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  1. #1

    Question Don't know what to do next

    Mum was finally diagnosed with 'Dementia in Alzheimer's atypical or mixed' about 3 months ago and has been prescribed Donepezil, however she still seems to be deteriorating.

    She is capable of dressing herself, feeding herself (if I take her shopping and we get mostly ready-meals) and looking after her bungalow. She can even still write poetry and do cross-words in magazines. However, her short term memory is terrible and she has been diagnosed with depression. Add onto this that she has suffered from symptoms similar to petit mal epilepsy that do not respond to treatment for about 5 years and leave her feeling awful. Now, she is being investigated for arthritis of the knee / hip as she is suddenly in a lot of pain when walking - so much so that she struggles to walk without leaning on me or the furniture.

    I, meanwhile am her only close family and am a full-time teacher. The stress levels got so bad today that I burst into tears when a colleague asked how I was and they sent me home!

    Today, I started trying to get some support for her but it's early days and obviously this is all going to take time and patience, neither of which I have left in me right now. Does anyone know what I could do next? I have requested a carer's assessment and my GP offered stress counselling / beta blockers / to sign me off - none of which seem appealing right now. I already have LPA and have been dealing with her finances for a few years. I am exhausted and just need her to stop phoning me constantly to ask questions. Yesterday it was 9 times and 3 times before work this morning. If I try to tactically ignore the calls and let her leave messages, she just keeps on leaving tearful messages on my answering machine until I phone her back!

    Any ideas would be appreciated please. Sorry for the long rant!

  2. #2
    Bless you, that sounds like me, with my bladder near my eyes at all times. Is your mum self funding for care? Could she do with some help? Failing that will she go to an Age UK centre just for the day, my mum is often tempted out by the lovely lunch. They have a bus which collects them snd brings them home. There are befriending services, check that out with Age UK and the Alzheimer's society. Also there is the admiral nurse help line, those poor women have listened to me cry more than once! Speak to your C P N, they may know more. On the calls front i dont really know, maybe block number very hard but you need the break Good Luck x x x

  3. #3
    Volunteer Moderator
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Wigan, Lancs
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    Hi and welcome to Talking Point.

    From a practical point of view >>this factsheet << on what to do after a diagnosis can help to check that you have as many bases covered as possible.

    You can check what Society services are available local to you >>here<<.

    As for the constant phone calls I can only suggest keeping calm and answering her calls, then coming here for a virtual scream! You'll find lots of support here from people who really understand what you're going through. I wouldn't totally discount your GP's offer to sign you off for a short time. On the other hand you may feel that your job offers you a form of escape to a 'normal' life, but don't think you have to be superman/woman.
    Sue

    Former carer and Volunteer Moderator

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