Hi there!
I'm sure some of you have had similar problems with trying to get a relative to see a doctor with memory problems.
Basically my Mum has very bad short-term memory problems that have worsened considerably over the last six months. She has all the classic signs of Dementia/AD in my opinion such as misplacing things and repeating herself. She is not keen on leaving the house at all now and if she does follows my Dad in his shadow. She has also lost interest in things she enjoyed doing like cooking and baking etc.
My Dad is still fully lucid and lives with her but he is becoming increasingly frustrated and annoyed with her behaviour – he’s not the most patient of men. He has asked her to go to the Doctors’ several times but she refuses. After ignoring her behaviour for some years (probably too long) I decided to take a more active involvement and sit down with my parents and tell her she has a problems and to please see a doctor for everybody’s sake. This just resulted in a big argument with my Mum blaming my Dad for ‘muddling her brain’.
The outset is she still refuses to see her Doctor and stubbornly refuses to admit she has problems. I also brought up attendance allowance and the fact that I could get her a cleaner or other help with it – but she still thinks she is looking after my Dad and would rather do the cleaning herself so it’s done ‘properly’ even though the cleanliness of the house is visibly deteriorating. Attendance allowance is for old, infirm people in her opinion but I think my Dad is not far off being a carer and she would have a good chance of receiving it.
If anything happened to my Dad first then I really cannot see her being able to live on her own as she has no idea about drawing her pension and other financial stuff – we have EPA’S in place.
Two questions – I refuse to give up and know there are drugs and other help she could be getting so I need to get a doctor to see her. Her doctor says she needs to come voluntarily so what else can I do?
Can I apply for attendance allowance against her wishes and without her signing anything or being diagnosed?
Many thanks!!
I'm sure some of you have had similar problems with trying to get a relative to see a doctor with memory problems.
Basically my Mum has very bad short-term memory problems that have worsened considerably over the last six months. She has all the classic signs of Dementia/AD in my opinion such as misplacing things and repeating herself. She is not keen on leaving the house at all now and if she does follows my Dad in his shadow. She has also lost interest in things she enjoyed doing like cooking and baking etc.
My Dad is still fully lucid and lives with her but he is becoming increasingly frustrated and annoyed with her behaviour – he’s not the most patient of men. He has asked her to go to the Doctors’ several times but she refuses. After ignoring her behaviour for some years (probably too long) I decided to take a more active involvement and sit down with my parents and tell her she has a problems and to please see a doctor for everybody’s sake. This just resulted in a big argument with my Mum blaming my Dad for ‘muddling her brain’.
The outset is she still refuses to see her Doctor and stubbornly refuses to admit she has problems. I also brought up attendance allowance and the fact that I could get her a cleaner or other help with it – but she still thinks she is looking after my Dad and would rather do the cleaning herself so it’s done ‘properly’ even though the cleanliness of the house is visibly deteriorating. Attendance allowance is for old, infirm people in her opinion but I think my Dad is not far off being a carer and she would have a good chance of receiving it.
If anything happened to my Dad first then I really cannot see her being able to live on her own as she has no idea about drawing her pension and other financial stuff – we have EPA’S in place.
Two questions – I refuse to give up and know there are drugs and other help she could be getting so I need to get a doctor to see her. Her doctor says she needs to come voluntarily so what else can I do?
Can I apply for attendance allowance against her wishes and without her signing anything or being diagnosed?
Many thanks!!