other help out there

[kelly50]

Hi all,
I have been using talking point due to concerns about my fathers dementia.
Since being given a formal diagnosis in Ssptember he now gets a consultant who visits once a month and prescribes drugs,a CPN and a social worker.
Between them they have not been much use, the drugs(one for Alzheimers and one for depression) have made no difference, if anything he seems worse. The social worker doesn't visit and the CPN just suggests day centres that my father won't visit.
Does anybody know of any private help we can get?
Any type of cognitive therapy either on NHS or that has to be paid for? Where do we look? Who do we ask?
Instead of just drugs,drugs and more drugs we would like to be able to offer my father a way through and begin to enjoy life just a little bit.
He won't talk to friends and relatives much as he is so ashamed
and also very depressed. Every day is the same.
Any suggestion gratefully received!
Kelly.

[Vonny]

Hi Kelly,

You may want to take a look at this site

http://www.cstdementia.com/index.php

I don't know if there is any group close enough to you but it's worth a look. It states that NICE guidelines say it is for people who score over 20 on the MMSE test.

I will have a look and see what else I can find later but have got to dash now to go see dad!

Vonny xx

[Sandy]

Hi Kelly,

You might also want to look at this Alzheimer's Society factsheet on Counseling:

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/factsheet/445

Take care,

[Bristolbelle]

I just wonder if you are opposed to drugs in general, just a feeling I got. Only there are several kinds that treat dementia in different ways and while one may not be of benefit anpther might? You've actually done very well to get a CPN, consultant and social worker since September even if you do not feel they are much help.
With rgard to day centres a LOT of sufferers are very reluctanct to attend, but many offer a gentle introduction where you can go along to for a cup of tea and a chat and a "look around". You can then go again, or aybe take your Dad and leave him for a short while while you go shopping or thwtever, building up until he stays for lunch, a morning and lunch, and eventually a full day. So often people think it is all or nothing with day centres but they are amazingly understanding and supportive of both the sufferer and carer, and very experienced in meeting reluctance form the user. No one could have been more "anti" than my Mum, who although sympathising with "them" had no intention of joining. Now she loves all her day centres and becomes quite upset when she can not go.
Good luck.

[Grannie G]

Your father`s behaviour sounds very much like that of my husband in the early months following diagnosis.

It is a shocking and frightening diagnosis and I would expect anyone trying to come to terms with it to be depressed.

The consultant is obviously doing everything possible. Monthly visits by consultants are thin on the ground. There is no magic wand with drug treatment and the consultant is probably monitoring to see what can be effective. Sadly this is a long term process.

It sounds as if the CPN is also doing his best. Day Centres are one way of dealing with feelings of isolation if they are accepted. My husband went four times and refused to go after that.

My husband also experienced feelings of shame which made him want to hide away at home.

Counselling might help your father . I imagine a lot depends on his short term memory. If he is unable to remember what has been said to him during counselling sessions, he is unlikely to benefit.
But there`s no harm in trying.

I`m sorry to sound so negative but this is an illness for which there is no rule book for treatment. I can only recommend patience, understanding and kindess as means of support.

Please accept the support of Talking Point members. It is more beneficial than many treatments.

[kelly50]

Thanks all for comments and suggestions. I don't want to sound ungrateful but the misery (his mostly) just goes on and on.
Despite trying anti-depressants and sleeping pills my father talks constantly about wanting to escape and wanting to top himself.
He is up and about fromm 2.a.m. asking if its time to get up, getting meals, trying to ring people up etc.
However it looks as if he's going to go and stay at the memory clinic for a couple of weeks where his behaviour can be studied properly and maybe the right medication can be sorted out.
So fingers crossed!!
thanks again
kelly.