I often read about the resilience of children. And while I do agree with this to an extent, I worry that it causes us to deminish the impact dementia has on children.
Our oldest (10) is very empathic and a worrier and so feels all his daddy's suffering (55 with Alzheimers). It also takes him a long time to fully share his concerns. So I was very glad a little while back when he asked me the following questions:-
a. How are we going to pay all the bills, and what would happen to them (our youngest is 7) if I have to go back to work full-time - he clearly hears more than I think he does!
b. Will Daddy go into a home
c. How much worse is Daddy going to get – Horrid one to answer as I try to block that out
d. Will Daddy die
e. What will happen to them if I die
f. Would he get it – Told him it was unlikely and that a cure will hopefully be found within the next 40 years. (This is one of C’s biggest fears, and he often alludes to having a problem with his brain that causes him to forget things, which is very distressing for both of us).
I think what I am trying to say, in a very roundabout way, is that we should never assume that children will simply adapt.
Our oldest (10) is very empathic and a worrier and so feels all his daddy's suffering (55 with Alzheimers). It also takes him a long time to fully share his concerns. So I was very glad a little while back when he asked me the following questions:-
a. How are we going to pay all the bills, and what would happen to them (our youngest is 7) if I have to go back to work full-time - he clearly hears more than I think he does!
b. Will Daddy go into a home
c. How much worse is Daddy going to get – Horrid one to answer as I try to block that out
d. Will Daddy die
e. What will happen to them if I die
f. Would he get it – Told him it was unlikely and that a cure will hopefully be found within the next 40 years. (This is one of C’s biggest fears, and he often alludes to having a problem with his brain that causes him to forget things, which is very distressing for both of us).
I think what I am trying to say, in a very roundabout way, is that we should never assume that children will simply adapt.