Hi, I wonder if anyone else is experiencing a problem with a partner with Alzheimers' driving. My OH has a licence until the end of June and we are waiting for a decision from DVLA as to whether my OH will be allowed to drive for another 6 months or whether a driving test will have to be taken. I feel so afraid that an accident may occur and my opinion from the doctors has not been asked for and DVLA do not know my OH. Has anyone experienced this or can they advise. Thank you x
Driving
- Thread starter oliviajuliette
- Start date
Hello Olivia do you feel unsafe when your partner is driving, l was when my hubby was driving so l took his keys away, l told the Dr. My husband was not safe to drive, l was lucky that my hubby did at the time agree he didn't know where he was going. If you do feel safe, it would be good if he took a test, just to give you peace of mind
Hello pamann, thank you for your reply. I don't feel completely safe when my OH is driving and I think too that I should speak to the doctor it's just that my husband doesn't think there is a problem with his driving and when I have pointed this out the response has been anger and even more determination to drive. To hide the keys is therefore out of the question. However, after writing this down and reading your comments the only responsible thing to do is speak to the doctor in confidence. Thank you for your time x
Hi olivijuliette well your on a great topic here Driving has talked about on Talking Point ever since I joined T.P in March 2005 and I replied to most of them , because I have a diagnoses of dementia myself obviously I try to support and give hopefully useful information to those who would like to retain their Driving Licence they still have the mental ability and retain the driving skills , DVLA can be a long drawn out battle if like me your have no intention of allowing them to take it away because of a diagnoses of dementia , I fought to keep my driving Licence and still drive here in UK and in Europe after my diagnoses in 1999 sixteen years , well that’s my view if its difficult to read well that's dementia " but my Driving is OK "
just to add I battled with DVLA for 12 years to get my Full driving Licence back and
for most of the time I was Mr Angry well worse than usual , when my Full driving Licence was reinstated it calmed me down well I'm lot better anyway now
Thank you so much Tony for your views, however my OH does not drive as well as you and I am so pleased that you have retained your licence and that you will continue to do so for as long as possible.
Ok thank you oliviajuliette it suprising that so many people today think that having dementa your not allowewd to Drive obviously that not true when I was frist dignosed with Alzheimers the Consultant didn't mentiion the DVLA or driving it wax only when he left and anew Consultan took over 2 year later , I try to help others in similar circumstancies as myself sometime I never Had !!
DRIVING-
I think that driving must be a big problem for all of us (or at least carers caring for once strong men). My husband has continued to drive (most probably too long) He passed a grueling test three years ago and so I had to let him drive. At Christmas, he hit a bicyclist, but nothing came of it. She was partly at fault by her own admission. But his driving has declined, but of course he doesn't see his own condition.
So, I sold the cars and have not replaced them. He is, of course, furious with me.
I have been using public transportation. (we live in Basel Switzerland so it is possible to get around) My family thinks I should get a car. But if I did i would have to battle him. I am exhausted and no energy to battle all this any longer.
Today my dear friend, brought him home from a walk (she and her husband sweetly take him for me on Thursdays) Today they dropped off their second car for me to use for a few days. She told him she does not want him to drive her car, that their insurance will not allow it. He started acting very passive aggressive about things. After he started accusing me of calling the insurance company and making trouble for him. It is all my fault that he could not drive her car. So, I had had enough, I called her and told her to tell him again. He told her he knew it was not her fault just a misunderstanding. But he was all anxious and upset, But he is not capable of organizing a new car or even organizing to take the driving test again. That is what he says he is going to do...but I know that is not going to happen. If it does I will eat my hat.
I was diagnosed with CML-chronic myeloid leukemia in March. I am fine with the treatments. Doing well. But I continue to feel incredibly trapped by HIS disease which is so incredibly hopeless. I know 'this too shall pass' and I know it will not get easier.
I think that driving must be a big problem for all of us (or at least carers caring for once strong men). My husband has continued to drive (most probably too long) He passed a grueling test three years ago and so I had to let him drive. At Christmas, he hit a bicyclist, but nothing came of it. She was partly at fault by her own admission. But his driving has declined, but of course he doesn't see his own condition.
So, I sold the cars and have not replaced them. He is, of course, furious with me.
I have been using public transportation. (we live in Basel Switzerland so it is possible to get around) My family thinks I should get a car. But if I did i would have to battle him. I am exhausted and no energy to battle all this any longer.
