Hi my mum lives at home on her own with a lot of help from my brother and myself. She goes to a day centre 3 times a week (a life line!), has carers who come into give her breakfast and tea every day and meals on wheels on the days she's at home. She's very mobile and can get herself up, dressed and go to bed at night by herself. If she wants to go to the shop round the corner she can. This all sounds goods on paper but the reality is she tells the carers she's had breakfast and refuses to let them make her any (but looking at the weetabix she rarely does), when she dresses she will have at least 2 pairs of trousers and often tights as well and upto 6 jumpers (minimum of 3) and this is all the time no matter the weather even in summer, we hadn't known, until she was ill and so couldn't go to the day centre so i tried to order her an extra meal that day, that she must have cancelled them and so hadn't been having meals on wheels for a couple of months, she hasn't bathed/showered for months and nothing we do can persuade her to do so as she thinks she had one last night! My brother does all her food shopping and i go round and try to clean and wash her clothes etc but when i do round she wants me to talk to her and not clean so we are thinking of getting a cleaner in once a week whilst she is out as the house is dirty - not untidy but dirty. I go a couple of times a week as i work full time and have small children and would like to go round more but my family needs me as well. We have a door alarm on her front door so if goes she's out after a certain time at time it goes through to a centre who try to contact her and the us which helps. So we are trying our best for her but she is geting worse and i don't know when or if i would know when the time would come for her to go into a home - how would i be able to tell as we just deal with each issue as it comes along and move on but these issues are getting more and more and is impacting on our family lives so much more - i hate thinking like that as she is myu mum and i so want to help her and do whats best for her