Time for Carers?

[Tinyj]

Hi

My Mum was diagnosed with alzheimers two years ago and it seems to becoming more progressive. My father had a stroke and has difficulty speaking so cannot remind her to do things. Over the last few months her personal hygiene has been neglected and I have tried cleaning the house without her knowing as she gets aggressive if I try to do this in her presence. I am now at the stage that I feel she needs some sort of care at home to assist with cleaning and her personal care. Really not sure where I go to start the ball rolling on this - is it Social Services for an assessment. Any help from those who have already gone through this stage would be welcome. I have tried approaching the subject with her but I end up being given abuse which I know she doesn't mean but sometimes it is difficult to suck up and forget.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

 

[henfenywfach]

Hi

My Mum was diagnosed with alzheimers two years ago and it seems to becoming more progressive. My father had a stroke and has difficulty speaking so cannot remind her to do things. Over the last few months her personal hygiene has been neglected and I have tried cleaning the house without her knowing as she gets aggressive if I try to do this in her presence. I am now at the stage that I feel she needs some sort of care at home to assist with cleaning and her personal care. Really not sure where I go to start the ball rolling on this - is it Social Services for an assessment. Any help from those who have already gone through this stage would be welcome. I have tried approaching the subject with her but I end up being given abuse which I know she doesn't mean but sometimes it is difficult to suck up and forget.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

Hi!
Your right!..contact social services and they can do an assessment. For your mum dad and for yourself as a carer. We had good support from our local alzheimers society officer and I'm sure they'd suggest maybe your local stroke association might be helpful for your dad.

I'm my dad's carer and it's important to encourage help to be accepted as you also have to think about... your heaIth would think about what help you think would be ideal..and tell social services what you need rather than what they think you need.
Best wishes

 

[fizzie]

I agree - it really does sound as though you need some help.
If your Mum has a continence problem then you can ask your GP to refer you to the local continence service- the general routine seems to be that they ask you to keep a diary of when you (she) wees - so it is almost worth starting that any time to speed up the process and they will also ask for a urine sample. The big plus of this is that they then provide decent pads which made all the difference in the world to my Mum (and she was so surprised at how well she got on with them!). You can do that without going through social services.
Are you getting Attendance Allowance? It is non means tested and helps enormously.
A carers assessment would be a great idea as you need a break and probably so does your dad.
Introducing help is always difficult but you may be able to try to get her to suggest it (to give her a bit more free time!!)
good luck, thinking of you