Loss of language

[Moonflower]

I just wondered if anyone else had come across this issue and had any advice?

When mum moved to the care home 6 months ago her speech "wasn't right" sentence construction was muddled etc. It seemed to improve and I put it down to the fact she had been alone at home without people to talk to for most of the day. But I think there has been more deterioration recently. Some of it is simple substitution of one word for another, introducing me as her mother not her daughter etc. Sometimes she uses a phrase when she can't find a word, the chef at the care home was "the one who has most to do with the bakery." But I'm finding it harder to follow her conversation, and I'm used to her - I suspect someone who wasn't might not understand what she means.

Is there anything I can do which would help?

[min88cat]

I think this is just part of the natural progression of the disease.we have just come back from visiting my mil at the NH and her speech makes no sense at all. It ranges from a jumble of words which don't go together to just mumbles. We just say, " really ?" or yes or no and she seems happy with that.

[2TT charlie]

My father's speech is gradually deteriorating, though he's still at home. Most of the time I can understand the gist of what he's saying. Sometimes he comes out with a word that sounds like the word he wants but is something different. Sometimes he seems only able to come up with words he's previously been using, so when looking in the garden he might talk about cats or birds when really he wants to say trees or clouds.

This used to frustrate him a lot but less so recently, so I think he's starting to accept it just happens sometimes. I'll usually let him have a couple of goes and if I know what he means I'll suggest the word, for which he's usually grateful. He was always very particular about correct language usage so he does like to have the right word. If I have no idea, I'll either ignore it or say something non-committal and he tends to let it drop. He's much worse in the mornings before he's got back into the habit of talking and sometimes he'll come out with a stream of what sounds like utter nonsense but which I can usually translate from context and tone.

And sometimes it seems that whatever word he wants will be replaced by the day's all-purpose stand-in, so that some days half the things he's talking about are puddings, or potatoes or battles, which isn't much help when he's lost his potatoes and I have no idea what I'm looking for!

Clothes are a problem, though I only have to look at him to understand that when he says he's looking for trousers he means socks, though unfortunately I think sometimes having got the wrong word, that's then what he's looking for ... if he can remember what they look like.

The other words he tends to mix are temperatures and colours so that he'll say things are black or grey or dark or even wet when he's feeling cold and warmth is yellow. But it's all fairly translatable. I usually only correct him if he's floundering and if I understand then I'll just answer him, but using the right word and he says, 'oh yes, that's what I meant'. But he doesn't really follow conversations any more and is frustrated by 'talking heads' on the tv, so we watch a lot of that nice Mr Attenborough's programmes with the colourful pictures that are easy to follow.

[Glamour Puss]

Mum can't remember the names of her grandaughter and grandson

[Chemmy]

At an Alzheimer's Society talk I attended a couple of years ago, it was explained that when the person with dementia calls you 'Mum', they don't necessarily mean they think you are their own mum, but that it's a deeply ingrained word they still associate with a person who clearly loves them (like their mother would).

I must admit that made me choke up - I wish I'd know that years ago when my mother called me (and introduced me) as 'Mum' rather than getting upset at the time that she'd seemingly forgotten I was her daughter.

So if your mum calls you 'Mum', cherish the moment. It'll pass all too soon.

Ah, the benefit of hindsight ...

[chucky]

My dads the same, he speaks words but strung together like a sentence its complete mumbo jumbo. I try to guess what reaction he wants so i just say yes, no, or really answers too. It seems to work for him as he thinks hes got out what he was trying to say. However, an odd time he will actually say a sentence like "look at the rain out there," or one time i heard someone crying and wailing which dad usually doesnt seem aware of, and he turned to me and said "someone's a poor soul". I was gobsmacked that he picked up on the persons distress and could empathise with her then tell me all in one go. Hes been unable to converse for almost all of his 4 years in care, but now and again a small bit of reality suddenly surfaces and he manages to get his thoughts out in a correct and concise way. Another time i had left a birthday card and he was sitting one day looking around the room then suddenly said "oh look at that, top dad" and he was actually reading the front of the card. He never ceases to amaze me, and just for that fleeting moment ive got my dad back.

