... I have already lost my dad to dementia, have my mum with severe mental health issues (depression and anxiety) and now mum in law is really starting to struggle with her memory.
She moved into sheltered housing some time ago now but the sale of the family home has just gone through. She has got herself in the most almighty mess with utilities (cancelling supplies for the wrong house etc) despite my husband going to help her as often as he can. We live 50 miles away, but there are 3 other siblings nearby - sibling one (daughter) no longer speaks to mum - they have always grated on each other but now can't seem to even be in the same room without war breaking out. Sibling 2 (brother) works away a lot and sibling 3 (brother) has behavioural problems and MIL wont 'let' him help because 'he does everything wrong', So she phones my husband (who suffers from depression himself) and talks for ages going over the same things. I'm also worried about the impact it is having on him!
Having been through dementia with my dad I think it's time for them to have the 'talk' and to acknowledge that she has problems, and make plans accordingly BUT they either don't want to, won't discuss it or don't want to go behind her back.
I know how hard it is to accept that a parent has problems and I have always been the kind of person to face things head on - and they (generally, as a family) would prefer to avoid the issues ... but central to all this is her wellbeing and safety.
I dont want to take it on - my mum is enough for one person to cope with - but wondered if I could start the ball rolling (but being aware that I might end up carrying said ball) and I was wondering if anyone had any bright ideas about who I might speak to / write to (her GP?) about getting her some kind of assessment.
She moved into sheltered housing some time ago now but the sale of the family home has just gone through. She has got herself in the most almighty mess with utilities (cancelling supplies for the wrong house etc) despite my husband going to help her as often as he can. We live 50 miles away, but there are 3 other siblings nearby - sibling one (daughter) no longer speaks to mum - they have always grated on each other but now can't seem to even be in the same room without war breaking out. Sibling 2 (brother) works away a lot and sibling 3 (brother) has behavioural problems and MIL wont 'let' him help because 'he does everything wrong', So she phones my husband (who suffers from depression himself) and talks for ages going over the same things. I'm also worried about the impact it is having on him!
Having been through dementia with my dad I think it's time for them to have the 'talk' and to acknowledge that she has problems, and make plans accordingly BUT they either don't want to, won't discuss it or don't want to go behind her back.
I know how hard it is to accept that a parent has problems and I have always been the kind of person to face things head on - and they (generally, as a family) would prefer to avoid the issues ... but central to all this is her wellbeing and safety.
I dont want to take it on - my mum is enough for one person to cope with - but wondered if I could start the ball rolling (but being aware that I might end up carrying said ball) and I was wondering if anyone had any bright ideas about who I might speak to / write to (her GP?) about getting her some kind of assessment.