Questions from othere experience of residential homes Please

[Ladywriter1968]

I wish to retrieve some information about residential homes. I heard some horror stories before of elderly patients being misstreated and left to die etc. Are all the homes monitored now for this sort of thing? I only ask cause if my dad ends up having to go in one, I want to make sure that he will be looked after properly and not neglected really by poor staff or nurses etc? Plus alas my previous threads. If they decide for my dad to go into care the nurse said he will be assessed for 6 weeks if this happens. Would I choose the place he goes or do the hospital choose this? As you can see I am a complete virgin to this sort of thing as I have never had to deal with it before. Do they choose the hospital in the area of where the person lives? or can they go outside their boundary? or does it have to be within the council they come under?

[Margaret W]

Ladywriter rest assured there are lots of decent care homes out there. The ones that are really poor are few and far between, and there should be none where residents are left to die. Most are good places, the staff working their best for their residents. There are very few care staff who are poor or who neglect their charges. That said, there are homes who provide better care than others, more appropriate to the needs of your dad, and you will have to go and look at them and see what you think. Bear in mind that care homes have a difficult job with perhaps 50 residents all at different stages of the illness and some are better than others at keeping residents active and alert, and some do indeed resort to them sitting in chairs for much of the day, though no-one should be "left to die".

I am not sure about the 6-week rule, that could be something the hospital are planning on. My mum was in the hospital for 3 months, cos that is how long it took to assess her needs. Then we were told to find a care home, and 6 weeks was the general maximum, they expect you to find one sooner than that, but they will not throw your dad out if you have a good reason for him not moving.

Does he need to go to a hospital? Are you sure on that? Most homes are either general care homes or nursing homes, but there are some in the middle. None are hospitals to my knowledge. Where your dad needs to be placed depends on the care assessment conducted by the professionals (somebody else will come along and be more specific than me on that), and what they think he needs.

You should be able to choose where he goes, that suits his needs, and that includes a place outside the boundary of his local authority. Much depends on whether he is self-funding (paying his own costs) or if the local authority is supporting him, but he should still be able to choose a place outside their area - if indeed, there are places available, which is your next concern. In theory, he should be able to move to the other side of the country, if a suitable place is available.

But it all takes times and effort, Ladywriter, and is not a lot of fun. You need to know from the medical team what category of home he needs. Nursing, general or in-between. Then you need to find out what will be paid for by the state and what you need to pay out of dad's money, and possibly any extra (top-up fees) you feel you can pay yourself. Be aware that if you decide to pay some yourself, you could be paying that for a very long time, and ask yourself if you can commit to that. Moving a person with dementia is not an easy thing, and committing yourself to years of supporting them financially can be a big risk. Better perhaps to find somewhere that you like that doesn't cost you extra but is acceptable.

Some people find care homes that are perfect for their loved ones. Most of us find care homes that are good enough. I hope you are in the former category when it comes to looking.

Which you should start to do now, before it is necessary for him to move. Visit about 6 care homes that you might like. See what facilities they offer that might suit your dad. See how the other residents are, do they seem happy, are they clean and comfortable (well report the home if not!). Visit these homes more than once. Go at meal times to see what happens with residents who have difficulty feeding themselves. Go unannounced. A good care home will have no problem with that, indeed will expect it of a caring family.

I get the impression that you don't live near your dad, so you might wish to consider if he would be better in a care home near his old friends and neighbours (they can be a godsend) or whether he would be better nearer to you and your family. A difficult choice and not one I have had to make.

But at the end of they day, within constraints, the choice is definitely yours.

Good luck love.

Margaret

[Brucie]

There are many excellent homes, and it is just a fact of life that people tend not to talk about them - it is generally those who feel they have had bad experiences who broadcast it.

We can all understand that, but there can be many reasons for bad experiences as well - including the inability to engage with the home by the visitors, unrealistic expectations, rare visiting so the home is not kept on its toes, lack of communication with the staff and management to establish a relationship that says "I have an interest here and I want the very best care".

There are also of course bad homes, very bad homes and dreadful homes, and that is the challenge.

Take a look at this thread, it may help http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?t=10341

[merlin]

Hi Ladywriter

The responses you have got to your query tick all the boxes that I would have done. Seems to me that you require what is known as a "Care Home with Nursing". Certainly the one my wife is in has, apart from the carers, an RGN on duty 24/7 for each wing or ward.

I would also emphasise Brucie's point about engageing with the staff. I have the advantage over yourself as I am retired and am able to go each day to see my wife and help out during mealtimes. This way over a period of time you get to know the workings of the home and are able to influence (tactfully of course)the care. I have even been asked by the matron (yes we have a proper matron not a bean counter running this home) my opinion on her care.

It is though, as Margeret says hard work choosing a home, more of a gut feeling than the star rating.

Good luck

Merlin

[Ladywriter1968]

Originally Posted by merlin

Hi Ladywriter

The responses you have got to your query tick all the boxes that I would have done. Seems to me that you require what is known as a "Care Home with Nursing". Certainly the one my wife is in has, apart from the carers, an RGN on duty 24/7 for each wing or ward.

I would also emphasise Brucie's point about engageing with the staff. I have the advantage over yourself as I am retired and am able to go each day to see my wife and help out during mealtimes. This way over a period of time you get to know the workings of the home and are able to influence (tactfully of course)the care. I have even been asked by the matron (yes we have a proper matron not a bean counter running this home) my opinion on her care.

It is though, as Margeret says hard work choosing a home, more of a gut feeling than the star rating.

Good luck

Merlin

Thanks for your replies on this subject.

As for my dad, he only lives in a council house and has no savings so I guess if he does go into a a home they will pay for it from his benefits. I certainly can not afford to pay for it. and guess the councils also contribute as well then.

[DIL]

Just to re-iterate what others have said, the best way to ensure that your Dad receives good care is to become involved in all of the decisions, visit often and connect with the staff as much as you can. Ask questions, and if you see a problem ask what is being done, and check up later to make sure they carry it through.

You are allowed full access to a written care plan that should be maintained by the care home, and can write comments or requests on that yourself too.

You may well feel that all of this shouldn't be your role once your father goes into full time care, but a degree of involvement will hopefully set your mind at rest.

[Ladywriter1968]

thank you everyone