Hi Astra, I speak as someone who cared for Mum at home and then as a visitor to a care home, so my situation was slightly different to yours as a spouse. I started out visiting every day...I was lucky I could walk to the home inside ten minutes.....but, and it is a strange but, I had to learn to let go and trust that someone else could manage for her. This was deespite the fact that I could not do it any longer( I was worn out) and I was starting to hate my mother.
Anyway once she was settled, ( even if she hated being there) I cut back the visits until such time as she was in End of Life care when I was back to 3 visits a day.
Sometimes I'd visit on set days and other times I'd pop in when the mood took me, but I never felt guilty if I didn't go in, and in her last few months she used to believe I'd just been in and had come back for something.
There are no right or wrong visits, just what works for you, but don't exclude the outside world entirely...the time might come when you need to rejoin it.....and don't feel guilty if you need some " me" time.....it's very important for your sanity.
