What to say

[Ovacomer]

My 91 year old mum who has had dementia for 5 or so years and is a dementia unit but gets the staff to phone everyday so she can speak to me. Every day she wants to know why she is there - she has been in this home for 1year - we've tried telling her its her heart and all manner of other reasoning but she gets very angry and into a rage and saying she perfectly capable of looking after herself. At the moment we just have to cut her off as she shouts and gets very angry and cannot understand any reason. Any suggestions?
Many thanks

 

[Caroleca]

My first response is to tell her that the doctor doesn't think she's ready to go home....mom has been asking for year now and that is usually our standard answer. It is not easy...take care of yourself. I wonder why the staff cannot distract her from calling you?

 

[Ovacomer]

My first response is to tell her that the doctor doesn't think she's ready to go home....mom has been asking for year now and that is usually our standard answer. It is not easy...take care of yourself. I wonder why the staff cannot distract her from calling you?

Thanks my mum is strangely in some ways so with it and it is very difficult to distract I think the staff are getting to the end of all their resources. Its like having children you feel embarrassed by their behaviour and feel responsible! Hope you are getting on Ok

 

[jaymor]

Ask the staff to say they cannot get you, the phone is out of order or you told them you have an appointment of some kind and wont be in today. They should at least try to hold her off for some days during a week.

I know how wearing it can be, my husband did it when he was in an assessment unit. We gave them our daughters number so she could take some of the calls and he unit used white lies to cut out some of the calls.

 

[opaline]

What would she do if you simply didn't answer? ie you're out