My husband and his mother were stopped by the the Deputy Senior Nurse as they left the unit where my FIL is being cared for. She commented on his decline, loss of weight, not eating very well etc and said should he become ill again (he was hospitalised with an infection earlier this year) would my MIL prefer him to go to hospital or stay and the unit. She said stay at the unit and my husband backed up this decision (as did his brothers when he reiterated the conversation).
We all however dont think my MIL understands the implications of him not being hospitalised as although he has a DNR she has resisted 'no medical interventions' despite his suffering (obviously does not want to see him leave her - although he left a long time ago in real terms). We have however agreed to leave things as they are and not expland on the situation to her.
My FIL is definately stage 7 with no quality of life at all apart from the fact he can breath unaided. He will enter his 12th year in care on 3rd January 2013.
I have put his name on the sick list at my church (I am a catholic by birth - lapsed - but old habits die hard) and I really hope God will intervene and end his suffering it is quite awful to witness