Dad was in hospital for 3 weeks, came home for 1 week and is back in again. The first time, he had a kidney infection. When he came home, he was much more confused and didn't want to do anything. My sister, who lives next door and is his carer, has decided she can't care for him any more. My other sister and I both agree he needs to be in a care home now. The problem is that they don't want my brother to be told until my dad is actually in the home.
My brother has never been very good at visiting dad and hasn't really helped very much doing things for him such as the gardening etc. We have also found that when told dad is in hospital, he keeps phoning the hospital to see how dad is when we've all been asked that only one person phones or he'll try to take over decisions which we should all be making. My sisters also feel he only visited dad when he needed to borrow money. So neither of my sisters talk to him any more at all.
On the other hand, we all had a meeting a while back and all agreed that myself and the sister who is caring for dad would have POA as long as dad agreed. Last year when I brought the subject up, my sisters told me they had already arranged it. Dad also had a few thousand pounds in the bank. All that disappeared within a year and dad is in arrears on his bills despite enough money going in to his account to pay his bills. I have also just found out, they have both been talking with the social worker to arrange for dad to go in to a care home. I wasn't told about this. They have asked me if I am in agreement but asked me not to tell my brother as they feel he will try to stop it or say that my sister just wants rid of dad.
Can I please ask what you would do? If I tell my brother, my sisters probably won't talk to me any more. If I don't tell my brother, he probably won't talk to me. Either way, I lose.
My brother has never been very good at visiting dad and hasn't really helped very much doing things for him such as the gardening etc. We have also found that when told dad is in hospital, he keeps phoning the hospital to see how dad is when we've all been asked that only one person phones or he'll try to take over decisions which we should all be making. My sisters also feel he only visited dad when he needed to borrow money. So neither of my sisters talk to him any more at all.
On the other hand, we all had a meeting a while back and all agreed that myself and the sister who is caring for dad would have POA as long as dad agreed. Last year when I brought the subject up, my sisters told me they had already arranged it. Dad also had a few thousand pounds in the bank. All that disappeared within a year and dad is in arrears on his bills despite enough money going in to his account to pay his bills. I have also just found out, they have both been talking with the social worker to arrange for dad to go in to a care home. I wasn't told about this. They have asked me if I am in agreement but asked me not to tell my brother as they feel he will try to stop it or say that my sister just wants rid of dad.
Can I please ask what you would do? If I tell my brother, my sisters probably won't talk to me any more. If I don't tell my brother, he probably won't talk to me. Either way, I lose.
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