My dad's eyes have changed

exhausted 2015

Registered User
Jul 5, 2015
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stoke on trent
I care for my dad 24/7 so I study him for most of the day over these past few months his eyes seemed to have changed I can't quite put my finger on what is different about them he looks vacant? or not sure if the liveliness has gone from them, sometimes I wonder if it is me imaging it but my husband has noticed a change too.. Has anyone else ever experienced this xx
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,958
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I imagine its possible, in dementia, the brain alters, so his perception of the world around him must change, he may be not able to understand it so well now.

Bod
 

betsie

Registered User
Jun 11, 2012
252
0
The last few pictures I have of my dad are like that. His eyes are totally blank and emotionless. Like they are dead it is so sad.
I try to only look at older pictures of him now, where he still has a twinkle in his eye.
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,283
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SW London
My mother's eyes went like that at least a couple of years before she died. Sort of 'dead' sounds horrible, but it's the only word I can think of that will do. But then she was very old and had advanced AD by that stage anyway - she died at 97.
 

sistermillicent

Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
2,949
0
I saw this in mum too, a couple of years ago. Perhaps I am wrong to say it but I felt there was something evil in her eyes, I described it at the time as a monster inhabiting mum, because it certainly wasn't her. This has changed now and as she has deteriorated her eyes just look lost.
 

Long-Suffering

Registered User
Jul 6, 2015
425
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My dad's dementia is very changeable, and sometimes it's almost like he is possessed. At that time, his eyes glaze over and his whole face kind of sags. He really doesn't look like himself at all. At this time he'll either cry or be angry/violent. Then later on he'll kind of come back - he will still be very confused, but it's like what's left of him is back and the other guy is gone. Mum calls his alter ego 'The Other Guy'. It's actually pretty creepy.

LS
 

Chemmy

Registered User
Nov 7, 2011
7,589
0
Yorkshire
I saw this in mum too, a couple of years ago. Perhaps I am wrong to say it but I felt there was something evil in her eyes, I described it at the time as a monster inhabiting mum, because it certainly wasn't her. This has changed now and as she has deteriorated her eyes just look lost.

Long-Suffering
My dad's dementia is very changeable, and sometimes it's almost like he is possessed. At that time, his eyes glaze over and his whole face kind of sags. He really doesn't look like himself at all. At this time he'll either cry or be angry/violent. Then later on he'll kind of come back - he will still be very confused, but it's like what's left of him is back and the other guy is gone. Mum calls his alter ego 'The Other Guy'. It's actually pretty creepy

I remember that look in Mum - an angry blackness, like an alien looking out at you. Creeped me out too.
 

Loodles1995

Registered User
Jul 17, 2015
12
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I completely understand this. The one thing I say all the time to my dad is that I find it really hard to look at my mom's eyes. She isn't like it all of the time but as the disease progresses she is like it more and more. I feel like when I look into her eyes, she is not there and I find it heart breaking. It's like there is no lights there and no spark and she is lost.
 

exhausted 2015

Registered User
Jul 5, 2015
624
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stoke on trent
Thanks to everyone who has replied I can see all of the things mentioned.. A blackness definitely and yes an awful evilness ect.. It is frightening at times Isn't it sad that this disease takes the eyes too thanks again everyone feel a bit better now that it's not just dad xx
 

mitch59

New member
Mar 13, 2023
1
0
It was so interesting for me to read the comments in this thread as I have seen this with my mum. I came looking on the Internet for some answers to what I have seen with my mum, I have seen on a couple of occasions, my mum's eyes almost go black I'm sure they don't but it scared me senseless as it was just so unlike my mum it honestly felt like she was possessed. Trying to describe this look is difficult but a wild witchy look is my best attempt. My daughter has witnessed this also and, like ne, found it deeply distressing. We beleive my mum is at stage five dementia and wondered if this carries on to later stages?
 

northumbrian_k

Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
4,415
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Newcastle
Hi @mitch59 and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. I am afraid that this is not an area that I know anything about myself but perhaps some of our supportive and friendly members may be able to answer your question.
 

bellasm

Registered User
Mar 14, 2023
14
0
Yes, I understand your feeling. It's a little scary to watch a person lose interest not only in communication, but even in their favorite things.
 

heartbroken01

Registered User
Dec 27, 2022
112
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During my poor mums final days in hospital, as she was fading, I too saw evil in her eyes. It simply wasn't her. I couldn't (and can't) understand why I saw evil, mum wasnt a bad person. It was like she was possessed? Even when she passed there was no calm.
Heartbreaking xx