As Max Bygraves said "Now, I'm gonna tell you a story".
About 15 years ago, just before Christmas, there was a front page article in all the papers, and on the TV, about a man who'd been left in A & E, in a wheelchair, with a note pinned to his chest. The note read "My name is Jim. I have dementia. My daughter is exhausted and has gone on holiday".
Like a lot of people, John and I were very indignant. How could anyone do this! She's swanned off for Christmas, leaving her poor ol' Dad! Absolutely disgusting! The daughter returned in the New Year, to "claim" her Dad, and her husband said that he couldn't bear to see her any more, worn out, without any other help, and he'd insisted they went away for her to get a rest. Hmmm!
Fast forward a couple of years and my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Fast forward another decade, and not only did I regret my pious opinion of that poor daughter, but would have done the same thing myself, if I hadn't got respite, and then permanent care.
Nobody, but nobody who hasn't cared 24/7 for someone with AD for years, has any idea how hard it is on the carer. And as old friends on here might remember, I was prepared to murder the next person who said to me "but he looks so
well!", as if a clean shirt (done by me) and a shaved face (done by me) couldn't possibly belong to someone with Alzheimer's.
On TP, we all understand.