All Falling Apart

[MrsMoose]

Perhaps because of my father-in-law's advanced age his deterioration seems to be progressing rather quickly.

He'd forgotten that my husband was visiting today.
He'd forgotten the name of the carer ('The Woman.').
He'd forgotten that because the carer comes late on Fridays that the plan for him to be taken to the barber - an appointment he'd completely forgotten when my husband turned up - had never been practical.
He'd forgotten what he had in his fridge, so the items he said he needed - eggs, cheese - etc were actually surplus to requirements.
He'd forgotten a previous conversation about money and said he needed £500 cash. ('What do you need it for? We agreed on £200.That will last you for 7 weeks.' 'But I need £500.')

It's going to get worse isn't it?

 

[Tin]

Its like a punch in the stomach. Over the last few weeks I've noticed a few not so subtle changes in my mum. At the moment she is pottering in the kitchen just moving things around. Its hard to witness, but what else can we do? Chin up and stay strong.

 

[Kezzamac]

Im so sorry Mrs Moose, but it's going to get much worse. This is just the start.
But you're in the right place for help and advice.
The most important bit of advice I can give you is be patient with your father-in-law. It took me a while to realise that continuously correcting my mother-in-law when she forgot things or when she started to talk nonsense just made her more upset and me more frustrated. Now I try to distract her or comfort her when she's confused and distressed.
I know that things will get worse, but for me, getting frustrated and angry with what she says and does just makes for more stress. I have to continuously remind myself that it's dementia talking and not the lovely, intelligent lady that we all know and love.
Having read lots of threads on here, I know we are in the mid stages and things will get significantly worse, but I also know there are lots of people out there in the same boat and I can lean on them for support when things get tough.
We're here if you need us

 

[Kjn]

Mrsmoose it's so hard but as kezzamac said , you are in the best place here for so much help and advice, there is always someone here with an answer ,advice , something to brighten your mood or just a big hug. Xx

 

[MrsMoose]

Thanks both of you.

I think that as my father-in-law is 94, my partner and I find ourselves hoping that physically he'll just stop, before his mind goes entirely...

Though essentially wishing that someone will die, feels rather mean.

 

[Kjn]

MrsMoose don't worry , we all understand what you mean on here. X

 

[RedLou]

Mrs M - I have the same feelings regarding my father. When I think about he himself dying, I weep. But I want the dementia to die. I don't want this half-life - this parasite in his brain - to go on. I don't want his suffering to continue.

 

[Summerheather]

MrsMoose, don't worry about it - that's rather mild to what I posted when I first came here, all I can say is thankgod for TP, here most people know what you mean.

Myself, I think they've cured so many cancers that they've forgotten all about AD and all these people they've cured some of them will go onto have this ugly disease that they've barely spent anything on for a cure.

 

[opaline]

Organ donation

Read an item on here about a sufferer's brain being donated for research into the disease, I would be interested to hear points of view?

 

[2jays]

Read an item on here about a sufferer's brain being donated for research into the disease, I would be interested to hear points of view?

I know Sylvia's husband donated his brain for research and I understand that the process was handled with great respect. Maybe when she's back on line she may be able to give you more advice


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Lindy50]

Thanks both of you.

I think that as my father-in-law is 94, my partner and I find ourselves hoping that physically he'll just stop, before his mind goes entirely...

Though essentially wishing that someone will die, feels rather mean.

Mrs Moose, my mum is nearly 94, and I do know what you mean. I don't want her to go, I will miss her terribly.....but I do want an end to her worry, confusion, delusions and the rest. It's so difficult

Sending you a hug

Lindy xx

 

[Grannie G]

Read an item on here about a sufferer's brain being donated for research into the disease, I would be interested to hear points of view?

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=1103

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=116

I hope this helps.

My brain will also be donated for research because monitoring and donation of healthy brains is just as important as monitoring and donation of brains affected by dementia.