your advice. We are currently waiting on social work to contact us regarding assessment but I shall have to get in touch myself. My mum can't get carers allowance as she's 68 and no longer qualifies. I shall keep in touch and a huge big thanks to you. This has helped me a great deal xx
Thank you so much for your advice. We are currently waiting on social work to contact us regarding assessment but I shall have to get in touch myself. My mum can't get carers allowance as she's 68 and no longer qualifies. I shall keep in touch and a huge big thanks to you. This has helped me a great deal xx
Good idea
Thank you for the advice. We are in limbo at the moment with social work referal just waiting not so patiently for them to contact us. I will pass this info onto my mum who I know will be extremely grateful for everyone's help. I will post again as soon as I have an update. Thanks again.
Thank you for the advice. We are in limbo at the moment with social work referal just waiting not so patiently for them to contact us. I will pass this info onto my mum who I know will be extremely grateful for everyone's help. I will post again as soon as I have an update. Thanks again.
Thank you
Thanks for that, I shall look into that for her. I also had a look at the link you sent me, I found that very helpful and I also don't feel so alone anymore. Thanks again, chat soon! Xx
Thanks for that, I shall look into that for her. I also had a look at the link you sent me, I found that very helpful and I also don't feel so alone anymore. Thanks again, chat soon! Xx
I'm unable to respond to your pm as I don't have enough posts yet? I shall keep in touch and would very much appreciate your help xx
Please dont wait for SS to contact you - keep ringing and nagging till you get their attention.
Its very easy to go to the bottom of the in tray if you sit quietly. Tell them all the things that are happening, and that your mum cant cope
SS are busy,so the quiet ones get overlooked .
Its very easy to go to the bottom of the in tray if you sit quietly. Tell them all the things that are happening, and that your mum cant cope
SS are busy,so the quiet ones get overlooked .
