It's been one long learning process over the last few years. Advice here has always helped a lot. So I am wondering what TP thinks about this: After a difficult move into a nursing home, triggered by a hip fracture last September, and a slow process of adjustment, Mum (who is on Aricept) has since the beginning of this year apparently become very accepting of the benefits of being in a safe, comfortable place where she sees family constantly. She has been saying for about two months that she expects she won't now ever go back to live in her house which is 200 miles away. However, she now says that she wants to go back for one final visit to "say goodbye". We are thinking about trying to accomplish this as a short one or two day trip and it is quite a logistical challenge for her and us. My worry is that in spite of what she is saying now, with her present levels of confusion she will find the emotional impact of this farewell visit too much to handle and we will be back where we started 6 months ago with mum angry and rejecting of all efforts to move her, or to arrange care for her at home.
I know that we can stall her more or less indefinitely without too much difficulty, but mum herself is now saying that she thinks she wants to sell the house; and there is only a finite amount of time in which this goodbye trip will be possible, both because of the need to sell and because of mum's physical condition - she is pretty frail now although still mobile.
What would you do in this situation ? Should we make it happen for mum or should we try to delay until she no longer asks ? She last left her house one morning in September thinking she was going to see the GP and as it turned out due to the fall she has not been back there since. Sympathy makes it seem that we ought to let her see her home one more time, but logic says that this will be too much for her to handle and undo the sixth months of settling in at the nursing home. Advice please if you have a moment to spare.
I know that we can stall her more or less indefinitely without too much difficulty, but mum herself is now saying that she thinks she wants to sell the house; and there is only a finite amount of time in which this goodbye trip will be possible, both because of the need to sell and because of mum's physical condition - she is pretty frail now although still mobile.
What would you do in this situation ? Should we make it happen for mum or should we try to delay until she no longer asks ? She last left her house one morning in September thinking she was going to see the GP and as it turned out due to the fall she has not been back there since. Sympathy makes it seem that we ought to let her see her home one more time, but logic says that this will be too much for her to handle and undo the sixth months of settling in at the nursing home. Advice please if you have a moment to spare.
I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
