Hi
It's been a while since I've posted, but really nothing has changed, and things are gradually getting worse for me.
My mother's dementia is deteriorating & and to be honest no gives a damn but me, I'm the only thing she's got, and I don't want to be mean but it's slowly killing me.
My son, was finally diagnosed in July after an eight year battle, with Tourettes & High Fuctioning Autism, he is 11 in October, I have a 13.5 daughter who has an attitude the size of Texas, and a husband who works 60 hours a week and who I rarely see awake as when he's not working he's in bed asleep.
I woke up today after an 16 non stop hour sleep, to say I'm exhausted is an understatement. I'm so fed up I want my life back.
Last Tuesday 1st Sept, I got a phone call at 11.20pm at night, my husband gave me the phone, and the voice on the other end said sorry for alarming you, but it's Dorset police here and we have your mother! So in half an hour I was at my mother's flat, I had to take a taxi as my husband had only been in from work at 10.30pm, and in the morning it was first day back to school for my boy, so talk about bad timing...
The police told me that she'd been missing for 4 hours, as one of her neighbours noticed her door open around 7pm, and there was no one in the flat, but she had no numbers and wardens weren't there, so didn't know what to do, anyway she was found outside a local pub in a very confused state, telling men that approached her to ask if she was alright "hiss off, I'm not into men, and you can't have me down there" YES REALLY... The land lady recognised my mother and took her in, gave her a sandwich and cuppa and called the police. Thank god!
The police called the social services out of hours service, and they told them that my mother was under there control and there was no next of kin or family, and her SW was on holiday 2 weeks, and there was no one to help, the police said i think there may be a daughter or sister we think, and the SS replied no I don't think so, so they were no help at all, in the end the police got hold of me because my mum had a life line bracelet on, and they phoned lifeline and it was them that gave my phone number to the police.
To be honest, what use are the SS, absolute ****, for a slight frail nearly 83 year old to be out on the streets at 10 & 11pm at night, it's disgusting, this shouldn't be happening should it, and the reply you get when you ask for help and support is non-existent, at the end of the day, I'm on my own here, and I just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm not being funny, but she should be in a home, but SS say that it has to be the last resort before they put them in a home, and they like them being in there own flat and living independently! That's all well and good if you've got all your faculties, but my mum doesn't, and all she does all day is sit in a chair, and ask the same old questions on a loop, she calls me her sister, and she doesn't really know what's going on, a lot of the time, she looks right through you, but SS won't have it, even though I have POA, it counts for nothing, it really doesn't because I feel I have no rights left at all, every little decision you make, you have to run through the social worker first, it's not right is it.
I'm not in a position to put her into a private home, if I was, I wouldn't be writing this! I have been thinking about re-mortgaging the house, but we'd like to move eventually so that's not an option.
I HATE dementia, it's selfish and self centered and it has no feelings at all, and it robs a person of their mind, body and soul, but not just the person who has it but for the family and people around that are dealing with it as well, I feel useless, I have no fight in me left, if I did I'd come down hard on social services, but that's only a dream at the moment I'm afraid to say.
Thanks for listening to my rant
Love hugs
Vonnie xxx
It's been a while since I've posted, but really nothing has changed, and things are gradually getting worse for me.
My mother's dementia is deteriorating & and to be honest no gives a damn but me, I'm the only thing she's got, and I don't want to be mean but it's slowly killing me.
My son, was finally diagnosed in July after an eight year battle, with Tourettes & High Fuctioning Autism, he is 11 in October, I have a 13.5 daughter who has an attitude the size of Texas, and a husband who works 60 hours a week and who I rarely see awake as when he's not working he's in bed asleep.
I woke up today after an 16 non stop hour sleep, to say I'm exhausted is an understatement. I'm so fed up I want my life back.
Last Tuesday 1st Sept, I got a phone call at 11.20pm at night, my husband gave me the phone, and the voice on the other end said sorry for alarming you, but it's Dorset police here and we have your mother! So in half an hour I was at my mother's flat, I had to take a taxi as my husband had only been in from work at 10.30pm, and in the morning it was first day back to school for my boy, so talk about bad timing...
The police told me that she'd been missing for 4 hours, as one of her neighbours noticed her door open around 7pm, and there was no one in the flat, but she had no numbers and wardens weren't there, so didn't know what to do, anyway she was found outside a local pub in a very confused state, telling men that approached her to ask if she was alright "hiss off, I'm not into men, and you can't have me down there" YES REALLY... The land lady recognised my mother and took her in, gave her a sandwich and cuppa and called the police. Thank god!
The police called the social services out of hours service, and they told them that my mother was under there control and there was no next of kin or family, and her SW was on holiday 2 weeks, and there was no one to help, the police said i think there may be a daughter or sister we think, and the SS replied no I don't think so, so they were no help at all, in the end the police got hold of me because my mum had a life line bracelet on, and they phoned lifeline and it was them that gave my phone number to the police.
To be honest, what use are the SS, absolute ****, for a slight frail nearly 83 year old to be out on the streets at 10 & 11pm at night, it's disgusting, this shouldn't be happening should it, and the reply you get when you ask for help and support is non-existent, at the end of the day, I'm on my own here, and I just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm not being funny, but she should be in a home, but SS say that it has to be the last resort before they put them in a home, and they like them being in there own flat and living independently! That's all well and good if you've got all your faculties, but my mum doesn't, and all she does all day is sit in a chair, and ask the same old questions on a loop, she calls me her sister, and she doesn't really know what's going on, a lot of the time, she looks right through you, but SS won't have it, even though I have POA, it counts for nothing, it really doesn't because I feel I have no rights left at all, every little decision you make, you have to run through the social worker first, it's not right is it.
I'm not in a position to put her into a private home, if I was, I wouldn't be writing this! I have been thinking about re-mortgaging the house, but we'd like to move eventually so that's not an option.
I HATE dementia, it's selfish and self centered and it has no feelings at all, and it robs a person of their mind, body and soul, but not just the person who has it but for the family and people around that are dealing with it as well, I feel useless, I have no fight in me left, if I did I'd come down hard on social services, but that's only a dream at the moment I'm afraid to say.
Thanks for listening to my rant
Love hugs
Vonnie xxx