Need a hug

[Nanak]

Several people have sent me the funeral nbooklet that is handed out by the undertakers to each person at the service when the service was too far away for me to attend. One widow also sent me a copy of the eulogy which was a nice thought. There may be photos taken of the casket and the flowers that you would like a copy of too. I am sure your family who do attend would do that for you.

I think you need to do something to give yourself some closure. Releasing balloons is popular, planting a tree, or favourite flowers, even buying a bunch of flowers ( the sort you would have given your mother) and maybe photographing them so the memory is always accessible for you on hte bad days.

You could even do a simple memorial service with a few friends and your family in your back yard. Whatever you choose to do, sharing it with family and friends will help.

(((hugs))) from Sue.

My brother or sister will make sure I get a copy of the order of service (if that is what it is called) and they are going to send pics of the flowers once they are chosen. We are going to have one arrangement from myself my sister and brother and another from all the grandchildren and great grandchildren.
I suggested that we check out the flowers Mum chose for her wedding bouquet and include some of them (my Dad is a passionate gardener. Flowers and veggies, and Mum loved her garden but myself sister and brother were behind the door when the horticultural genes were handed out because we are all like the kiss of death to flowers and a garden haha)
Releasing balloons sounds like a good idea though I hadn't thought of that

[2jays]

Releasing balloons sounds like a good idea though I hadn't thought of that

When an aunt of my OH died, the evening of her funeral we let off the biggest firework rocket we could find - her house backed onto an inlet that the RNIL used for their rescue dingy, so we told them we were going to set the rocket off - well we set this rocket off, and all the alarms went off at the base and the boat was launched.

We did find out later, that as she was such a long standing supporter of the RNIL and always enquired after the lifeboat men after a call out, they had launched the boat in her honour.

[jan.s]

When an aunt of my OH died, the evening of her funeral we let off the biggest firework rocket we could find - her house backed onto an inlet that the RNIL used for their rescue dingy, so we told them we were going to set the rocket off - well we set this rocket off, and all the alarms went off at the base and the boat was launched.

We did find out later, that as she was such a long standing supporter of the RNIL and always enquired after the lifeboat men after a call out, they had launched the boat in her honour.

That is lovely 2 jays.

[Nanak]

That is lovely 2 jays.

What an honour

[Kathphlox]

I'm such a softie, things like that always make me cry.

[2jays]

What an honour

I will be lighting a sparkler for your mum - cant do a rocket here, I live too near to the airport.

[Izzy]

Will be thinking of you on 5th. x

[cragmaid]

We did find out later, that as she was such a long standing supporter of the RNIL and always enquired after the lifeboat men after a call out, they had launched the boat in her honour.

You know this just made me think how much impact any one person's life can have on others....... and yes my eyes were stinging as I read it too.
I think it would be a lovely idea to have a Candle Day...I know there are various memorial sites where you can post an online one in memory of a lost one, but I light candles every night anyway so I will light one especially for your Mum, NanaK,and for all your family too, to lighten your darkness.x.x.

[janetlynn]

Keep smiling Nanak. Your mum would want that.



Janet.

[Helen33]

Dear Nanak,

I have only just caught up with your news. Please accept my sincere condolences. I read how hard it is with you being so distant and how you feel about you and your children being absent from the funeral. My daughter was unable to attend the funeral of her biological father so she asked if we could do our own thing. We did. We went for a meal and afterwards we let off sky lanterns. It was what she wanted and she always remembers it as 'special'. I do hope that you and your children will find a way of saying your final goodbye to your mum in a way that is special to you. It doesn't have to be 'instead' of the funeral in the UK but 'as well as'.

I will certainly be thinking of you on the day.

Love

[Nanak]

We will certainly do something here in Australia
I have had a poem written for Mum to be read at the funeral.
My daughters friend has a brother who writes poetry. It is lovely.
I woke up for the first time this morning to daylight the last 10 days or so I have been awake early and it has still been dark.

[ggma]

What a lovely idea, and something you will always have and can read whenever you want.