Why I'm still on Talking Point...

[Soobee]

I have had so much support from all of you but mainly from the people who have already posted in this thread. I have followed your experiences from what you've posted and they have helped me enormously. I am still being lifted and supported and I am very grateful for that.

I hope that you all feel able to visit TP and continue to post but I understand entirely when people drift away.

[TheBigYin]

Florence I ask myself the same question, only the other way round. I ask myself why I returned to a forum about Alzheimer's now that my lovely wife has passed away only this last February. Am I being morbid, I ask myself? I have a relatively recent photo of my Beryl on my computer as wallpaper and a picture in a frame in front of me. I have come to the conlusion that I am not going mad but still grieving, but not morbidly so.

I first came to this forum a couple of years ago but was put off by one person and have only came back here two days ago. The first thread I read was After Dementia-Dealing with loss and I feel at home now.

I am sitting now listening to local radio waiting for Colin Bunion comming on with his vintage vinal program and I'll wallow in the music from the 50's, 60's and 70's, our era and the music brings back many marvelous memories.

Florence keep coming back and giving us your thoughts, if you don't then I'll feel that I have no home and no reason to come back. We need people like yourself to remind us why we are still grieving.

[Grannie G]

I first came to this forum a couple of years ago but was put off by one person and have only came back here two days ago.
.

It is so sad to hear one person can put someone off when there are so many wonderful people on TP.

Welcome back BigYin. It`s so good to see you. x

[Deborah Blythe]

Just wanted to echo Grannie G's words, BigYin. Welcome back.

Annie you have a wonderful gift of reaching people's hearts with your words. Whatever your reason for staying, please STAY and thank you for all your tremendously supportive posts on TP! x

[TheBigYin]

Just wanted to echo Grannie G's words, BigYin. Welcome back.

Annie you have a wonderful gift of reaching people's hearts with your words. Whatever your reason for staying, please STAY and thank you for all your tremendously supportive posts on TP! x

Thank you Deborah and Grannie for your kind words. As you can see I joined this forum in 2009 when into the second year of my wife's diagnosis with Alzheimer's. Since I posted today I have found a few videos on my computer I'd made of my wife when she was Ill with this, what I call 'the robber of minds,' Alzheimer's.

The reason why I left last time was partly my own fault. You see I am a smoker and my Beryl was also. Then I was full of the smoking ban and one of the the things that I found out is that smoking was supposed to be something that holds back Alzheimer's and I couldn't understand why my wife had this disease and just thought I should mention it but someone took umbrage and that was the reason I left. Now that my beloved Beryl has left us I now thought I could have no solace but have found it here in this forum thanks to you good people.

Long may you give succor to us recently bereaved who are in pain.

John H Baker

[Saffie]

I think that the people who perhaps have no longer a need to come to TP are the very ones the rest of us do need here. You have the experience to advise us and the sensitivity and compassion to support us. Please don't go, we need you! X

[piedwarbler]

Welcome back BigYin, I am sorry you were put off last time you came to TP and hope you will not be this time. We are all here to listen and to share. Look after yourself.

[mike antony]

eerie

i was just thiniking something similar i only discoverd this site after my mum went into care home i wished had paid attention and logged in years ago but it is carthartic to know waas not all alone and others are experiencing the same as i did a lot of the emotions and feelings had blocked off had to be strong but now dont need to be . and also i realise no matter how bad things are now being made homeless by local authority at least my mum is in a safe place and all the years of worrying are slowly winding down actaully still constantly worry but not every minute and the advice peopel give is still perteninet

[florence43]

Well, it's lovely to come to my thread and seeing how it helps. I thought I was just making sense of my own feelings and, as usual, writing it down and throwing it out there... As I do!

Dear John, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry I didn't know you when your Beryl was poorly. I think we would have had a lot in common. I'm glad you came here, because, like so many, we now have other things in common.

Making sense of loss is such a tangled mess and, sometimes, a person can say one word or one line and it can stay with you for a long time. Sometimes it can unlock your pain, and you wonder what would have happened had you not stumbled across it.

TP and its many varied, wonderful members enrich each others lives every day, and together we can keep each other safe, be understood and listened to. In this section, especially.

Much love to all, xxx

[Heather777]

Annie, what a great thread to start-after years of caring for my parents, fighting the disease, fighting the system and trying to understand the emotions that you have left over is tough. I feel like I am in a void. It is like when you are moving house you have done the bulk of items but there is always a bit extra you should be doing but there seems no real purpose in these.

I have dealt with a lot of stuff over the last seven years and I thought I knew what I would be able to achieve when it was over. I am a great believer in black and white until I hit a puddle and it is very grey. Popping into TP reminds me of the journey I have been on and makes me connect with reality it is only 3 months since my dad passed away although I can't really feel like that it feels like forever. When something reminds me of my loss I wonder why I feel so vague then comfort myself with the fact it is ONLY 3 months and ONLY 3 years since my mum died.

My family are in a state of flux dealing with these 'final' bits and I need to think about ashes and stuff.

Thank goodness for TP I say-kept me relatively sane whilst I was living in the mess of dementia and keeps me focussed in the aftermath!

It is no joke when I say the messages and users of TP have been a lifeline for me.
Heather

[florence43]

Heather,

Thinking of you today, on Fathers' Day, xxx

[piedwarbler]

And thinking of you too, Annie. I know this will be a day with lots of memories for you. I hope that you know that we are all thinking of you.

Hugs,

[muriel.elliott]

Hi Annie and all of you.
I must admit this is the first time i have been here. I am sitting alone with a final glass of wine before i go to bed feeling very sorry for myself and thought i would just see what this section is all about. I am so moved by all the lovely words of comfort and caring and will certainly come back here as well as the main T.P.
I to sometimes think "why am i still here now that Bryan has passed away, "but it does really help to be able to let off steam and say whatever you feel. When i tell my family and friends i have been on T.P they do not seem surprised. They probably think it must help me.
The feeling of loosing Bryan and living life without him seems to be getting .worse as time passes instead of easier. Does anyone else feel this way too i wonder? I keep myself really busy all the time and always try to have something to look forward to tomorrow.
When Bryan was here and yet not! I used to think and even say - for goodness sake shut up and go to sleep. would give anything now to have him here - even the way he was. Just to be able to see his face and feel him close to me. Life is so unfair.
Must go to bed now and at least try to sleep i suppose. I used to dream most nights about him but now i hardly ever do. I wonder why!
Love and hugs Muriel xx