Preventing Unwelcome doorstep callers?

[Tolkny]

Sorry if this topic has been tackled before.

If it has please give me a link to that discussion I am a very occasional poster here, this maybe my first.

Mother in law lives independently but has significant Dementia and cannot cope with anything unfamiliar. She also looks normal, so people on first meeting her, are thrown by fact that her conversation is often nonsense.

One particular company just wont stop leaving catalogues and later attempting to call for them. I have done everything legal possible to stop the callers, I can think of, spoken to distributors and called the supervising office several times but still the catalogues come.

Also I am wary of giving too much info away as she is very vulnerable and a potential walk in crime victim (fortunately such crimes are rare in her area)

With elections coming up, we can expect many more unsolicited callers. Do you have any relevant suggestions at management, please?

Is the Society speaking directly to Political Parties to alert them to the difficulties there canvassing WILL cause if canvassers are unaware of how to recognise and speak to a person with dementia?

[FifiMo]

I have been a long time lurker on this forum and this is my first post.

I would also be interested in any suggestions in this regard. My mother recently paid £4200 having been convinced by a cold caller to her house that she needed work done on her roof. We have taken this up with the Head Office of the company involved and were told that she signed the Contract and agreed that the work had been done and signed for it and had passed over payment. The work wasn't carried out in accordance with their schedule but she had in fact signed their forms and passed over the money. We however will have to pay more money to have the shoddy work corrected now. Then, a couple of weeks ago, they came and pinned this HUGE advertising notice on her garden fence saying she agreed at the time that they can do this. Needless to say it didn't stay there long!

She has also passed over her bank details to companies cold calling on the phone and we have had to untangle those messes also for her.

Unfortunately she cannot remember what she has agreed to or signed so that doesn't help either.

On the one hand it is important to her to retain control of her money but equally, we do not want her to be exploited by less than ethical companies, particularly if they notice that she is not fully comprehending things when they talk to her!

Kind regards

Fiona

[Tony]

Hi Tolkny Interesting thread if I can take up the bit you say ((. She also looks normal )) yesterday I had to phone a credit card company to cancel lost cards when I say lost prior to going away on holiday I hid them away to keep them safe unfortunately after 3 weeks still haven’t found them hence my reason for phoning credit card company the person I dealt with was very nice at the end of the conversation she said your new will be sent at that point I said please didn’t send new cards and that I suffered with Alzheimer’s she said but YOU SOUND QUITE NORMAL she then said I understand but it maybe to late to stop the cards but I will try

[Tolkny]

Let's hope someone with experience of legal position will comment and also that Society will do a press release on it at start of real election campaign.

I have just noticed on a slip from catalogue company the comment OFT approved code, which I think relates to the Office of Fair Trading, a statutory body, so I plan to check them out.

Meanwhile thanks to the repliers, I am not alone in having this difficulty.

[Tolkny]

have information, although I have not found anything specific for dementia.

http://www.oft.gov.uk/news/campaigns/doorstep/#named4

I want a downloadable notice I can stick in my mother in laws porch, similar to the ones provided by police a year or so ago that she removed, in the way only a dementia sufferer will!!!

[Resigned]

Dear FifiMo

I'm sorry to hear that your mother has been co-erced into having work done on her house and paying for it. My mother was also at risk of this sort of thing but as she had already lost a fair amount of money in the house and was continually taking money out of her account (she took out £5k to tide her over the weekend, then lost it in the house), we eventually removed her cards and cheque book and took over all her financial affairs. She got a bit upset at the time when she found she had no money (we gave her pocket money but it continually disappeared) but less than a year later, she never mentions it. We were all so relieved that her savings were secure, it really is a worry as people with dementia lose all sense of the worth of money.

[julieann15]

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?t=18546

I too had problems- only really resolved when mum went into a care home sad to say

Love Julie xx

[FifiMo]

Resigned

We were in the process of trying to arrange POA (my mother lives in Scotland) but this has all been undone after a stay in hospital. The hospital Dr wanted his bed back - decreed that she had mental capacity to return home to her own home (despite her thinking she lived in a church and him having decided just 2 weeks earlier that 24 hr residential care was the only option available to us) and on holding discussions with my mother, wound her up to the point that she decreed that none of her family (myself or my 2 sisters) were to be consulted either about her welfare or her finances. As this helped the Dr get her out of the hospital and get his bed back he then advised us that, on talking to my mother, POA wouldn't appear to be an option for us - with a kind of sinister undertone that if she did grant it, it could be considered that she had been co-erced! We have pointed out her vulnerabilities to the powers that be and their response is - she is entited to make choices and as with any adult - there are risks and consequences associated with the choices we make - why should she be any different, he said!

