Weekly ramblings of a proud son.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
82,698
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Kent
I love reading your posts @LPT. They are positive and chatty and I think everyone would appreciate someone who is so able to repair and sort everything that goes wrong.
 

LPT

Registered User
Feb 3, 2024
20
0
@Grannie G
Thank you! I struggle a little with my spelling and grammar. Typing messages here helps me stay positive. It all too easy to get caught in a negative and moaning mindset... But we only get one go at all of this so we may as well do it with a Smile!
 

LPT

Registered User
Feb 3, 2024
20
0
Even if they put it wrong in the first place?
Heyyyyy thats not fair! 😆 I didn't exactly put it wrong I was trying to replace a tap that had been some kind of solvent welded to the basin. with a more suitable tap for my PWD... if it was a more respectable time of the day to be DIYing I would have had it completed just fine!
 

LPT

Registered User
Feb 3, 2024
20
0
Ah jees, struggling today... I took yesterday off work to replace the kitchen sink taps.... After dad flooded the bathroom I figured I'd do the kitchen too.. makes sense right?!!?

I also got his weekly shop

Tried to collect his medication but it wasn't ready so had to be collected by my most supportive of a girl friend today on push bike may I add...

I've taken time off work and changed the locks on the front door, recently demolished and got rid of dad's bath and installed a full shower unit..

Feel I've been having a bit of a time lately and its taking it toll on me and everyone around me!.. anyway! My sister phoned dad randomly after around three weeks of absence and announced that she was taking him for lunch (directly to him with dementia)

I Allready had his lunch prepared and was around the flat all day with dad doing all the aforementioned tasks!... Him included!!

She asked dad to bring the blue badge down with him, I was currently using said blue badge for my van to enable me to do all the tasks I have been doing for months.... I said no, unfortunately not I'm using it at the moment...

Nothing else was said and then I revived this text today. .

....
"FYI.
Dad almost passed out yesterday after having to walk longer than necessary because you had his blue badge in your van."
.................,............... .

After not even speaking with him for weeks... To turn up unannounced.. and then send that next day and everything I've been doing lately .. I'll add here! she moved out of here because she couldn't handle it... I moved in at he drop of a hat... Im still paying a mortgage on my house i dont get to live in... Pfft. Yea she really got under my skin today!!!


Anyways! sorry for the rant... Dad is actually doing amazing and it's a true blessing to see the delight on his face with what little he has left!! Something a simple at a plane in the sky.. or a random encounter with someone in the lift if enough to make him chirpy thesedays!!.

Peace out,
A very grumpy LPT
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
82,698
0
Kent
👋 👋 👋 👋 👋. I salute you @LPT

Your sister will have much in common with many of this community`s siblings
 

My Mum's Daughter

Registered User
Feb 8, 2020
773
0
She asked dad to bring the blue badge down with him, I was currently using said blue badge for my van to enable me to do all the tasks I have been doing for months.... I said no, unfortunately not I'm using it at the moment...
In order to use a blue badge, the holder needs to be in the car or being collected. Using your Dad's badge to complete tasks, is misuse which is a criminal offence and could face a fine of up to £1,000. You should have given your sister the badge and found a legal way of parking your van.

 

LPT

Registered User
Feb 3, 2024
20
0
In order to use a blue badge, the holder needs to be in the car or being collected. Using your Dad's badge to complete tasks, is misuse which is a criminal offence and could face a fine of up to £1,000. You should have given your sister the badge and found a legal way of parking your van.

All of the tasks included collecting/dropping dad off. He comes with me everywhere.

I was using the badge perfectly legally.

Cheers
LPT
 

LPT

Registered User
Feb 3, 2024
20
0
Hey guys!!!!

Only me again. I had 4 days respite last week and it's made me realise how big all this feels. I felt lethargic and lazy and pretty down. And that unlike me!
But hey ho back battling on now and feeling ok about it all again! Took dad to my house for a father's dad BBQ and it was very enjoyable we are all very lucky in the sense that so far dad's dementia has actually made him far more cheery and amenable.. he's still a grumpy old fart but more of a happy grumpy old fart thesedays...any way I digress!!

I'm actually after a little bit of advise if possible please!

Dad has this stubborn cough, it's chesty and horrible, it sounds productive but he never really brings anything up I'm in talk with his doctors and drug specialists tweaking medication etc... but he's currently cannot lay flat and is sleeping really really badly. He coughs untill he chokes then gets panicked because he cannot get his breath..

