Hello.. I'm new to the forum

[dibber]

Hello ...

My mum was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia 2 years ago when she was 78 and has slowly declined ..thankfully she has let me help her quite a lot (at first she was very reluctant)we are lucky that we have lovely carers twice a day to go in a make sure that she eats properly ... she was mainly eating crisps and biscuits....

She has lots of problems with numbers and telling the time is just not possible for her.. we got her a clock that she just has to push the top and it speaks the time but she forgets how to do it.. so she goes to bed about 6.30pm these dark nights and is up early about 5.am and then wonders why the cares are late or when I go early ( 8.00am on a Tuesday) to help her had a bath .. she always says 'your late'....

It's sad to see her struggle with dealing with her money as she used to raise money for several clubs and do the banking etc and now she cannot do it and it was causing her so much distress ..

Mum suffers from UTI's and is on AB's all the time and sometimes when it is bad gets very very confused but she is still with help able to stay at home and I want her to do that all the time she can and would not like to move her at the moment as she has very good neighbours who are very aware of the problem and look out for her..

She has lots of problems putting a sentence together and starts off really enthusiastic in telling us what she has done and then you can see her start to panic when she realises that she cannot express herself... and you have to become expert at thinking one step ahead of her..

At the moment we are able to cope but I am glad that I have found this forum because I know that the way ahead is going to be tough

She often says that she is going mad and I just say..we all are... we have a good laugh together and I have become very close to her...

I think that I will become a constant visitor here..

Liz

[Vonny]

Hallo Liz and welcome to Talking Point

You'll find many others here with similar experiences - it doesn't make your situation any better but it should make you feel among friends who can understand what you are going through. Caring is a tough role and people who have no experience of dementia can't imagine how stressful and distressing it can be.

It's great that you have grown close to your mum. I always managed to have a laugh with my mum about her dementia and like you, we were very close.

Keep posting

Vonny xx

[dibber]

Thank you for your welcome Vonny..

It's good to know that there is support out there.. I know that I am in the early days with mum but reading all the thread on this site it will help me prepare myself... but I suppose that never really happens does it... everyones story is so different..

Mum has been haveing so many difficulties with the phone and yesterday we ordered her a phone that you can put a photo in the touch pad so when she presses it it will ring number of the person in the photo don't know if it will be successful but will give it a go.. this morning my aunt phoned me as she couldn't get mum on the phone so I rang her and eventually she answered the phone and said she just couldn't remember what to do and where the ringing was coming from

[BeckyJan]

Hello Dibber:
Welcome to TP. Pleased you found this forum and hope it helps.

It is so sad to see our loved ones deteriorate but you are here among friends who understand your experiences. As you say we are all different but still empathise with you.

Keep posting. Love Jan

[NewKid]

Just want to add a hello and yes you are right - reading here will help you prepare. I am personally no expert, but a lot wiser than 6 months ago. Thanks all! I have also become very close to my Mum and protective, in a way that would have been impossible before as she was so 'capable' (urm.. controlling really!). And the funny side is always worth seeking if possible. Take care.

[dibber]

Thank you BeckyJan and Newkid... I will certainly be sticking around.. my mum was so capable as well and as the baby of the family she never took advice from me...what did I KNOW..lol but now she asked me before she does anything her favourite saying is that everyone is so bossy but I did feel quite touched when she was talking to my OH about me and said that I was the important one.....

[Minxy]

Hello dibber, I'm new too and reading your post took me back to my Mums behaviour a few years ago, who also was diagnosed with vascular dementia about 5 years ago. She worked as a credit controller and we were so surprised when the first thing she had difficulty with was working out money and also telling the time.
I can empathise with you and hope we both find some support here. Keep the humour going with your Mum, it has helped us so much through the last five years.

[dibber]

Thanks Minxy..yes humour is so important..I also feel that I am very very lucky to have the support of my OH he is very good with mum and helps me so much as we often have phone calls and have to sort out things for her and as we live 5 miles away from her and I don't drive he is a god send to me

[Izzy]

Welcome, Dibber. I have no doubt your will find comfort, support and friendship here. Izzy x

[dibber]

Thank you Izzy