How will you spend christmas?

[kayze]

Hi all,

I really don't know how christmas will be for our family this year.

My husband is at the later stage of dementia, he can no longer eat by himself, can no longer sit at the dining table, has his food pureed. I really feel like scrooge this year and feel like cancelling christmas. The only problem with that is I have three teenagers in the house who are already talking about the whole christmas festivities.

How will everyone else be celebrating christmas?

Kayze.

 

[Beate]

Very quietly. I will decorate the house and buy nice food in so we will have a few good dinners and spend our time watching TV. I don't mind that at all, it's preferable to some stressful situation with the whole family.

 

[Tin]

There will be a Christmas tree and cards around the place, but I will not be 'pushing the boat out' this year with food and drink. It will just be mum, me and the tv, maybe a little walk after lunch. I don't have children to worry about so this decision is very easy for me. I hope you find a resolution that will make everyone happy.

 

[Izzy]

I'm fortunate in that my husband can still sit at a table and use cutlery. We will be spending Christmas Eve with at my brother's in Cambuslang. We will all then go through to Livingston to my nephew's for Christmas Day. His children are teenagers and very aware of Bill's condition so the will be no noisy little ones around! We won't stay late and we'll spend that night back at Cambuslang. Probably home on Boxing Day or the next day. I will be armed with my usual large supplies of toilet stuff, Kylie sheets etc! I'm lucky that we have a small but very supportive family.

 

[jeany123]

We go to our youngest daughters for Christmas dinner, Allen prefers to sit by himself in the living room with a little table rather than sit with us in the dining room but he can feed himself,
He sits in the chair and watches our 5 year old grandson play with his presents, We are there about 5 hours then go home about 6 and he has a early night,

On Boxing day all of the family come for tea usually nearly 20 but as we live in a bungalow he can go into his bedroom and close the door if he has had enough or open it if he wants to watch, I usually take him a plate of food in and he eats it at his desk in the bedroom,
The grandchildren take turns visiting and talking to him, he soon tells them if they are too rowdy or he wants some peace they are all very good with him and answer his repetitive questions very patiently,
They all go about 8 so we can have some peace before we go to bed,

I don't know how many years we can do this but I intend to continue as long as we can,

 

[Ann Mac]

We've always had Mil come to us for Christmas - all but twice, in the 22 years we have been married, so in that respect, its the same as always . . .

But, looking back to last Christmas, the first after she moved in, I know the deterioration then made it seem like hard work, and she has got so much worse since However, she can still feed herself, and she sure enjoys her food and my kids are really good - they won't get upset if Nana has forgotten who they are, or that its Christmas, even - so even if it is hard work, I am going to just try and make it as 'normal' as possible, because I have no idea what the Christmas afterwards will bring - So that means everyone up at the crack of dawn to open pressies in their jammies, croissents and chocolate brioche for breakfast (along with the immeadiately opened selection boxes ), the dog going absolutely bonkers and his pressies having to be rationed out or he will open everyone elses, people snacking through the day on home made mince pies and Christmas cake, and a massive Christmas dinner, at around 4pm, with home made tiger bread and red onion stuffing, roasted leeks, pigs in blankets and turkey for the meat eaters, roasted sweet potatoes, ordinary spuds, carrots and parsnips, caullieflower and the obligatory sprouts (tossed in hot butter and black pepper!) - and believe it or not, Mil's absolute favourite - mushy peas (she always swore they were a traditional part of an Irish Xmas lunch). Then Christmas knickerbocker glory and trifle for pudding.

And then everyone snuggles down on the sofa to watch a film - and we all fall asleep!

I am absolutely determined that the kids and Mil and OH will enjoy a great Xmas, dementia or flipping not being added to the mix!

 

[loveahug]

I asked my brother to be at mum's this year, we have been there the last few years and I got very upset last year when mum showed little interest in opening her presents. Fortunately brother agreed to go this year so hubby and I are having a belated honey moon ( got married last year) by taking a crusie from Southampton up to Oslo for Xmas eve and then cruising back for Xmas day and Boxing day. I know it sounds very selfish but it's been a difficult year and next year is likely to be even more difficult so we're grabbing the chance while we can. To all you people who will undertake a huge amount of extra work on top of your caring role, or would love a break and won't get one, my sympathies and respect go out to you.

Hugs x

 

[cragmaid]

believe it or not, Mil's absolute favourite - mushy peas

...I believe it..I am positive that we ( when I was a child back in the mists of time) used to have what were called steepy peas), dried marrowfat peas that used to be steeped overnight with some magic tablet and then boiled in their own little net.
We used to have the full range of turkey, sausage, veg(...still hate sprouts now) and we would have Bread Sauce, Apple Sauce, Cranberry Sauce, Sage and Onion Stuffing, Sausage meat stuffing and gravy...oh and Chestnut Stuffing too!! How the hell didn't we burst?????

