paying a lodger to care for a few hours a day

[snowfrogo]

hi all
My mum is 77 with mixed dementia diagnosed 2 years ago. She has done well with Aricept, but increasingly has some bad phases during the day. I go to see her at the weekend as I am some distance away in london, but for about a year I have also arranged for a lodger to live in a small granny flat on the side of the house rent-free, in exchange for looking in and checking up a couple of times a day.
My mum now needs more than looking in on. The lodger as it happens is also a carer who does p/t shift work. I am considering asking her to take on paid support for my mum, 3 or 4 hours a day, chatting, reassuring her that she still has some money (all consuming baseless worry) cooking, a bit of cleaning. my mum needs personal care but will not accept it at this stage, although some soiled pants will probably need collecting and washing.
On the basis of asking her to do this for 20 hours p/w, with free accommodation and not being asked to do night duty or anything (ie not a live-in carer really) would £200 p/w net be reasonable or insulting? It is about what I pay my nanny to look after 2 year old and pick up 2 others from school, but is this a different ballgame to childcare? Don't want to be mean - just to do the right thing, so any thoughts so very appreciated - thanks in advance

 

[Canadian Joanne]

My personal opinion is that the lodger has a very good deal so far. I don't think that £200 is insulting. I think you would need to lay out exactly what you want/ need done. It's always best when things are perfectly clear. Do you want these hours Monday to Friday or 7 days a week? I'm assuming Monday to Friday, 4 hours a day. Now, 4 hours might be a bit much, but you can start there and negotiate with the lodger. Once everything is agreed upon, I would have it put in writing and you both have copies. You can discuss doing it for a trial period of perhaps 2 to 3 months, at which time the plan may need a little tweaking or the lodger or you decide it's not the right plan.

Eventually the time may need to be increased but that's something to think about much later.

 

[stanleypj]

My personal opinion is that the lodger has a very good deal so far. I don't think that £200 is insulting. I think you would need to lay out exactly what you want/ need done. It's always best when things are perfectly clear. Do you want these hours Monday to Friday or 7 days a week? I'm assuming Monday to Friday, 4 hours a day. Now, 4 hours might be a bit much, but you can start there and negotiate with the lodger. Once everything is agreed upon, I would have it put in writing and you both have copies. You can discuss doing it for a trial period of perhaps 2 to 3 months, at which time the plan may need a little tweaking or the lodger or you decide it's not the right plan.

Eventually the time may need to be increased but that's something to think about much later.

£10 an hour is more than she would get if she works for an agency. It does sound like a very good deal, particularly as she's getting free accommodation. So are the current looking in and checking up pop-ins disappearing? An even better deal if so.

 

[Sue J]

Financially yes it would be a 'good deal' for the lodger. However, 3-4 hours a day may feel like too much for the lodger and she may feel she has no time of her own and feel more responsible for your Mother's increasing needs especially as she is only next door. Your Mum is likely to become very emotionally dependent on her which is a hard ask for someone however much they are getting paid. Presumably she works with other carers and maybe it would be better to get a small team together, which the lodger could help with i.e. knowing who would perhaps be better with your Mum and the load could be shared. What if the lodger became ill she would feel terrible if there was no one else at hand to step in. I would tread carefully and consider not just the present but the longer term too. By all means keep her on board but I think it is asking too much personally but only my view.

Best wishes
Sue

 

[snowfrogo]

ok thanks very much for these comments, glad it's not unreasonable but you are right the expectations on both sides need to be clearly laid out.