Today my dear friend, brought him home from a walk (she and her husband sweetly take him for me on Thursdays) Today they dropped off their second car for me to use for a few days. She told him she does not want him to drive her car, that their insurance will not allow it. He started acting very passive aggressive about things. After he started accusing me of calling the insurance company and making trouble for him. It is all my fault that he could not drive her car. So, I had had enough, I called her and told her to tell him again. He told her he knew it was not her fault just a misunderstanding. But he was all anxious and upset, But he is not capable of organizing a new car or even organizing to take the driving test again. That is what he says he is going to do...but I know that is not going to happen. If it does I will eat my hat.
I was diagnosed with CML-chronic myeloid leukemia in March. I am fine with the treatments. Doing well. But I continue to feel incredibly trapped by HIS disease which is so incredibly hopeless. I know 'this too shall pass' and I know it will not get easier.
Oh Olivia, I really feel for you. We are going through problems with the DVLA at the moment. My hubby had his license revoked last year, initially for six months after he declared his operation to insert a shunt for his NPH. We've had a lot of communications between various Consultants but it has seemed to be in the form of questionnaires rather than a medical report.
I told our GP about my husband's attitude when he's driving but his attitude was that if I didn't feel safe not to get in the car. Hubby is waiting to have a medical with the GP but the forms haven't arrived from the DVLA yet. He has said he won't bother to examine hubby as he knows the format and will just fill it in.
As partners/Carers our opinion counts for nothing, I'm sad to say. I hope you get a happy resolution and someone sees reason.
How right you are. I'm going through this with the aggressive behaviour and the feelings of being trapped. I can't drive anymore as I have a degenerative eye condition and I don't mind but my hubby throws it back at me. I'm praying hard for some Divine Intervention so he doesn't get his license back. Driving and DVLA seem to be a common thread amongst Dementia sufferers and their Carers/partners. It sucks.
I know there are different view expressed on T.P regards’ people with disabilities driving a car the Law and DVLA have rules and procedures in place to cover these situations, unfortunately we have nothing in place to vet bad or illegal drivers they just continue until they get caught by the Police and they are caught and taken to court what happens basically nothing maybe a few points on your licence or a small fine so in my opinion why should anyone with dementia worry or beat themselves
up about driving
up about driving
I think that ANYBODY who is a bad/unsafe/illegal driver should be stopped from driving.
Whether or not you have dementia doesnt change that.
Whether or not you have dementia doesnt change that.
Memory Clinic - Driving
Just to let you know it was at the Memory Clinic where my husband was told he could not drive any more. Part of this decision was based on him not being able to copy a shape exactly as the original. I was so relieved it was a Dementia Professional decision that stopped him driving and informed our GP.
Just to let you know it was at the Memory Clinic where my husband was told he could not drive any more. Part of this decision was based on him not being able to copy a shape exactly as the original. I was so relieved it was a Dementia Professional decision that stopped him driving and informed our GP.
I had the same problem. OH thought his driving was fine it was a wonder he didn't,t kill someone. My G.P said it was up to him to stop driving if he wasn't,t confident. Of course he has no insight to his condition .it was a nightmare but then a friend bought the car and he never mentioned it again! Strange! But then everything is strange.
My husband's CPN agreed with me that he should not be driving. I'd been increasingly worried about it. Took his keys, drove his car to the garage and sold it. Then returned licence to DVLA. I was expecting a total eruption-but OH was appeared relieved I'd done this as he was avoiding driving and it was also worrying him. Big weight off my mind....phew....
My wife who has Early Onset Dementia hasn't shown any interest in wanting to drive a car anymore in the last year, when she was more cognisant a year back, then she'd always want to do the driving, which i was happy to let her do as she was an excellent driver up until then, being a former ex amateur rally driver.
I haven't notified the DVLA, as she no longer has an interest in driving, I am simply going to let the licence lapse & not renew it. I had a word with her doctor about informing the DVLA about her Dementia & and his advice was that it wasn't necessary to inform them, just simply not let her drive.
I haven't notified the DVLA, as she no longer has an interest in driving, I am simply going to let the licence lapse & not renew it. I had a word with her doctor about informing the DVLA about her Dementia & and his advice was that it wasn't necessary to inform them, just simply not let her drive.
