Ok -I'll try to simplify this!
I have cared for OH for the last seven plus years-Early Onset diagnosed when he was 59. Have LPA for finances but not for Health
Recently-new carer's assessment. The social worker felt it was time for me to start a managed move into care for OH -before we hit crisis point. So-I have spent the last few weeks looking at homes and have finally found one locally with spaces which would really suit him.
All going Ok until I rang his CPN this afternoon. ( I presumed she had been kept in the loop by social worker -found out she hasn't) This has been a very hard and emotional process....we've only been married for 9 years so it's been a bit of a rollercoaster to say the least!
I've had to resign from my job this month as could no longer cope with stresses of both ( was HoD in Senior School.) This means I've had to take pension 7 years early and my income is now 25% of what it was. I'm still teaching one day a week but will have to do more to survive. CPN just said that's what a lot of people have to do.
CPN is very anti. Says I can't just put him into care and is insisting on capacity test. That OH has rights. I tried to explain that I knew that - but haven't we also? That if I broke down, what wuold happen? She began talking about care packages coming in to home etc-but that would not take the stress away. I suffered from cancer four years ago - which my kids are sure was linked to stress-and am concerned about long term effects on my health.The fact that I am very close to breakdown doesn't seem to come into it. I've also reassured my son-who has been my rock through all this- that I am starting to look at care for OH. He still lives with me and his life has suffered as well.
I love OH very much - this seemed a good solution in that I could go and take him out/spend time etc with him but have a life of my own as well. CPN is insisting that he be told what I'm planning-rather than my telling him I had to go away for a couple of weeks and see how he settles.
Brain spinning-don't know what to do now. It was hard enough - and I feel I know him best - but it's not looking even harder than ever. Don't quite know what advice I need - but would appreciate any from those who have more knowledge!
Thanks!
I have cared for OH for the last seven plus years-Early Onset diagnosed when he was 59. Have LPA for finances but not for Health
Recently-new carer's assessment. The social worker felt it was time for me to start a managed move into care for OH -before we hit crisis point. So-I have spent the last few weeks looking at homes and have finally found one locally with spaces which would really suit him.
All going Ok until I rang his CPN this afternoon. ( I presumed she had been kept in the loop by social worker -found out she hasn't) This has been a very hard and emotional process....we've only been married for 9 years so it's been a bit of a rollercoaster to say the least!
I've had to resign from my job this month as could no longer cope with stresses of both ( was HoD in Senior School.) This means I've had to take pension 7 years early and my income is now 25% of what it was. I'm still teaching one day a week but will have to do more to survive. CPN just said that's what a lot of people have to do.
CPN is very anti. Says I can't just put him into care and is insisting on capacity test. That OH has rights. I tried to explain that I knew that - but haven't we also? That if I broke down, what wuold happen? She began talking about care packages coming in to home etc-but that would not take the stress away. I suffered from cancer four years ago - which my kids are sure was linked to stress-and am concerned about long term effects on my health.The fact that I am very close to breakdown doesn't seem to come into it. I've also reassured my son-who has been my rock through all this- that I am starting to look at care for OH. He still lives with me and his life has suffered as well.
I love OH very much - this seemed a good solution in that I could go and take him out/spend time etc with him but have a life of my own as well. CPN is insisting that he be told what I'm planning-rather than my telling him I had to go away for a couple of weeks and see how he settles.
Brain spinning-don't know what to do now. It was hard enough - and I feel I know him best - but it's not looking even harder than ever. Don't quite know what advice I need - but would appreciate any from those who have more knowledge!
Thanks!