Food

[NeverGiveUp]

Every day is different, what is wonderful one day is rejected the next, mum would often like 3 freshly cooked meals put in front of her at every mealtime so she can choose what she wants from the menu, not practical and financially not too clever either, but we keep on going. She can still feed herself but will go into 'baby mode' where she wants to be fed, a nightmare.

We go through bad patches when she wants to give up, I rely on my best friend in the kitchen, unflavoured Complan, apparently undetectable in food but makes things taste creamier. When the porridge is cooked in the morning i try to get it cooked as long before she gets up as possible, can get lots of milk absorbed that way, then reheat in the microwave, add sugar and Complan, stir very well to get rid of the Complan. Dinner time have soup in the freezer - Tesco own brand from the chilled cabinet freezes fine, tinned soup always seems too salty and there is a detectable tinny/chemical taste in some. Can get it from frozen to serving in 10 minutes, add Complan for nice creamy soup. Homemade mashed potato is a good way to pack in calories with flavour - milk & flavourful cheese, maybe a smidgeon of Complan. If you have mash left over put it in the next lot of soup. Homemade oven chips with light olive oil, add something like barbeque seasoning, lay off the salt. Soya sauce in moderation seems to stimulate the taste buds - Katsup Manis makes mushrooms taste more mushroomy, it is also a bit sweet tasting when mum doesn't want savoury.

Fresh fruit and nice icecream works well - for some reason she seems to go for Mackies vanilla, I think it isn't overly sweet. Fruit cooked in honey with cinnamon, put on top of a slice of sponge or carrot cake, splodge of sweetend live yoghurt using honey and vanilla disguises all sorts of things.

It is a battle but I had a practice run a few years back when mum got cdiff, thought she was going to die, got her out of hospital but she had been reinfected so it came back, we dealt with it at home, felt we had nothing to loose and preferred she died in her own home if it came to that. Cdiff makes people not want to eat, it seemed very much like the dementia eating problem but with things running out the other end in a very horrible way. Used the above feeding methods to pack in the calories and vitimins, it worked much to the suprise of the doctors who had told me I was fighting a lost cause. She has now got to 96, still mobile.

A common denominator with cdiff and dementia feeding problems in our home seems to relate to what is on the plate, small snacky things, lots of individual flavours, a full plateful of food can turn mum's stomach - but then when things normalise with her she will eat huge amounts of food off the plate. Remove the cup/plate and she can sometimes nod off and when she wakes thinks she hasn't drunk/eaten, can get an extra cup of tea down her and sometimes a second breakfast.

I don't know if any of the above is of any help, problem with dementia is that everyone is so totally different. Good Luck. It is a nightmare and you feel so helpless most of the time

[jan.s]

Hi Nanak
I am no expert, but it sounds like SF has a very high expectation of what mum can now eat and drink.
I do feel for you, knowing how you are unable to reason with him. My thoughts are with you.

Sending hugs
Jan x

[Beezed]

Hi Nanak,

My mother was exactly as you describe. Completely dependent and mute. She lost the ability to open her mouth for a spoon for a short period of time but managed to eat like a horse. We would use a syringe.

She started to open her mouth again recently before she died which made things easier.

On average she would have a pureed breakfast. (Not entirely sure what that was but think it was ensure). Lunch was usually a roast beef or chicken with 4 veg (Pureed and all eaten.) followed by a custard pudding. Later she would get another milky pudding and drinks offered throughout the day. They kept detailed records of her daily intake and to be honest, if I had eaten all that I would be fat as a fool.

Don't know if this is of any help but until she died she ate all that was offered.

Much love,

Jeanne x

[janicemlb]

Hi Nanak
Have just read your post and subsequent comments, I might have picked up the wrong end of the stick but is this about your stepfather not wanting to loose your mum? It's an awful situation and you have my full sympathy, seriously.
I guess in reply to the original question, way back in January mum got very dehydrated and stopped eating whilst in residential respite. I brought her back home and did some intensive rehydrating and feeding. Bearing in mind she's tiny (4 ft 10 and had dropped to 31kg - 4st 12), I was giving her around 1000mls a day, sometimes only managing 800mls, fluid included custard soup etc. This was enough to get her back to her "normal" and bladder and bowels working again.
Her appetite is dreadful and has been for a long time but she doesn't need that many calories as it's mostly bed and chair, but she will eat when she's hungry, she's not as advanced as your Mum, but if it's any help a typical day would be, breakfast - M&S scotch pancakes, butter, jam or honey, I'll usually get her to eat 2 of these over the course of the morning & there's always a plate of cut up cake on the go (thank you Mr Kipling & M&S). Endless cups of tea, with endless reminders to drink. Lunch could be at 2pm ish maybe 2 tiny sandwiches, (egg mayo, salmon,) or 1/8 of a pastie with peas 2 or 3 tsps, or maybe a potato cake with butter, the worst meal of the day is teatime, 6pm ish, could be tiny portion of shepherds pie, or macaroni cheese or omelette, etc. When I say tiny it's usually a couple of tsps, more with perseverance/spoon feeds. Lately I've not bothered with the savoury and she's managed apple pie custard or rice pud or trifle etc. again small portions. At bedtime I also give her ovaltine made up with complan (or a complan with a tiny baileys thrown in!) as I feel it's a big calorie boost so if she's had a really poor eating day she's getting something. I have to in my experience her appetite deteriorates as the day goes on, so I try to make hay while the sun shines and give her more as much as I can during the morning and then it tails off as the day goes on. I don't know whether it helps. Good Luck.
Also "Never Give Up" agree with everything you've said, the words "battle" and "nightmare" are never far from my mind!! (Love the Complan!)

[NeverGiveUp]

janicemlb.

The cupcakes are a good idea, the individually wrapped ones could be left around to be opened whenever, I think I will try that one. Mum likes to arrange things, if she was 90 odd years younger I would call it 'playing shops', if I got wrapped individual cakes she could rearrange them and they would still be edible, that will save money on the food bills!

Thanks for that tip, it is appreciated.