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  1. #1
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    Unhappy I hate dementia, it sucks!

    Sorry, just feeling a bit sad. I just had the loveliest weekend away with my mum but it just reminded me how I'm losing her. I can't bear the thought of her getting worse, not recognising me, breaking my son's heart. Blooming dementia is so cruel and evil! My little boy idolises her.

    Mum's struggling at home on her own, I live so far away and it make's me so sad that she's having a hard time and is so vulnerable.

    Sucks, sucks, sucks!

    Sorry to be so whiny, I know lots of people have it really tough on here, I just needed a virtual vent.

    On the plus side, her LPAs came through today after 7 months!!! I took some advice on here and got it photocopied today.

    Denise
    x
     

  2. #2

    Smile

    Hi Denise, its OK to have a moan, very therapeutic. Dementia is very cruel.

    Its great that you've had a good time with your mum, you learn to treasure these moments, its the way I deal with my mums dementia, by being grateful for the good days and letting the bad days go by............ its not to say i don't cry and grieve but i try not to dwell on what the future might bring.

    Best wishes

    Dianne
     

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by hiedicat View Post
    Hi Denise, its OK to have a moan, very therapeutic. Dementia is very cruel.

    Its great that you've had a good time with your mum, you learn to treasure these moments, its the way I deal with my mums dementia, by being grateful for the good days and letting the bad days go by............ its not to say i don't cry and grieve but i try not to dwell on what the future might bring.

    Best wishes

    Dianne
    Hi, rant away!! You have mentioned many of the things I'm feeling right now. I look at my grandmother and realise the woman I knew is slowly slipping away and I could scream. It's good to let it all out as it gives you the strength to cope with the next day.

    Take care and rant plenty I say!!
     

  4. #4
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    dementia sucks

    Watching dementia happen to someone you love is the worst despair I have ever known. Sucks!
     

  5. #5
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    Hello Denise
    Rant on here as much as you need, it does help

    Erm the Lpa photo copies are they certified copies or just photo copies
    Lin

    Daughter and former carer

    If only I could have Hindsight beforehand, oh what a difference it would make .

    Odd words,mis-spelling and punctuation are most likely due to my clever phone, it seems to have its own ideas about what I am trying to say, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it lol
     

  6. #6
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    My husband has been diagnosed since 2008 and is now, so the consultant told me on Monday, in end stage. I was a little shocked but then I think when you see someone every day the decline is less noticeable.
    Anyhow, what I will say is even now with MMSE less than 5 we still have some good days, he still recognises me and he is still continent.
    I try to take life one day at a time and find there are still good times.
    It is a cruel disease and there are times when I weep but even at this late stage there still are moments of joy for us.
    love Tre
     

  7. #7
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    I do so agree with you and everyone else on here. It took Bryan away from us gradually 3 years before he passed away. It needs so much research. Moan away - you are certainly not alone.
    Love and hugs Muriel xx
     

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by lin1 View Post
    Hello Denise
    Rant on here as much as you need, it does help

    Erm the Lpa photo copies are they certified copies or just photo copies
    Lin, I have just got photo copies at the moment but I'm going to get them certified.
     

  9. #9
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    Big hugs to you all. What strong, amazing people you are. I'm going to put my head in the sand now and pretend mum isn't going to get any worse.

    x x
     

  10. #10

    Hello

    My dad suffers from lewy body dementia. He has had a bad week. I try to go as often as i can to see him. Luckily i live close by. He lives with my mum she is worn out. It breaks my heart to see this once independent man become so frail and dependant on others for almost everything. He seems so confused and cant even recognise his own home anymore. I cant bear the thought that he might not recognise me. I love him so much and sometimes feel like screaming. When i come home i cry myself to sleep quietly sobbing so my children cant hear me.
    Its so so sad.
     

  11. #11
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    Desperate times

    Hi all.

    We moved my Nana into the same care home as Grandad at the weekend. I can only sympathise with the pain you are all feeling. Visiting Grandad is hard enough, but visiting them both sat their holding hands after 57 years of marriage is tough. They recognise each other but their memories of each other are fading which I find heart breaking. Grandad became a removal man on Saturday moving the care home furniture around because he was restless. He finally sat down after an hour and with very sad eyes, just said "I'm tired of this now" - I'm pretty sure he wasn't just referring to the furniture removals!!

    Every time I leave them I have a cry in the car and by the time I'm home my head is also buried in the sand thinking it's not going to get worse. It always does. Sometimes I will cry myself to sleep too, just knowing how scared they are keeps me awake and the fear they won't make it through the night stops me sleeping.

    I miss them and yet they are still alive. I wish it wasn't so painful
    You'd think after going through this once already we'd be prepared but I guess you can never be prepared for something like dementia. It takes down even the strongest of people
     

  12. #12
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    Yes it sucks

    It is so rubbish. My mum recently moved a very long way to be close to me and my family and she has been very brave about it. It is great that we can see each other more often now. We can still have some laughter and good times, but it is so hard. Some days I can cope with the grief of losing her by degrees and others it just washes over me too (like today). My thoughts are with you.
     

  13. #13
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    Oh it's so evil isn't it. I really hope, for my son's sake, that I just pop my cloggs and don't get this devastating illness.

    It's great to have this forum to share and offload though isn't it. Keep strong x x
     

  14. #14
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    It is a cruel, disease.
    I was going through some 'photos yesterday for some Family History stuff I am doing and came across one of Mum and Dad on their 45th wedding anniversary in 2005: this was 5 months before their quack prescribed the drug that caused the mini strokes which led to Vascular Dementia.
    Looking at them in the 'photo, happy, looking forward to the plans they still had....well it made me sad then very, very angry that the years they should have had together were ripped away from them.
    I miss my Dad every day, the essence that was 'him' has long since gone.....I miss my Mum because the woman she is now is not the woman she was or would have been had Dad not developed this disease. All of our family relationships have changed in ways they wouldn't have if Dementia hadn't come into our lives.
    There is no easy answer, we all deal with this disease and the effect it has on the lives it touches, in different ways.
    Having this special place to rant and to share is what has kept me sane at times....in the wee small hours when I can't sleep it is a sanctuary.
    You're all life savers in your own way.....
    X
     

  15. #15
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    My goodness how terrible - it's hard to accept dementia but it must almost be impossible to accept this situation which may have not occurred at all without some drug!




    Quote Originally Posted by Taz View Post
    It is a cruel, disease.
    I was going through some 'photos yesterday for some Family History stuff I am doing and came across one of Mum and Dad on their 45th wedding anniversary in 2005: this was 5 months before their quack prescribed the drug that caused the mini strokes which led to Vascular Dementia.
    Looking at them in the 'photo, happy, looking forward to the plans they still had....well it made me sad then very, very angry that the years they should have had together were ripped away from them.
    I miss my Dad every day, the essence that was 'him' has long since gone.....I miss my Mum because the woman she is now is not the woman she was or would have been had Dad not developed this disease. All of our family relationships have changed in ways they wouldn't have if Dementia hadn't come into our lives.
    There is no easy answer, we all deal with this disease and the effect it has on the lives it touches, in different ways.
    Having this special place to rant and to share is what has kept me sane at times....in the wee small hours when I can't sleep it is a sanctuary.
    You're all life savers in your own way.....
    X
     

 

 

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