As you will understand, this is just the tip of the iceberg so far as my mother's dementia is concerned and is the reason why I haven't posted about her situation before, it would be a considerably long post! Her family in the meantime are at a loss as to who to turn to in order for her to be properly assessed/dignosed/provided for. All of this is exaccerbated by the fact that her family all live south of the border so are having to deal with everything at a distance.

Thanks for your suggestions though...I will share them with my sisters and see if this is something we could arrange without upsetting anyone.

Kind regards

Fiona

[imac.girll1]

Hello Fiona,

Have you got a Social Worker assigned to you and an assesment done? If not this is important. A visit to the GP to organise a MMSE test with the local CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) and a meeting with a dementia specialist. All of this is important to get any ball rolling, and if you are not in receipt of any of the above help this is crucial.

Your local Carers society maybe able to help you with how to go about a POA, although under the circumstances, your mum may be to far to acknowledge what is happening there, but there are other ways to get round this if need be.

All this must be in place before you can do much else and a proper diagnosis, not by some hospital doctor but a proper consultant on the subject is required.

I urge you to do this ASAP.

Good luck

[carolsea]

Hi Fiona
Sorry to hear you are having all these problems, unfortunately it doesn't seem at all unusual for the medical profession to say and do whatever is most fitting for their 'targets' rather than what is best for the patient.
Your situation sounds very similar to my own, with my Mum. If you need to talk anytime, I'd be more than happy to listen.You can PM me if you wish. Don't think you can't ramble on here, nobody seems to mind a bit....I've done my fair share in the last few weeks and just writing it all down seems to help somehow.
Best wishes
Carol

[Tolkny]

Originally Posted by FifiMo

Resigned

We were in the process of trying to arrange POA (my mother lives in Scotland) but this has all been undone after a stay in hospital. The hospital Dr wanted his bed back - decreed that she had mental capacity to return home to her own home (despite her thinking she lived in a church and him having decided just 2 weeks earlier that 24 hr residential care was the only option available to us) and on holding discussions with my mother, wound her up to the point that she decreed that none of her family (myself or my 2 sisters) were to be consulted either about her welfare or her finances.
Thanks for your suggestions though...I will share them with my sisters and see if this is something we could arrange without upsetting anyone.

This sounds really tough. Sometimes Upset cannot be avoided on the way to getting the best solution to a problem.

I presume by POA, it is meant Power of Attorney - a legal step, so solicitors can help it is also possible to get advise direct from Office of the Public Guardian and/or The Court of Protection, the people who oversee the POA situation. http://www.publicguardian.gov.uk/abo...protection.htm

The local Carers society sounds a good idea but first it might be worth talking with the Alzheimers Society Helpline, that is what they are for! http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/helpline TEL: 0845 300 0336. With my mother in law we know she is not going to give verbal assent to some of our actions , she is frightened and has almost no insight into her condition, so we have take the steps we think are in her best interest, it is tough but the other agencies like those mentioned are available to back us up.

[Amber 5]

Hi,
Interesting that the hospital Dr thought your mum had the mental capacity to return to her own home, but not to organise the POA.

If she can understand with someone explaining it to her and you have a Certificate Provider ie (GP) who certifies that she is capable of understanding, then you may still be able to set up the LPAs asap!

We did this for my mum and her GP was more than happy to help as he could see it was a good idea to get it sorted as soon as possible.

Hope it all works out ok for you.
love Gill x

[Tolkny]

What is an LPA please?

[PollyB]

LPA - lasting power of attorney. I have just sent all the forms to the Office of the Public Guardian for my Mum. It has taken some time but I hope I have completed them correctly. A solicitor quoted nearly £1000 to do it. The forms can be downloaded from the internet and the OPG are very helful. It means I can officially take care of Mum's finances and welfare.

Polly

[Tolkny]

Originally Posted by PollyB

LPA - lasting power of attorney. I have just sent all the forms to the Office of the Public Guardian for my Mum. It has taken some time but I hope I have completed them correctly. A solicitor quoted nearly £1000 to do it. The forms can be downloaded from the internet and the OPG are very helful. It means I can officially take care of Mum's finances and welfare.

Polly

Thanks we just got in under the old system and have an Enduring Power of Attorney which cost us nothing apart from paper and posting and time and the nominal fees. We even had to seek out 3 nephews because she has such a small family otherwise. We also had a couple of helpful calls with the Office of The Public Guardian folks.