Struggling today

[MinnieMouse]

Today I am struggling with Mum being diagnosed with Alzheimers and a friend and a few close family members who are acting like it isn't as bad as what it is and I should just deal with things when they happen. I am trying to be strong and carry on as normal but some days like today I just feel so sad and like I am loosing her already. I just know how bad it is going to get. I need to find a way to cope long term xx

[jude50]

Hi Minnie

It is difficult to see the one you care about change in front of you and I too get scared but I try to concentrate now on today and what I have to deal with now. i was told once that they is nothing more fearful that fear itself and sometimes i drive myself mad with all the imaginings of what might happen but I try not too.

You will have bad days but not all days will be bad, you will have good days when you feel you are coping well and you will have golden moments to cherish. And don't forget we are always here for you to cry, rant, complain but also to find the lighter moments.

Jude

[michraw]

hi,
i know its not the same but i work with individuals with dementia and alzeihmers, it is such a scary prospect but i have seen people cope with this illness, sounds to me like you trying to hold yourself together but sometimes have a sit a good little cry and it will help, if there is anyway i can help in coping with it please feel free to private message me, not sure what i can do but its nice to know there is someone to talk to who wont judge you xx

[Izzy]

Hi there. I think Jude sums it up very nicely. I know it's hard but you'll cope - we all do in the end. Coming on TP will help you lots - I know it. x

[MinnieMouse]

Thank you so much for replying. I must admit I burst into tears as you are right what you are saying, I am trying to hold it together and I am really scared of what might happen. I just worry so much for her and her uncertain future, you only want to protect your family. I think unless people have experienced dementia like yourselves then they don't understand. I know I have to cope and I will cope. It does really help speaking on here to people who know how you really feel so thanks again xxxx

[Izzy]

I'm glad you're finding it helpful to talk on here. I know it's all very frightening. My mum died almost a year ago (a year next Wednesday) and she had Vascular Dementia. It was really hard seeing her change but we did make the most of it when we could. My husband has Alzheimer's and that frightens me. Having said that he has changed massively since his diagnosis 11 years ago and I think as it has been so gradual I have been able to come to terms with it (almost!) as the time goes by. Take care of yourself. x

[JackMac]

Hello

If there's one thing I have learnt it is that nobody can possibly understand unless they have walked in our shoes. I used to work in a dementia care home and now my mum has it, I realise looking back how little I knew!
My mum is now going into the advanced stage of dementia and we still have the odd person acting as if she's not as bad as we think she is
It's frustrating but you learn to ignore them.
My advice is talk to those who do accept whats happening. I can count on one hand who that is in my life but it's enough to just keep leaning on them...and not speak to the rest about it!

You might find like me that you will have your down times like this but you come out the other end. The down times will come again but with me I don't try and fight them anymore. I spend a few days bawling and then carry on again.
It's devastating, no two ways about it.

I think in the early stages, you get more people not understanding and down the track hopefully they will be more supportive.
You know, you can only deal with it your way. Nobody can tell you how to feel or how to do things. We are all different.
I'm very emotional and bawl probably at least once a week! Whereas my sister seems to keep it together better. No wrong or right.

keep coming here. there will be many that understand.
jackmac

[MinnieMouse]

I'm glad you're finding it helpful to talk on here. I know it's all very frightening. My mum died almost a year ago (a year next Wednesday) and she had Vascular Dementia. It was really hard seeing her change but we did make the most of it when we could. My husband has Alzheimer's and that frightens me. Having said that he has changed massively since his diagnosis 11 years ago and I think as it has been so gradual I have been able to come to terms with it (almost!) as the time goes by. Take care of yourself. x

Hi Izzy
I am so sorry about your Mum xx I feel for you what you have been through with your Mum and now your husband, you are so brave. Thanks for taking the time to reply it really does help when people share their thoughts and experiences and they understand. Take care and if I can help you any time message me, lots of love xxxx

[Izzy]

Thanks MinnieMouse. I don't think I'm brave at all!! Thanks for the offer of messaging - I'll remember that. xx

[MinnieMouse]

Hello

If there's one thing I have learnt it is that nobody can possibly understand unless they have walked in our shoes. I used to work in a dementia care home and now my mum has it, I realise looking back how little I knew!
My mum is now going into the advanced stage of dementia and we still have the odd person acting as if she's not as bad as we think she is
It's frustrating but you learn to ignore them.
My advice is talk to those who do accept whats happening. I can count on one hand who that is in my life but it's enough to just keep leaning on them...and not speak to the rest about it!

You might find like me that you will have your down times like this but you come out the other end. The down times will come again but with me I don't try and fight them anymore. I spend a few days bawling and then carry on again.
It's devastating, no two ways about it.

I think in the early stages, you get more people not understanding and down the track hopefully they will be more supportive.
You know, you can only deal with it your way. Nobody can tell you how to feel or how to do things. We are all different.
I'm very emotional and bawl probably at least once a week! Whereas my sister seems to keep it together better. No wrong or right.

keep coming here. there will be many that understand.
jackmac

Hi jackmac
Thank you so much for replying to me. You are so right in everything you say, I will concentrate on my friends and family who are supportive and people who accept it and stop talking to the few that aren't.
I think I bottle things up and try to be strong all the time instead of saying no I am not ok. Your sister sounds the same but I bet when she is on her own she isn't bless her. You have really helped me so thank you, if I can ever help you message me any time, lots of love xxxx

[jenniferpa]

hi,
i know its not the same but i work with individuals with dementia and alzeihmers, it is such a scary prospect but i have seen people cope with this illness, sounds to me like you trying to hold yourself together but sometimes have a sit a good little cry and it will help, if there is anyway i can help in coping with it please feel free to private message me, not sure what i can do but its nice to know there is someone to talk to who wont judge you xx

On the whole, we do suggest that the private message system be used when you have built up a relationship with other forum members. When you post on the forum you get a variety of different opinions and the support you get tends to be more balanced.