Hello I’m new


New member
Jul 16, 2023
Hi I don’t normally use forums like this so please excuse me for either over or under sharing! My parents came to live with me in the UK from South Africa just before Christmas last year, and I hadn’t physically seen them for 5 years due to covid. On day ONE, my dad woke up from a snooze on the couch, looked at me and said “we know each other don’t we? My name is …”. And then he stretched out his hand for a handshake. As an occupational therapist, my alarm bells clanged quite loudly and 6 months later we are still awaiting a diagnosis. We’re a big family with 5 children, 3 of whom are still at home so my poor dad has moved into a house where he is now 1 of 7. He’s had a brain scan but there’s a 6-month wait for it to be reviewed by the consultant. I’m convinced he has Alzheimers. My biggest worry at the moment is incontinence. He wets the bed a lot and can’t get his head around how to put on a pad, and seems to have little to no control over his bladder. It just starts to flow wherever he is. I’ve been trying to increase his independence and take the strain off my
Mum but feel I’m losing the battle. My occupational therapy background is not in physical health but in autism and learning disabilities, so please don’t assume I know anything! My mum just rolls her eyes and keeps washing his clothing and bedding. I used to use really thick Kylies for my son who is disabled but can’t find them anymore. Does anyone know where to get a good, thick one that doesn’t need to be tucked in with those flappy bits? thanks so much!


Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
Welcome from me too @Sylthebrill

I also used the stick on pads in the link by @Grannie G for my dad. I’d use one in addition to the kylie and, on a good night, I’d just have to change the disposable pad although he often got the kylie too.

My dad also struggled with pads so I bought him pull-ups which he found much easier to manage. I got these from I Incontinence Choice as well. They were discreetly delivered with only the word “Choice” on the box.