This is completely right - and I think it's one that social services forget - we don't have to care - they can't make us care. I think we are our own worse enemies sometimes, I adored my Mum, but after living with AD for 6 years I feel I've done my bit. I feel Social Services now need to step in. I've got a Social Worker and I have a carer that comes in to give Mum breakfast and lunch 4 days a week whilst I'm in work and I'm grateful - but it's about everything else - the toilet full of poo and pee, the wandering at night and during the day, the sundowning every day, the screaming, the abuse.
It's only when it stops that you realise how bad things were.I went through 12 months of sister terminally ill,Mum in and out of hospital,Dad in and out of hospital,never at the same time so visiting at times 2 people in different hospitals,cooking cleaning,laundry,shopping for the one at home plus when it was my Dad staying overnight as he couldn't be left.Drs at hospital recommended 24 hour care for him,SW dismissed this,said there was no funding,discharged home,fell broke hip,never walked again.He is now in a NH.Mum and my sister have died.I would never,ever do it again.I loved my parents dearly but the experience nearly killed me.