He's got a fancy bed that the top and bottom move up and down I've played with that lots and got him pretty upright. But he's not comfortable for very long... I've just walked in to check on him before I go to sleep and he was sat slumped sat on the edge of his bed sleeping.. when I woke him he just said it's the only way he can get comfy... :(

So do you wonderful lot have any suggestions for some remedies or things we can try to get him comfortable to sleep... He's getting very very little sleep and what he is getting is disrupted constantly..

Any suggestions welcome 🤗 thanks you!!

LPT
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
4,321
0
Kent
Hey guys!!!!

Only me again. I had 4 days respite last week and it's made me realise how big all this feels. I felt lethargic and lazy and pretty down. And that unlike me!
But hey ho back battling on now and feeling ok about it all again! Took dad to my house for a father's dad BBQ and it was very enjoyable we are all very lucky in the sense that so far dad's dementia has actually made him far more cheery and amenable.. he's still a grumpy old fart but more of a happy grumpy old fart thesedays...any way I digress!!

I'm actually after a little bit of advise if possible please!

Dad has this stubborn cough, it's chesty and horrible, it sounds productive but he never really brings anything up I'm in talk with his doctors and drug specialists tweaking medication etc... but he's currently cannot lay flat and is sleeping really really badly. He coughs untill he chokes then gets panicked because he cannot get his breath..

He's got a fancy bed that the top and bottom move up and down I've played with that lots and got him pretty upright. But he's not comfortable for very long... I've just walked in to check on him before I go to sleep and he was sat slumped sat on the edge of his bed sleeping.. when I woke him he just said it's the only way he can get comfy... :(

So do you wonderful lot have any suggestions for some remedies or things we can try to get him comfortable to sleep... He's getting very very little sleep and what he is getting is disrupted constantly..

Any suggestions welcome 🤗 thanks you!!

LPT
Hi @LPT
I'm sorry I've got no magic wand solution for your dad's cough.
You will have to speak with your dad's GP or a local pharmacist.
It may depend on any medications your dad is on.
For example, one of my friends has recently been complaining about being short of breath. Went to Dr who sent him to local hospital by referral to the Cardiology Dept to check lungs (chest x-ray) and heart (electro cardiogram). They worked out friend had "heart failure" - which doesn't mean heart stopped, but means heart is less efficient than it should be. 3 different meds prescribed - and as you know each box of pills comes with a sheet of paper explaining about the drug, and common or rare side effects. Well 2 of the meds in question say that a cough is a common (1 in 10) side effect. Friend developed a tickly persistent and v irritating cough. He had a follow up appointment with the cardiologist and mentioned about the cough. Result was that Dr changed the prescription. The 2 new prescribed drugs - one changed and now no cough; the 2nd med changed still says cough is a common side effect, and friend has a lesser, but more importantly, only an intermittent cough.
Sorry about going on so long.
However, similar - that is because of meds - might apply to your dad. Worth getting things rechecked, especially if causing lack of sleep. Nobody can go on with lack of sleep, as there be other consequences.
Best wishes
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,690
0
Hi @LPT my dad always had a tot of whisky before bed and he slept like a log, I had an even bigger tot because I didn't sleep so well, would this be okay with your dad's medication and I am not sure that it would be advisable while he has the cough but maybe once that has cleared up.

I have just read your posts and your dad sounds just like my dad, funny, witty, kind, lovely and good company but it does become wearing when caring 24/7 as you are finding out, you are keeping your good humour which is good but do take care of yourself as well or you could find yourself worn down. I started like you as a part-time carer before moving in 24/7 after dad had a spell in hospital that caused a decline and he was unable to live alone anymore.

Dad had a school friend called Albert, they started school together, dodging bombs to get there and remained friends until dad died aged 89 Albert was still cutting dad's grass and trimming the hedge even then because dad couldn't manage it anymore. True friends and Albert is now 94 and another lovely man.

As for your sister, her behaviour is not helpful but this is not uncommon, I had a largely invisible brother who was always too busy to help or too self-important in my opinion. I don't see him anymore and I have come to realise that it's no loss to me (it took a while but I am quite happy without him)

You are doing really well but do make sure that you get the odd break because caring can take it's toll on your health.
 

LPT

Registered User
Feb 3, 2024
20
0
Hiiiii here for an update and a moan...


