Dad Refusing Food and Drink

[debs1966]

Hi

My father has had dementia for 4/5 years and recently suffered a urine tract infection which lead for him eventually being admitted to hospital after 7 days of refusal of food and drink.

He has now been admitted to hospital and after a further 7 days still he his refusing food and drink. (I find it hard to believe he his still surviving - but he his a fighter bless him.)

They have taken the step to put him on a drip, make him comfortable and stop all previous medication he was taking.

The consultant said we could be looking at end of life which is really heartbreaking to hear and to see him wasting away in front of my very eyes is very distressing.

I feel how could he all have a sudden have been eating in the nursing home to pure refusal of food and drink has anybody else come across this please?

Unbelievably he is still very alert at times in knowing who the family is he even said the other night "Are you listening to me, are you listening to me? I don't want to go. Which was heartbreaking for me to hear. And even asked "When are you going to get married?"

Any help in this matter would be very appreciated.

Many thanks

Debbie

[lesmisralbles]

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad X

UTI infections can make someone have a very bad downturn.. My husband who is 85 had one in May this year. He got over that infection.

Someone will come along on here and give you more support and advice. Take care X
With love
Barb X

[Vonny]

Hi Debbie and a warm welcome to Talking Point.

As Barb says, UTIs can cause a bad downturn. Sometimes the sufferer recovers almost completely, sometimes not.

Refusal to eat and drink is a known symptom of dementia for a variety of reasons. Your dad sounds very alert for someone who is refusing food. I assume the hospital has had him assessed by a Speech and Language Therapist to ensure he is able to swallow?

Other than that I don't know what to suggest, if he is refusing to eat even little titbits. We kept our mum alive on spoonsful of trifle and yoghurt for several months after she stopped eating her one main meal of the day: weetabix.

It is highly distressing to see your loved one wasting away before your eyes, and I hope you get some comfort and support here on TP.

Vonny xx

[Mameeskye]

Hi

This happened to my Mum and it can be quite hard to get them eating again, but Mum did with a little perseverance. She also, surprisingly after 6 weeks without walking started to walk again.

You have to know how your parent is feeling in themselves. I asked my Mum "Do you want to get well?". She replied "Yes" with such force and determination that I thought OK an started syringing water into her mouth which she was able to swallow. 5 ml at a time, every couple of minutes. I authorised the nurses to do the same (there were times when having an EPA really helped) However she was in the NH not in a hopsital and they couldn't really believe that she was dying as the GP had suggested.

We then moved onto food and yoghurts. She did not like pureed food (and managed to make this eprfectly clear without language ) so we tried to keep it to soggy foods, blitzed soups, pureed porridge etc. things that normally had this consistency. We used chocolate as well in the form of buttons. I well remember one night when she would not let go of the bag and ended up coated in milk chocolate but she was smiling.

We coaxed her into taking her pills as well. I still do not know how we did it but she obviously wanted to get well...adn she did. It was a rollercoaster ride for a good 4+ weeks though. Constant battles with "If you want to get well you have to do this" and dealing with flashes of frustrated temper (Like a toddler tantrum)

I don't know if this helps at all...

((((((hugs)))))) I know how hard it can be.

Love

Mameeskye

[LadyA]

My husband who is well otherwise physically, just went through several days of refusing food although he would drink. I eventually took him to a juice bar, bought him a "Turbo Booster" (He's always been a health food nut) and after about half an hour he said he was starving! Still refused solid food though, but I persuaded him that sloppy scrambled egg was actually more a liquid than a food, and he ate it! He is still not eating a lot, but will have 1 slice of toast a day, and a couple of crackers and some soup. If your dad seems bright and coherent at times, could you try asking him about eating? If he will, and what would he like? When my dad was dying (leukaemia) he couldn't eat much, and the food in the hospital was repetitious and he hated it; one day he said "I'd love a sausage!" - so I scooted out to the nearest takeaway and got him one. He was only able for a tiny bit, but he enjoyed it!

[debs1966]

Thank you for you kind words of support. My dad is still not eating and drinking very little but I think he his so weak.

I have tried giving little bits of soup and sips of orange but he just spits it out. He his still on a drip but very weak but I am not giving up on him.

I am speaking to the Consultant this morning to discuss my concerns surprisingly his blood results have come back which say they are better than when he came in so that does give me some hope.

I will keep on perservering until the end .....