Finding care support

[Elpida2015]

Hi. I'm new to this site. My mother was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My father is currently caring for her but I am worried that he will need some support. He currently does not have any time away from her as he cannot trust her to be safe whilst he is out of the house and he isn't getting much sleep as she is up 4/5 times a night. He should be able to afford to pay for some occasional help but i don't know where to start. Can anyone help? Thank you

 

[Beate]

Has your mother had a care assessment yet and your father a carers needs assessment? They should identify what help is needed and available. For his own good, your father will need to accept that others could lighten his care burden. Your mother could go to a day centre and/or get sitters in so he has more time for himself. There is no shame in asking for help, and the right day centre can be a marvellous place, benefitting both carer and caree. Carers for nighttime are harder to obtain but your father could ask for respite so your mother could spend some weeks in a care home, allowing him to sleep at night.
Tell him to get in touch with adult social services and get the ball rolling, or he might head for a carers breakdown.

 

[sistermillicent]

do you have any contact with the memory clinic? They can be helpful in getting things going with additional support, or at least point you in the right direction. You could also ring the Alzheimers Society as this might be useful to you. I am saying "you" in all this because my dad was so devastated by mum's illness and the dreadful time they were having that he couldn't take in what he needed to do or couldn't visualise that he needed help, and so I did it for him.
Dad was also terrified of the thought of an assessment as this meant he was going to be judged in some way. He wasn't but he really needed his hand held through the whole process of getting help. And this was my dad who was capable of driving tanks across egypt, getting kids throught their A levels and employing staff etc. Couldn't face getting himself help though.

 

[Elpida2015]

Thank you very much for your response and I'm really sorry for not responding until now. I tend to oscillate between wanting to get information and burying my head in the sand. Will my mum need to be present at the carers need assessment? Mum has forgotten about her diagnosis and I know dad won't want he yo go through it all again. Thanks again

Has your mother had a care assessment yet and your father a carers needs assessment? They should identify what help is needed and available. For his own good, your father will need to accept that others could lighten his care burden. Your mother could go to a day centre and/or get sitters in so he has more time for himself. There is no shame in asking for help, and the right day centre can be a marvellous place, benefitting both carer and caree. Carers for nighttime are harder to obtain but your father could ask for respite so your mother could spend some weeks in a care home, allowing him to sleep at night.
Tell him to get in touch with adult social services and get the ball rolling, or he might head for a carers breakdown.

 

[Elpida2015]

Thank you for your reply and I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I have called the Alzheimer's society but because mums forgotten about her diagnosis i think we have all just got on with things no not looked into help and care as dad is kind of coping at the moment but things are getting harder and harder. I think she's sort of somewhere between needing lots of care and still not being too severe (on her good days anyway) so it's hard to know when we need to get more help in place. Is your father still caring fit your mother? Does he have any respite? Thanks again

do you have any contact with the memory clinic? They can be helpful in getting things going with additional support, or at least point you in the right direction. You could also ring the Alzheimers Society as this might be useful to you. I am saying "you" in all this because my dad was so devastated by mum's illness and the dreadful time they were having that he couldn't take in what he needed to do or couldn't visualise that he needed help, and so I did it for him.
Dad was also terrified of the thought of an assessment as this meant he was going to be judged in some way. He wasn't but he really needed his hand held through the whole process of getting help. And this was my dad who was capable of driving tanks across egypt, getting kids throught their A levels and employing staff etc. Couldn't face getting himself help though.

 

[clareglen]

The amount of times she's up in the night, sounds like she should be getting Attendance Allowance at the higher rate if she's over 65. Also she should get council tax exemption from your local council as has an enduring mental illness. It also gets backdated to the date your GP will enter on the form from when she first had it. CTax exemption Form normally downloadable from your local council site. It all helps with care costs.