My mother's care home have given her 28 days notice to leave.
She has AD and at the moment is very poorly.
I must stress that the manager of the care home has a problem with me, not my mother.
I was originally threatened with this several months ago, when I persisted in asking questions as to why my mum didn't have basic items (like soap or underwear) when I visited her at the care home.
Other requests for information such as her care plan/inventory of possessions/medications were also ignored.
I'd actually received a written apology (for a long list of things) from the owner of the care home.
When I very politely said that I would still like answers to the questions I'd asked, she made a thinly veiled threat - in other words, "shut up or your mum's out"
So against all my instincts, I shut up. I thought it better that my mum wasn't disrupted and I hoped that my questions had at least "bucked up" practices at the care home - although having just seen a recent CQC report, I realise that's probably not going to happen unless the manager is replaced.
Nothing more happened until several months later, when I discovered that the care home allowed my mum to go to hospital in just a nightdress and sit unaccompanied in A & E late at night.
I'd been told by a member of staff that she would be accompanied and would be staying overnight - I was given the impression it was arranged, and no mention of A & E was made to me.
I am living in Spain (long story, not my choice and it makes things very difficult regarding my mum)
So my daughter went to collect my mum and had to ask staff at the hospital for a blanket as she was sitting there in just a nightie.
The manager of the care home answered the phone when I rang and I made the point that my mother shouldn't have gone to hospital dressed like that (it was apparently an extremely cold night according to my daughter)
At the very least she should have had some clothes/coat to wear at the hospital.
Her answer/explanation? "Your mum was on a stretcher"
The Unit Manager then said that they weren't responsible for my mum once she got into the ambulance.
Legally that may be true, but surely commonsense and a bit of "care" kicks in and you think of what an elderly/ill/mentally impaired lady might need - like warm clothes and shoes and someone to reassure her?
Still, I kept my temper and remained civil - but my phone call had come on the back of an email from my daughter, which although polite, made it clear that she was also very concerned and unhappy about events.
I think I was the straw that broke the camel's back.
In fact my daughter and I were both told different things by 2 members of staff at the care home regarding whether it is policy to accompany residents to hospital or not.
No straight answers forthcoming, even to whether this was in fact an emergency or not (I'd been told not, and my daughter also had the same impression)
The next day I was sent an email, giving my mother 28 days notice - no explanation, nothing.
We emailed back but no response.
My daughter was told by the manager that "your mother's been complaining again" which struck me as odd, because I'd simply asked why my mother hadn't been properly dressed to go out on a cold night.
Then again - nothing happened.
No response from the care home to our emails, and yet we were getting closer and closer to the date that they wanted mum out so we contacted social services.
Meeting last Friday between the care home and social services
- my daughter was invited, but she declined, telling the manager of the care home that that I should attend via speakerphone - as she herself has done in the past.
Long story short, I was deliberately prevented from attending the meeting.
- I rang multiple times and kept being told that the social worker hadn't arrived yet.
After several hours (with me continuing to ring the care home), my daughter then phoned and the manager told her that they'd just finished the meeting and the social worker was about to leave
- I'd called solidly every 20 -30 mins since 2.30pm (the scheduled start time) I'd spoken to the manager who told me the social worker was stuck in traffic and to call back in - which I did, multiple times, but was given several excuses by both the manager and staff - the last one being "there's no reply...she's locked her door" (after I asked them to go and knock on the manager's door as she was expecting me to attend the meeting by phone).
Now to be honest, if I was living in the UK, I'd have whipped my mum out of there last year, but with her current health issues, I don't believe moving her is in her interests.
Since the first "veiled threat" I became so paranoid that I've actually recorded phone calls, to prove I've been civil etc. as it appears that lying is something that comes very easily to the care home manager.
My question is: surely the care home have to provide an explanation as to the reasons for this notice? And surely it can't be because a resident's closest relative has asked some questions which they are uncomfortable or unwilling to answer?
