My friend needs a daytime companion - I think

[1234friend]

Hi. I am new to this forum so please excuse me if I am not doing what is correct.
My friend is 50 and was diagnosed with alzheimers about 3 years ago. She seems to have deteriorated quite rapidly. Her speech is very poor, memeory poor and she gets confused easily. Her husband has a job which means he is out of the house for very long hours. At the moment, he leaves her lists of things to do and then rings her very regularly throughout the day to remind her what to do or to tell her what to do next. She is capable of going to the bank, running erronds for him etc. However, I feel, for both of their sakes, if she had a sort of 'companion' with her in the day this would be better. She spends so many hours with no stimualtion and I feel if she had someone with her, who would say 'right, lets go to the supermarket now. What shall we cook for dinner etc'. She could have constant language stimulation and could be guided through a 'normal' - ish day/routine. They could do a suduki every day, read a newspaper and talk about it , do a jigsaw as well as the normal daily chores. Her husband could then get on with his job (which he needs for his own sanity, I think. And for the money) and he wouldn't be so stressed and there would be food in the house etc.
Is it realistic to think that someone like this might be around? How could I help my friend find this 'companion'. I live about an hour and a half away from them so can't be too much help. Can anyone help?

[Grannie G]

I think you are being very thoughtful.

Perhaps you could start by discussing this with your friend`s husband to see if he approves. He could then contact Social Services in case they have any provision in your area.
If not , providing finance is available, your friend`s husband could contact a reputable agency.


Good luck. Please let us know how you get on.

I am going to move your post to the section for younger people with dementia. You will find it here.

[1234friend]

Thanks for your quick response. I did talk to my friend last week about this and he said he recognised that what I am saying makes sense but accepting that she needs help is hard and just confirms the awfulness of his situation. I said I would start looking for someone and he didn't say 'no'. So I think if I can present him with some options that might help. She has an appointment with the neurologist in July (after some big memeory test (??) in June) and will talk to him then about getting help but I just feel something needs to be put in place sooner. By the time they sees the neurologist and then requests for help are processed it could be months. They could afford to pay for something themselves but obviously would prefer to get some NHS help if possible. How do I find out about reputable agencies?
Thanks.

[snedds57]

I would suggest you contact the local Alzheimer's society to see what support services are available. I have a 48 yr old come to my dementia cafe and they don't always have to bring someone if they are able to get there under their own steam. A dementia support worker might be able to drop in and see her too from time to time. There may also be a befriending service local to her who can help - why not try WRVS?

You don't say if social services are involved. She can be assessed for care and may be able to get an enabler for a few hours a week to take her out and about or spend time with her.

You are a very good friend to have, I hope you are appreciated!

[Bodensee]

Your poor friend only 50 years of age, this is terribly young to have AD, and she has had it for 3 years, will this be her first visit to see a neurologist?
I hope that the neurologist offers your friend every test available even trials suitable for people her age, have a look at the 'Raising Awareness' section regarding the new vaccine for AD currently trialling all over the UK, you never know this may help your dear friend. You could also contact her local NHS mental health team for their advice.

[Vivienne3]

My husband was 50 when diagnosed and I have to work full time. I was asigned a Social Worker who has been a wonderful support. They provided a 'Personal Assistant' initially for 10 hours a week to take him out or go out for lunch, bowling or just to keep him company through the week. This was a great introduction to when he really needed help as they just agreed to increase the hours, went to 20 then 30 and now 44 hours a week. Therefore my husband is never on his own as he cannot use the phone now. It would be helpful to make enquiries now as there is a bit of form filling and once she is in the system then it opens doors to getting support quicker when you need it. You don't have to use them, if it doesn't work then you just say no thanks.
Good luck