My mum has recent diagnosis. Some of the time she is more or less 'with it' but other times she believes she is staying in her sisters house who she thinks has only just died (but actually died 15 years ago). my dad is upset that she doesnt think she is at home and challenges her. usually she looks around, and goes, 'oh we are at home' and does not seem to be upset by this realisation. Other times she gets upset and angry and these are the times he is learning not to carry on challenging her. My question is this: seeing as most times she looks around, and realises it is her own home, and she is not upset by this realisation, is it ok to challenge her once, kindly? if she realises she is at home is that better and keeping her with us for longer? We know that if she says she really is at auntie bessies when challenged then we should go with that, but are we helping or harming to check if she can recognise the house? Your thoughts would be welcomed! thank you
TO Challenge or not to challenge
- Thread starter lesleymillachip
- Start date
Hi welcome to TP, although I'm sorry that you needed to find us!
I think that you know your Mum best, and so long as she is not upset or distressed then you seem to be doing the right thing, just be aware that you may have to change your perspective on this as time goes by.
I think that you know your Mum best, and so long as she is not upset or distressed then you seem to be doing the right thing, just be aware that you may have to change your perspective on this as time goes by.
at present my mum can be snapped out of a confusion, I will gently prompt her into reality, usually in a casual non contradictory way(if that's possible)- on occasion she forgets that family have long since moved from where they lived many years ago and thinks relatives who have been long dead are alive, she does then realise and then recalls- its as if at times her mind slips back in time, with a little help she can come back-and I would hate to not prompt her to do so while she can, and it would be horrid if I didn't and then she suddenly recalled and asked why I was agreeing with her when she had been wrong!- obviously if she became worse and was upset by being reminded and really couldn't come back into the reality of things she was saying I would stop, but at present the memory is in her mind, she just sometimes loses it for a little while,
thank you soo much for taking the time to reply. i really apprecriate it as it makes me feel a bit more confident. i will keep my eye on things and change as we need to. thank you xx
thank you soo much for taking the time to reply. i really apprecriate it as it makes me feel a bit more confident. i like that you try not to confront - me and dad will work harder at nudging her more kindly than perhaps we have been. thank you xx
