I want to run away..............

[di65]

We have the youngest grand-daughter on Wednesday afternoons which proves to be a slight distraction We took her out to a friend's this afternoon who has a couple of llama's which she enjoyed feeding. All this delayed the inevitable until about 4pm
What's for tea - we are going to your Rotary's BBQ tonight. Where is it - when is it - are you coming - why - will I be alright wearing this. I inwardly smile at this last one, as he has his 'uniform' which I have to prise him out of. What jacket will I take - we decide on his normal one which he goes and puts in the car (after making sure which car we are taking - we only have one), He then brings out another jacket which he asks 'is this one OK to wear' I answer that it would be, but you have put one in the car already. This started verbal abuse as to the fact I don't have a clue what I am talking about and to just shut up. Ah well, he took this one out to the car and came back wearing the first choice and asked me why I just hadn't told him his jacket was in the car. We have had multiple repeats of the questions, along with who else is going, will I need money (with many going throughs of his pockets), who will feed our kids any many other things I have tried to tune out. AND - it is only 4.30 - another hour and a half to go. Must go and polish my halo - the one I got for not pushing him out the car on the highway

 

[Grey Lad]

any many other things I have tried to tune out. Must go and polish my halo - the one I got for not pushing him out the car on the highway

Please let me know the station that we can tune out to: hope we can all get it over here. Hope the halo stays in place: you deserve it!

 

[Caroleca]

Oh boy! Do you ever deserve that halo! Wow...its a tough go this disease...really tests us doesn't it. Sometimes having the gumption to just agree is a toughie! But I suppose ultimately ...that's the best approach.
Carole

 

[truth24]

I was always the baddie too, Hervieux. I think it's because we are the ones 'making' them do things they don't want to do, like bathing, changing clothes, etc. I think it is only now, nearly 6 months since my OH entered his CH, that he seems to accept my presence with some pleasure. I could cope with all the horrible physical things this terrible disease caused him to do but found his mental rejection of me very hard to deal with.

Wishing you all a peaceful day.

Sent from my GT-N5110

 

[Hervieux]

Oh dear, Di65, how I feel for you. Last night was the closest I got to feeling like taking myself out in the cold and letting the cold take me out. Things are now so bad here, that I almost haven't got the strength anymore.

I won't bore anyone with the details, but I've been on a losing streak now, for a long time. Grit yer teeth and bear it ain't working very well, lately!

If you can get any support with perhaps a bit of respite, I'd say go for it, although someone else needs to tell you how. I'm all but wiped out myself.

Wishing you strength and lots of luck with any help you can find, should you try for some.

Dear Chuggalug,I think you must be feeling really low so I am sending you a special hug.Somedays really do defeat us and I recognise the signs in your message,sooooo--- huge hug,just for YOU.xxxxxx


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

 

[Chuggalug]

Emptying his waste bin full of pee and 4 pairs of soaking pants is slightly more manageable now.Anyone else have this?I think it is shame at having accidents,nearly pad time I guess,wonder how he'll react to those.

That, I might be more able to cope with, but I'm fighting a losing battle with our cat who has decided this year to filth everywhere he can find. I really lost it the other night as it's every single day. I'm also in process of having to buy new furniture to replace stuff that just cannot be cleaned. For instance, I just haven't been able to eat at our table for ages. Can't bring myself to sit where the animal has been. Day after agonising day is what's taking its toll at present. Still in the fight, but hubby's interference with everything I try to do to prevent the worst makes this job so much tougher.

Huge beanbag should arrive tomorrow to replace old sofa. Can't wait, they're sooooooo comfy to sit and sleep on. Wrap it in plastic when it arrives!

 

[truth24]

Really feeling for you all. What a beautiful dog. Sorry about your cat, Chuggalug. It sounds cruel and forgive me because I am an animal lover and love my cat dearly, but would it might not be kinder to have it pts or would that upset your OH too much?

Sent from my GT-N5110

 

[SoyHJ]

I do so sympathise, Di. While my OH does know where we are going etc my life sounds similar to what Jig Jog described. Clock Watching! The day starts with him asking what are our plans for today. A trip out, say, to the supermarket requires an agreed time for departure accompanied by him giving me a countdown of how much time we have left. Much agitation as the 'departure time' approaches. No matter where we are going, any trip, even to the local doctors - a few minutes walk away - requires endless going over the previous evening of what time to leave, what time to get up etc etc. And I thought it was just us....!!

 

[di65]

UPDATE - I had a chance to get out on my own this afternoon when I had a hair appointment. I took the opportunity to call into OH's GP. I thought that a personal visit to make the appt was better than a phone call. Unfortunately his GP is on holiday until next week. I could have seen another doctor, but I would prefer to see his regular one for obvious reasons. The receptionist has made an appt for me to see his GP on Monday afternoon - so hopefully I can let him see how things have deteriorated and how close to the end of my rope I have become.

Thank you all for your continued support, I will update again on Monday.

