I have a realy dilema. I live a number of miles from my mum who was diagosed a year ago with Alzheimers, however my brother lives almost on the doorstep. Relations between my brother and I are not good (don't know why and he wont tell) and he has a huge amount of influence over my mum. He has told alot of people he has POA but I have had confirmation from OPG that this has not been registered. He has also advised he is going to meet with me to discuss getting more care for mum. She has a carer go in 1 day a week for 4 hours and a cleaner I think 2 days a week for 2 hours. I would like to get Adult Social care involved and get her more help but not sure about the capcity issue. My mother and father had an old fashioned marriage where the husband made all the decisions etc and therfore my mum hasn;t had to do much of it. Over the past years my brother has had a huge influence on mum (even to the extent of having me blocked from going to her initial assessment and finding out about her diagnosis. This has now been changed)and she very much listens to what he says and takes his advise, although not always I feel the best for her but it is for him.
To move forward I need to get my head round this capacity issue. How or who makes the decision that mum no longer has capacity? I really need to know as I know if I approach the authorities he will block me by influencing mum (not an easy situation) and if she still is deemed capable and says she doesn't need help I wont be able to get it AAARRRGGGHHH !!!!!!!!!! I need to be able to start putting things in place even if it does mean COP etc and upsetting the applecart with my baby brother but it needs to be done to give mum the quality of life she deserves. Just really frustrated about this capacity bit and when she is deemed incapacitated. Any help/guidance would be so much appreicated as feel totally out on a limb and mum is stuck very lonely and not doing well in all aspects of life at the moment :-(
Thanks in advance