Mum has been in her care home for eighteen months. Sometimes, she is content,but generally she complains about the food, the carers, the other residents and wishes herself dead.She has Alzheimers, mixed with Vascular Dementia and is 87.
My older sister can't bear to see her so unhappy, and I find it distressing,but feel that this is the disease and she'll probably never be happy again. My sister has some issues with the care,but generally Mum seems well cared for. There is a lot going on at the home;singing,exercise classes, entertainment, parties.We can walk to the local shops and behind is a lovely park,where we go to feed the ducks.Mum loves all this, but this isn't every day and when there's nothing going on or no visitors, she's miserable and says she can't stay and must leave.
My sister has tried taking her to another care home,where her sister is - miles away where she grew up.She hated it and wanted to come 'home'.She is now suggesting she moves in with her! I feel that this is a terrible idea.My sister is a carer and feels she can look after Mum better than the care home. She refuses to educate herself about dementia and I don't think she really realises exactly what she is taking on.She is 67 and still works part-time.I'm worried that Mum will be confused and frightened and that she won't be safe when my sister leaves her to go to work. I see Mum 4 or 5 times a week and because of location and my work committments, I would only manage once or twice a week. I'd miss her and she'd miss me.There aren't shops or parks within walking distance and Mum will be a prisoner in a much smaller enviroment than she is now.
I'm sorry this is so long! And I could go on,but essentially is it right to move Mum?Will it make her happy?I spend my life worrying about my Mum.
My older sister can't bear to see her so unhappy, and I find it distressing,but feel that this is the disease and she'll probably never be happy again. My sister has some issues with the care,but generally Mum seems well cared for. There is a lot going on at the home;singing,exercise classes, entertainment, parties.We can walk to the local shops and behind is a lovely park,where we go to feed the ducks.Mum loves all this, but this isn't every day and when there's nothing going on or no visitors, she's miserable and says she can't stay and must leave.
My sister has tried taking her to another care home,where her sister is - miles away where she grew up.She hated it and wanted to come 'home'.She is now suggesting she moves in with her! I feel that this is a terrible idea.My sister is a carer and feels she can look after Mum better than the care home. She refuses to educate herself about dementia and I don't think she really realises exactly what she is taking on.She is 67 and still works part-time.I'm worried that Mum will be confused and frightened and that she won't be safe when my sister leaves her to go to work. I see Mum 4 or 5 times a week and because of location and my work committments, I would only manage once or twice a week. I'd miss her and she'd miss me.There aren't shops or parks within walking distance and Mum will be a prisoner in a much smaller enviroment than she is now.
I'm sorry this is so long! And I could go on,but essentially is it right to move Mum?Will it make her happy?I spend my life worrying about my Mum.