 

[Ann Mac]

...I believe it..I am positive that we ( when I was a child back in the mists of time) used to have what were called steepy peas), dried marrowfat peas that used to be steeped overnight with some magic tablet and then boiled in their own little net.
We used to have the full range of turkey, sausage, veg(...still hate sprouts now) and we would have Bread Sauce, Apple Sauce, Cranberry Sauce, Sage and Onion Stuffing, Sausage meat stuffing and gravy...oh and Chestnut Stuffing too!! How the hell didn't we burst?????

And those are the very ones she loves, lol! No longer come with the net, but steeped in boiling water, with the white round tablet, then rinsed and boiled till they are literally 'mush' - she calls them 'sloppy peas' - and actually, I don't mind the taste of them myself - but oh, how I hate cleaning the pan they are cooked in

 

[loveahug]

I've changed my mind about the cruise, can we invite ourselves to AnnMac's please

 

[thebes]

As my frail OH has difficulty with eating and on his bad days spits food out only to re-eat it , I now avoid big meals as a form of celebration! So Christmas this year we will be having lots of lovely Christmas teas - the family are - thank heavens - supportive and quite see that these will be more fun for all. We will keep it short when visiting and return home to cosy up and enjoy a lazy evening at home.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

This year one of our daughters in law says she'ill cook Christmas lunch at our house, so we wont need to lift a finger. And on Boxing Day we're going to treat them to a lovely Cotswold pub for lunch. We know they'd rather be somewhere much more exciting, so we really appreciate what they've chosen to do. But next year, who knows?

My husband still loves us putting up at least two trees and all the old decorations....and while he can still feel as though he's doing it, that's perfect. But I'll keep him away from untangling the tree lights!

 

[malc]

only the four of us for dinner,me,Denise and the 2 kids left at home,so roast pork for dinner and then my other daughter,partner and grandaughter here for tea,the day will start with presents,then dinner,top of the pops,a few whiskies and then tea,after that we will moan how rubbish the tv is christmas day night(as always,family tradition)then put the music channels back on.

 

[cragmaid]

OH is delighted that it might just be the two of us( )......he loves sprouts and hates turkey....no point in turkey for two.

Last year I was wracked with guilt because I left Mum at the CH although I visited twice...this year, I might still visit twice but sans guilt! If her GP has it right, Mum might not even be with us by then....so no plans at all.

 

[Spamar]

When I was a kid we did the whole thing, including the mushy peas , Ann and cragmaid, just love them! We had most of mothers family around, so up to 20. Boxing Day, down to an aunts, same people and do the whole thing again!!
This year, just us, light meal, and I'm guessing, OH will be in bed by 15:00. We will see the kids, date yet to be decided. It will be up here these year, but stepdaughter will do more than her share of the cooking. ( I have arthritis and can't stay on my feet very long).
But, as you say, what will happen by Christmas 2015?

 

[Chuggalug]

Hi all,

I really don't know how christmas will be for our family this year.

My husband is at the later stage of dementia, he can no longer eat by himself, can no longer sit at the dining table, has his food pureed. I really feel like scrooge this year and feel like cancelling christmas. The only problem with that is I have three teenagers in the house who are already talking about the whole christmas festivities.

How will everyone else be celebrating christmas?

Kayze.

I'm always alone with hubby. He's never liked birthdays or Christmas. Ever! Last year, I bought a couple of Christmas albums and cooked fish. Probably a similar story this year, although, haven't a clue, yet, about the grub!

Long as we're warm, we'll be all right. Hope for the same for you

 

[LYN T]

Last year I spent 7 hours in Pete's CH. I will be doing the same again this year if P's still with us. Last year it was very jolly and I started a bit of a singsong. A wonderful Xmas lunch was cooked (I was invited). This year I'm putting together a massive pass the parcel with something small for each resident.(only 15 of them) Last Xmas Pete could sit at the main table but he can't now, so I expect we will be away from the main event. I just want to be with him though.

May all your Christmas days be peaceful

Lyn T

 

[kayze]

Thank you all for sharing what you will be doing at christmas.

I'm hoping the few days will be as stress free as possible.
Cragmaid I have never heard of steepy peas, I will ask my mum about it.
I just find it very sad my husband cannot be the one who puts up the christmas tree and decorations like he did every year, he used to make christmas so special for our girls and I'm surprised how much I miss that.

LYNT I hope you enjoy the fun and games at the CH, the residents will surely enjoy your pass the parcel, I used to love that game as a child. I will be thinking of you and Pete.

Hope all of you have a calm and peaceful christmas.

Kayze.

 

[jeany123]

Oh we used to call them steepy peas as well, I wonder if it's a northern thing,
This just reminded me of carlin peas we used to have on Carlin Sunday the Sunday before Palm Sunday, they were similar to steepy peas but black and didn't go as mushy,
We used to have them with vinegar and salt on, I can still remember the taste now, I have never heard of them for years, Can anyone else remember them or have even heard of them?

Sorry Kayze to change the subject I just suddenly thought of them,

 

[PeggySmith]

Jeany, somebody on another forum mentioned "black peas" recently so, when you did as well, I was intrigued as I've never heard of them before. I'll have to try them now:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_peas