PS. Greylad, that radio station is only available in the vicinity of my mind - sorry - very short Shortwave

 

[Grey Lad]

UPDATE - I had a chance to get out on my own this afternoon when I had a hair appointment. I took the opportunity to call into OH's GP. I thought that a personal visit to make the appt was better than a phone call. Unfortunately his GP is on holiday until next week. I could have seen another doctor, but I would prefer to see his regular one for obvious reasons. The receptionist has made an appt for me to see his GP on Monday afternoon - so hopefully I can let him see how things have deteriorated and how close to the end of my rope I have become.

Thank you all for your continued support, I will update again on Monday.

PS. Greylad, that radio station is only available in the vicinity of my mind - sorry - very short Shortwave

What a shame I would be tuning in on a regular basis. I think you are right to wait to see usual G P if our experience yesterday is anything to go by: see today's post on 'Seeking Contentment' thread. YouTube is as good as it gets for my radio station listening to Willie Nelson always helps here.

 

[Lilac Blossom]

I would be tuning into that radio station regularly too, Greylad, most of us would I'm sure. Di65 - hope the GP appointment goes well.

 

[di65]

We had a completely new development this evening. Lex (OH) had just finished closing the driveway gate ( an evening ritual ) when he says "I suppose i should have left the gate open for Dad" His Dad passed away just over 9 years ago (AD too). "No, just leave it closed - he won't be back for a while yet" (I have been reading posts on TP about responses to this sort of question ) :OK, but Mum is out too, so I guess they are together". His Mum lives independently in a Retirement Village. Although this has all been handled without trauma, it just seems to be another step down the hill.
On another note, we took three of the grandies out for the day to the beach (it was about 30degC here today). We had a lovely time but my cellphone didn't. It got a bit wet. It is resting in a bowl of dry rice at the moment, hopefully it will be able to be resurrected. I can't live without it, so will be off to the Telecom shop asap in the morning if it still doesn't work

 

[optocarol]

We had a completely new development this evening. Lex (OH) had just finished closing the driveway gate ( an evening ritual ) when he says "I suppose i should have left the gate open for Dad" His Dad passed away just over 9 years ago (AD too). "No, just leave it closed - he won't be back for a while yet" (I have been reading posts on TP about responses to this sort of question ) :OK, but Mum is out too, so I guess they are together". His Mum lives independently in a Retirement Village. Although this has all been handled without trauma, it just seems to be another step down the hill.
On another note, we took three of the grandies out for the day to the beach (it was about 30degC here today). We had a lovely time but my cellphone didn't. It got a bit wet. It is resting in a bowl of dry rice at the moment, hopefully it will be able to be resurrected. I can't live without it, so will be off to the Telecom shop asap in the
morning if it still doesn't work

Doing well with the LWLs Di! TP is so helpful, I've found. I know what you mean about even though something has been handled, it's still ah-oh when some new thing happens.
Hope the phone recovers.
Bedtime for me.

 

[di65]

My phone was a terminal case I'm afraid

However - onwards and upwards. I have bought a new phone and am now in the process of learning how to 'drive' it

 

[Chuggalug]

Dear Hervieux,

Really appreciate what you did. Thanks so much. Back in harness again. Thanks so much for the comforting words. I don't say anything about what's happening here these days. I just haven't got it in me at present.

Got the bean bag I mentioned, and it makes a wonderful bed! Love sleeping on it when I get the chance. Gonna get another to replace sofa next month.

 

[Chuggalug]

Really feeling for you all. What a beautiful dog. Sorry about your cat, Chuggalug. It sounds cruel and forgive me because I am an animal lover and love my cat dearly, but would it might not be kinder to have it pts or would that upset your OH too much?

Sent from my GT-N5110

No Truth. It wouldn't. Even if I put him outside, hubby gets violent. I locked myself in my room one night last week, and there he was, other side of the door trying to beat it down.

Can't win with this.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

All so familiar, and there must be dozens and dozens of us all coping with the same relentless frustrations!

And just when I thought things couldn't be more trying, yesterday I was given some very upsetting family news, and I can't let my husband know because he would fret and fret and fret, and keep coming back to it....and that would be terribly upsetting for me every time...and I'm trying not to cry...

I want to revert to childhood, stamp my feet and shout " It's not fair!" Except stamping would hurt my poor old knees!

More patience please, whoever dispenses it...

 

[truth24]

So sorry to hear Chuggalug. You must be in a very bad place at the moment. You too Raggedy Anne. Thinking of you both.

Sent from my GT-N5110

 

[Lindy50]

So sorry to hear Chuggalug. You must be in a very bad place at the moment. You too Raggedy Anne. Thinking of you both.

Sent from my GT-N5110

Ditto xx

 

[Lindy50]

All so familiar, and there must be dozens and dozens of us all coping with the same relentless frustrations!

And just when I thought things couldn't be more trying, yesterday I was given some very upsetting family news, and I can't let my husband know because he would fret and fret and fret, and keep coming back to it....and that would be terribly upsetting for me every time...and I'm trying not to cry...

I want to revert to childhood, stamp my feet and shout " It's not fair!" Except stamping would hurt my poor old knees!

More patience please, whoever dispenses it...

Sending you (((hugs))) Rageddy ....I'm all out of patience, I'm afraid Take care of yourself

Lindy xx