[Helen33]

Dear Moonflower,

This is a symptom of a frontotemperal lobe dementia. My husband had a semantic dementia of the frontotemperal lobe and I recognise the signs in your mother. Personally I believe it is important to have the correct diagnosis in order to be able to get the proper help. FTD is not like Alzheimers disease in many ways. It is important to find alternative, positive, ways of communication and for this an experienced Speech and Language therapist is vital. The S&L therapist can help those caring to be able to understand what is being communicated and help the carers to find positive ways of communicating back.

There is quite a lot of experience of FTD on this forum so if you feel this is something you need to explore, please just ask and someone will point you in the right directions.

Love

[Saffie]

It is important to find alternative, positive, ways of communication and for this an experienced Speech and Language therapist is vital.

My husband has vascular dementia with possibly some AD and his inability to find the right words has deteriorated to become the totaly incomprehensible speech it now is generally. sometimes, however, especially when agitated, the correct words come out quite forcibly.
The consultant psychiatrist said this was normal and was the result of the part of the brain concerned with language had been affected. his numerical memory was fine at the time and he could recall his pin number with no problem.

However, neither he nor anyone else has ever suggested that speech therapy would help.Indeed, how would he understand or remember what he was being told. I does see to be a normal progression of memory decline.

[Helen33]

Hi Saffie,

However, neither he nor anyone else has ever suggested that speech therapy would help.Indeed, how would he understand or remember what he was being told.

The speech and language therapy is for the carers as it is only the carers that are able to learn to approach things differently.

Love

[zeeeb]

the whole "calling you mum" thing can often come from that you look older (no offence).

My grandmother inlaw does it to her daughter (my mother inlaw). She says "oh you're looking old" and doesn't seem to grasp that she is 96, but when she sees her daughter, who is 66, she looks old. It's almost like she still thinks she is 60 or 70, and it's quite shocking to see her daughter look so old.

[Saffie]

The speech and language therapy is for the carers as it is only the carers that are able to learn to approach things differently.

Hi Helen - thanks for explaining that, sorry for misunderstanding.

[ClareBear]

My husband has vascular dementia with possibly some AD and his inability to find the right words has deteriorated to become the totaly incomprehensible speech it now is generally. sometimes, however, especially when agitated, the correct words come out quite forcibly.

My mum has advanced vascular dementia and has now lost the ability to speak at all. She can sometimes mumble very quietly and incomprehensibly, but like Saffie's husband can, extremely rarely, say a forcible and understandable 'yes' or 'no' if very agitated.

Usually we communicate by her raising her eyebrows for 'yes', but that is only sometimes depending on her lucidity. Other than that, there would be no response at all, either facially or verbally, to any question that we ask her.

Having said that, her understanding is sometimes very good, and sometimes she is able to laugh if we make jokes (other times there will be no recognition of what we are saying).

One of the things I miss most is being able to have a conversation with my lovely mum and to ask her advice. Those occasions when I know she understands what I am saying, mean so much to Dad and I these days. It is a precious moment with my mum as she was xx

[Moonflower]

Many thanks for all your replies

I can well beleive that mum calls me mum because I look old!

I really miss being able to have a proper conversation with her. She had a brain scan and Alzheimers diagnosis, not FTD, but I suppose it depends which parts of the brain are affected.

I so hate this disease. If you set out to invent the most horrible illness you could, you'd come up with something like Alzheimers. I've not had an easy relationship with my mother, but she deserved a better end to her life than this.

[Boudeca2007]

Moonflower it was very helpful that the brain scan shown AD and not FTD as Helen says these 2 types of Dementia are quite different at the beginning.

My late Mum had FTD and at 1st she was saying words wrong like ' chicken ' instead of kitchen. She fully lost her speech quite early and couldn't speak at all for the last 8 years of her life.

[vdg]

My mother's language skills have deteriorated too.I tend to look at the development of her symptoms in terms of regression through life's journey. She is now where my grandsons used to be so I try to communicate as I did with them before their speech was good. When they were little they used babysigning which is sort of Makaton based and so I have adapted some signs from this to use with Mum. Simple things like eat, drink,happy, sad, pain, angry etc.Just enough so she can show me what's happening with her.We can't have conversations any more but at least it helps understand how she's feeling. She does seem to be able to remember some of the actions, perhaps because she always used her hands a lot when she talked anyway,