Storage question

[florida]

Mother in Law now in a care home, but we had to deal with her possessions (rented property). We managed to sell a few items via ebay and gumtree, until one son objected and wanted everything into storage. This seems a rather unnecessary expense for MiL- £24 per week indefinitely. Has anyone else had this problem? How did you resolve it?

thanks for any replies

[jeany123]

I think if son objected to you selling everything that he should pay for storage not your MIL.

Jeany x

[ellejay]

Hi,
I wonder if, perhaps,her son thinks his mother may need the stuff again? Sometimes it's quite hard to accept they're never going to live independently again.

If it's that, then a chat could solve it. If it's that he wants the stuff, ( maybe, sometime)then Jeany's idea that he's welcome to pay the storage himself seems right.

Good luck

Lin x

[Witzend]

I think if son objected to you selling everything that he should pay for storage not your MIL.

Jeany x

I agree 100%. Totally unreasonable to expect your mil to fund it.

Having said that, it can be very hard emotionally to get rid of a parent's things in one go. My dh could not bring himself to get rid of everything after his father died - quite a bit was given away but a load of stuff went into storage for several years. (At dh's own expense). Personally I felt it was a crazy waste of money, but I did understand that he just wasn't ready to let it all go.

[lin1]

I think if son objected to you selling everything that he should pay for storage not your MIL.

Jeany x

I agree, the money spent per year on storage could be better spent on your MiL, that £24 mounts up to a tidy sum over a year, unless of course the son is willing to pay it, if he is I WOULD GET IT IN WRITING
so their can be no misunderstandings later on

But what I would do is ask family what they would like to have for themselves and tell them what you will do with the items that are not wanted by them and no longer needed by MiL


If MiL has a will then items must be kept for the executors to deal with later on

Any Items that MiL verbally promised to people than maybe you could consider giving them over now

Hope this helps

[Cal5]

Even as somebody who runs a small storage business (alongside caring for Dad...) I would definitely recommend avoiding the storage option if possible!

Storage is expensive, and I see a large proportion of 'essential' things that people put in storage seeming to go straight to recycling or charity after they have been stored for a couple of years or more.

(This doesn't mean that we haven't got a loft full of 'essential' things though! )

Best wishes

[SWMBO1950]

Hi Florida

Have you suggested to this son that is he is so concerned maybe he should store the contents of her house at his home and save his mum the expense (£1200+ per year) . I am sure the storage costs could be put to better use caring for your MIL and providing for her needs?

Mother in Law now in a care home, but we had to deal with her possessions (rented property). We managed to sell a few items via ebay and gumtree, until one son objected and wanted everything into storage. This seems a rather unnecessary expense for MiL- £24 per week indefinitely. Has anyone else had this problem? How did you resolve it?

thanks for any replies

[Chemmy]

Personally, my parents had a lifetime of stuff but very little of real value other than sentimental; I certainly wouldn't have wasted money having it stored.

If he's in any way worried that he's losing his 'inheritance', chances are the storage costs are going to outweigh the value of the items, unless of course it's a stash of antiques .

And in my experience, grandchildren prefer to pay a visit to Ikea rather than have any of gran's old stuff.

[Grannie]

It is very hard to dispose of parents life time of possessions whilst they are still here, but reality is there is no other way.

In our case, we asked a charity to collect belongings so others could benefit and believe me they did not even want the stuff! Not correct labels for H&S i.e beds, too out of date for what people will want (full table and 6 chairs and 2 display cabinets which all had to be chopped up etc. What the son thinks and what others are willing to have are two completely different opinions.

Maybe you suggest he deals with it all, storage / selling and he will soon see that it is not an easy job to do.

[zeeeb]

it's pointless putting it in storage. it all has to be dealt with eventually. If she's not going to need it, it should be done now. otherwise, it'll just be an ongoing expense, then when the time comes, it will have been sitting in storage even longer, so will be worth even less to sell, or more expensive to dispose of, and will be just as traumatic having to sift through it and process it all again.

i know the lady we bought our house off of (a distant relative) went into a home, and for the next year kept asking for things out of the house (funnily enough she didn't ask for the cockroaches and rats). But had already been told by the home, that she had to get rid of half the stuff, she had it all jammed in her little room, and they wouldn't let her have anything else because it was cluttering up the room and the cleaners couldn't get in and clean the floors for all of her precious stuff. not to mention it was old, dusty, dirty, and not being used. she had been living in this house since birth, so the stuff was all very very old (and not in the charming antique kind of way either).

we just kept having to tell her we'd look for it, and then forgetting about it.

[Chemmy]

If he goes to his local auction house (& I'm talking about a general sale here) he'll see that there are house clearances every week and there are boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff from our parents' generation and a shed-load of what is referred to as 'brown' furniture that nobody wants. I wouldn't be surprised if the charity shops send some of the stuff they can't sell in the shops there - who else has two dozen assorted umbrellas?

A car boot sale or a general sale auction is best if you want to generate a little money (but there are selling costs/transport to consider) or a charity shop if you are feeling more altruistic.

My cousin had a well-cared for 70s dining suite to dispose of when she moved last year and she couldn't give it away, even to the homeless, let alone sell it. They took an axe to it before it went to the tip.

[SWMBO1950]

That is so true Chemmy. When my mother moved into her current place (sheltered accommodation) I could not even give her excess furniture away.

The local tip did very well though - that is how life is today - everything is disposable even lifetime memories!!

Personally, my parents had a lifetime of stuff but very little of real value other than sentimental; I certainly wouldn't have wasted money having it stored.

If he's in any way worried that he's losing his 'inheritance', chances are the storage costs are going to outweigh the value of the items, unless of course it's a stash of antiques .

And in my experience, grandchildren prefer to pay a visit to Ikea rather than have any of gran's old stuff.

[Witzend]

A quick PS on this: I have mentioned this before on here but when we were clearing my mother's house my sister in law advertised on Freecycle (I think it's called Freegle now) that a load of household stuff was available on a particular day. It was astonishing what people took away - crockery, kitchen stuff, cutlery, houseplants none of us had room for, all sorts. We would only have had to take it all to the tip.

Freecycle (Freegle?) is great because you can specify your own postcode so people don't have to come far. I got rid of a really ancient TV there (from fil's house) - never thought anyone would want it but someone came from just down the road within hours.
Anything is better than tip/landfill.

[SWMBO1950]

Never heard of that Witzend thanks for the heads up.

[Onlyme]

A friend put a fridge outside with a sign saying Free to good home. No one wanted it but as soon as she put £50 ONR on it someone nicked it!