Everything is going rather smoothly lately. In a wonderful routine with dad! I've recently noticed he dosent check the bottom two draws in the fridge, so I can use them to "hide" and then ration all the nice little snacks bits I buy him for the week. As recently he's been just eating a week's shop in a few days...


One thing that actually really makes me smile is one of his "loops" he repeats 20/30 times a day is that he he's completely lost his appetite and doesn't eat much at all these days.. he remembers his mother trying to get his nan to eat and she wouldn't eat at all!!.... However its fair to say my dad still has and allways has had a fantastic appetite ha!!


He's doing great he's says he feels a little lonely at times but when I explain that there isn't much we can do for that apart from a retirement home. He's is adamant that he's happy where he is, his mate picks him up up at 1700 Wednesday's and 1630 on Saturdays.. every single week without fail and if he cannot make it his friend messages me so I can remind dad. I cannot explain to you how touching it is to see there friendship at 77 years old most of my dad's mates are passed but good old ron sticking by him through thick and thin! That's what life is about!!!


Now for the moan :/ I've tried to keep quite about this side of things as it's a little negative but it's really getting under my skin now.


It's my sister, she was living with my dad out of necessity for a year or from just before he got diagnosed and for around 10 months after.

During this time I used to sleep on the sofa most weekends and whenever she asked but was at least 2/3 times a week.


she moved out because of a lot of reasons but the mains things that caused friction where;


Me repeatly asking for receipts to be kept for shopping she was doing. The shopping bills were astronomical (£200+ each week) for a single man and there were never any receipts.

Money was going missing in cash and generally dad was spending a lot a lot more than normal. He would miss his meds two three even 4 days in a row the list is endless but we fell out time and time again.


Eventually she moved out and Ive moved in we were supposed to be doing 50/50... I have a high mortgage on my own places with a beautiful girlfriend if 12 years and Ive dropped everything to care for my dad... I want to. he was a good dad and I will do my absolute best by him.


But as expected 50/50 was fansty and it's me doing absolutely everything.. and I need a break.. but she has absolutely every excuse under the sun as to why she can't help. It's an endless line of rubbish.. the latest one is she won't come to dad's flat with out access to the ring doorbell camera, that I only installed from her request becos money was going missing!


I actually paid for the doorbell and the subscription because dad refused as he didn't think he needed it..... I've asked for half of this cost if she wants access, it's not even for the money it's out of principle. But nope she won't contribute and she won't come round untill she has access... So ok... I give her access let's see how long it is before the next excuse I give it a week at best.



Lastly some how she is the victim in all of this.. She has gone round my entire family claiming I'm the baddy and shes suffered so much.. personally I think dad is the only victim and I will do my absolute best to make sure he is safe and comfortable regardless of what sacrifice I have to make...



Sorry for the negative side.... It's a rant.. appoligies for spelling and grammar errors I struggle with reading and writing a little!!


LPT


ps


Almost forgot.


I "booked" the first week in August off with her a year ago as my friend is getting married in Spain and I've been invited.... She is now saying she won't be able to help dad for that week unless I give her access to the camera..... Obviously I'll give her access but half of me is tempted to call her bluff.. she would probably leave dad alone for that entire week..
 

SkyeD

Registered User
Oct 3, 2022
259
0
Hi there @LPT I've just read through your thread. You are doing an amazing job looking after your dad, even with hostility from your sister. I hope you have a great time on your holiday / friend's wedding. Let's hope that your sister does what she says she'll do :)
Take care,
S x
 

LPT

Registered User
Feb 3, 2024
20
0
Hi there @LPT I've just read through your thread. You are doing an amazing job looking after your dad, even with hostility from your sister. I hope you have a great time on your holiday / friend's wedding. Let's hope that your sister does what she says she'll do :)
Take care,
S x
Thanks :)

I don't post too often just some times typing stuff out helps keep everything in perspective. It's not that bad you know!?!

Dad is still washing him self and even does some house hold chores.. he really enjoys washing.. he often washes clean clothes! Ha!! Anything to keep him occupied. Cheers
LPT
 

SkyeD

Registered User
Oct 3, 2022
259
0
My mum was the same with handwashing - I lost count of the number of times that I found washed clothes in her kitchen bowl, most of them were clean clothes - mounds of them! Unfortunately she didn't have the strength to wring them out, nor the mobility to hang them out, and, bless her, she'd totally forgotten how to use the washing machine and dryer. I sorted them out, then found the sink filled with the same things again the next day, and the next, and so on.

Glad to hear that you're okay :)