I need advise please

[bessiewick]

We have recently moved my mother & father to a new flat to be hearer to us re care. Unfortunatly my mother seems worse than before. She still has all her own things around her but is convinced they are not hers, she has forgotten how to turn on the microwave although its the same one she has had for years. When we got there at 6 this evening shae was wandering around the kitchen in tears saying she couldnt remember how to use it so they hadnt eaten as the meal we had left plated for her to warm hadnt been done. We asked why she hadnt telphoned us & she said she couldnt remember how to use the memory in the phone. I am hoping that this a temp thing, they have only been in the new flat a week. Does anyone have the same experience.Please

 

[drummergirl]

I had exactly the same thing with my mum. We moved her to a flat next door to me and set it out exactly like the place she was in before, with all her own stuff. She spent about a month turning up at my door at night time in tears and refusing to use things because they weren't hers (even though they were). It did gradually improve and she became more settled after a while. I hope your mum does too.

drummergirl x

 

[Sue J]

We have recently moved my mother & father to a new flat to be hearer to us re care. Unfortunatly my mother seems worse than before. She still has all her own things around her but is convinced they are not hers, she has forgotten how to turn on the microwave although its the same one she has had for years. When we got there at 6 this evening shae was wandering around the kitchen in tears saying she couldnt remember how to use it so they hadnt eaten as the meal we had left plated for her to warm hadnt been done. We asked why she hadnt telphoned us & she said she couldnt remember how to use the memory in the phone. I am hoping that this a temp thing, they have only been in the new flat a week. Does anyone have the same experience.Please

Hi Besswick,

A week is no time at all to allow her to settle. I would go as much as poss whilst she settles and do things with her to help her get used to everything. Talk about the placing of things e.g phone 'is this a good place for it ?' etc to try and help her to think, if she can about where things live. Give lots of reassurance that she'll get used to it in time. Moving is a big upheaval for anyone but much harder for dementia sufferers.
Hope it helps
Best wishes
Sue

 

[Tin]

When mum moved in with me she brought a few electricals with her: kettle, microwave, iron and telephone. The fact that they were here in my house upset her so much and could not understand why they were here and she suddenly couldn't use them. Slowly she has got use to the iron and kettle, with the telephone instead of relying on its memory chip, I wrote down all the important telephone numbers and left them by the phone, she never really got the hang of the microwave again and anyway it has now been replaced with a new one, mum left a metal spoon in the old one and then switched it on!!!!!!

 

[bessiewick]

When mum moved in with me she brought a few electricals with her: kettle, microwave, iron and telephone. The fact that they were here in my house upset her so much and could not understand why they were here and she suddenly couldn't use them. Slowly she has got use to the iron and kettle, with the telephone instead of relying on its memory chip, I wrote down all the important telephone numbers and left them by the phone, she never really got the hang of the microwave again and anyway it has now been replaced with a new one, mum left a metal spoon in the old one and then switched it on!!!!!!

Thanks for the feedback its nice to talk with people that understand. We have got out her old phone book with all the numbers she needs, lets see if that works

 

[bessiewick]

Hi Besswick,

A week is no time at all to allow her to settle. I would go as much as poss whilst she settles and do things with her to help her get used to everything. Talk about the placing of things e.g phone 'is this a good place for it ?' etc to try and help her to think, if she can about where things live. Give lots of reassurance that she'll get used to it in time. Moving is a big upheaval for anyone but much harder for dementia sufferers.
Hope it helps
Best wishes
Sue

Thanks for the reply I will take on board what you have said, its hard because I feel to blame for moving them although in the long run it will be better.

 

[bessiewick]

I had exactly the same thing with my mum. We moved her to a flat next door to me and set it out exactly like the place she was in before, with all her own stuff. She spent about a month turning up at my door at night time in tears and refusing to use things because they weren't hers (even though they were). It did gradually improve and she became more settled after a while. I hope your mum does too.

drummergirl x

Thanks for that it gives me some hope

 

[cheeky1]

It may be a turn down in her dementia my dad can no longer use the microwave phone tv remote he very occasionally now makes himself a cup of tea and even forgets where the toilet is in his small flat.Dont blame yourself you are doing the best you can.

 

[Sue J]

Thanks for the reply I will take on board what you have said, its hard because I feel to blame for moving them although in the long run it will be better.

You mustn't feel to blame I'm sure you've done the right thing further along the line would probably not have worked. Hope things pick up