Mum, 6 years daignosed with AD has lived with me, husband and 2 grandchildren for 5 years. For the most part things have been OK and I certainly think she is doing better with me than when she was at home. Since being here I have arranged 2 days a week at a day centre which she enjoys, a sitter once a week who she gets on great with and a nice lady that visits once a month just to chat to her and make up for the fact that she hasn't many friends alive or who can make the journey to see her.
She tells everyone what a good daughter I am and how grateful she is BUT.....
more and more frequently when it is just me and her she will become very 'prickly and arguementative.
She says if she had stayed in her own home she would have continued to do her own shopping (even though she now never wants to the shops or even for a ride in the car). This all started when she asked me to buy corn plasters and I said she didn't need them as she had 2 unopened pkts upstairs. 'Oh so you've been going through my things'. To keep the peace I bought a third pkt.
Now that it is very hot I told her to drink her water as she had not drunk her tea and that she would feel worse if she gets dehydrated ( I was a nurse and reminded her). ' Yes for 5 minutes- couldn't wait to leave' (actually I nursed for 3 years).
Has started to make excuses not to go to her day centre, which she previously enjoyed but I take her because I care for another disabled family member and it is only during the day I get time to myself. Mum's response ' You have got very hard- what happened to you?'. Yet, she can be very needy and then will only want me.
I know its down to her condition but I get so mad that my 'motives' for keeping her fed, watered and entertained are seen as interfering and dominating behaviour. And the worse thing is that because of her reactions our communication is now reduced to a very basic level trying to steer clear of anything that will get her riled. She sometimes comes out with such preposterous statements I have to correct her but would I be better just to passively accept it all even though I can feel my blood pressure rising?
She tells everyone what a good daughter I am and how grateful she is BUT.....
more and more frequently when it is just me and her she will become very 'prickly and arguementative.
She says if she had stayed in her own home she would have continued to do her own shopping (even though she now never wants to the shops or even for a ride in the car). This all started when she asked me to buy corn plasters and I said she didn't need them as she had 2 unopened pkts upstairs. 'Oh so you've been going through my things'. To keep the peace I bought a third pkt.
Now that it is very hot I told her to drink her water as she had not drunk her tea and that she would feel worse if she gets dehydrated ( I was a nurse and reminded her). ' Yes for 5 minutes- couldn't wait to leave' (actually I nursed for 3 years).
Has started to make excuses not to go to her day centre, which she previously enjoyed but I take her because I care for another disabled family member and it is only during the day I get time to myself. Mum's response ' You have got very hard- what happened to you?'. Yet, she can be very needy and then will only want me.
I know its down to her condition but I get so mad that my 'motives' for keeping her fed, watered and entertained are seen as interfering and dominating behaviour. And the worse thing is that because of her reactions our communication is now reduced to a very basic level trying to steer clear of anything that will get her riled. She sometimes comes out with such preposterous statements I have to correct her but would I be better just to passively accept it all even though I can feel my blood pressure rising?