She has AD and at the moment is very poorly.
I must stress that the manager of the care home has a problem with me, not my mother.
I was originally threatened with this several months ago, when I persisted in asking questions as to why my mum didn't have basic items (like soap or underwear) when I visited her at the care home.
Other requests for information such as her care plan/inventory of possessions/medications were also ignored.
I'd actually received a written apology (for a long list of things) from the owner of the care home.
When I very politely said that I would still like answers to the questions I'd asked, she made a thinly veiled threat - in other words, "shut up or your mum's out"
So against all my instincts, I shut up. I thought it better that my mum wasn't disrupted and I hoped that my questions had at least "bucked up" practices at the care home - although having just seen a recent CQC report, I realise that's probably not going to happen unless the manager is replaced.
Nothing more happened until several months later, when I discovered that the care home allowed my mum to go to hospital in just a nightdress and sit unaccompanied in A & E late at night.
I'd been told by a member of staff that she would be accompanied and would be staying overnight - I was given the impression it was arranged, and no mention of A & E was made to me.
I am living in Spain (long story, not my choice and it makes things very difficult regarding my mum)
So my daughter went to collect my mum and had to ask staff at the hospital for a blanket as she was sitting there in just a nightie.
The manager of the care home answered the phone when I rang and I made the point that my mother shouldn't have gone to hospital dressed like that (it was apparently an extremely cold night according to my daughter)
At the very least she should have had some clothes/coat to wear at the hospital.
Her answer/explanation? "Your mum was on a stretcher"
The Unit Manager then said that they weren't responsible for my mum once she got into the ambulance.
Legally that may be true, but surely commonsense and a bit of "care" kicks in and you think of what an elderly/ill/mentally impaired lady might need - like warm clothes and shoes and someone to reassure her?
Still, I kept my temper and remained civil - but my phone call had come on the back of an email from my daughter, which although polite, made it clear that she was also very concerned and unhappy about events.
I think I was the straw that broke the camel's back.
In fact my daughter and I were both told different things by 2 members of staff at the care home regarding whether it is policy to accompany residents to hospital or not.
No straight answers forthcoming, even to whether this was in fact an emergency or not (I'd been told not, and my daughter also had the same impression)
The next day I was sent an email, giving my mother 28 days notice - no explanation, nothing.
We emailed back but no response.
My daughter was told by the manager that "your mother's been complaining again" which struck me as odd, because I'd simply asked why my mother hadn't been properly dressed to go out on a cold night.
Then again - nothing happened.
No response from the care home to our emails, and yet we were getting closer and closer to the date that they wanted mum out so we contacted social services.
Meeting last Friday between the care home and social services
- my daughter was invited, but she declined, telling the manager of the care home that that I should attend via speakerphone - as she herself has done in the past.
Long story short, I was deliberately prevented from attending the meeting.
- I rang multiple times and kept being told that the social worker hadn't arrived yet.
After several hours (with me continuing to ring the care home), my daughter then phoned and the manager told her that they'd just finished the meeting and the social worker was about to leave
- I'd called solidly every 20 -30 mins since 2.30pm (the scheduled start time) I'd spoken to the manager who told me the social worker was stuck in traffic and to call back in - which I did, multiple times, but was given several excuses by both the manager and staff - the last one being "there's no reply...she's locked her door" (after I asked them to go and knock on the manager's door as she was expecting me to attend the meeting by phone).
Now to be honest, if I was living in the UK, I'd have whipped my mum out of there last year, but with her current health issues, I don't believe moving her is in her interests.
Since the first "veiled threat" I became so paranoid that I've actually recorded phone calls, to prove I've been civil etc. as it appears that lying is something that comes very easily to the care home manager.
My question is: surely the care home have to provide an explanation as to the reasons for this notice? And surely it can't be because a resident's closest relative has asked some questions which they are uncomfortable or unwilling to answer?