My Mum & Dad-Getting there

[cassie&rosie]

Hi All
Again i havent been around for a while to look at the threads on the Forum. I worked out this evening that OH and i spend about 37.5hrs with my parents. And we both work full time. Anyway, thats not what im writing about.
After the most unbelievable nightmarish year last year im pleased to say that things have finally settled down. M&D both went into "care" a year ago and both, Mum in particular, suffered terribly. Mum has advanced Alz and Dad has Parkinsons (Dad has capacity though Mum doesnt). Mum was shouted at, kept in her room, dropped out of the hoist, had her leg broken-(yes broken), starved-she lost 3st in 2months, frequently had severe bruising, etc etc. Dad was assulted-hit in the face, pushed over, treated like less than a human being. Anyway, this plus alot more happened over the course of 6months and in 3 different care homes. I moved my parents back to their home after persuading my Dad that living in a home was not going to work-their house was on the property market and had sold to pay care home fees. I had a hell of a job getting them out of the home when they applied for DoLs authorization from the LA the day before they were due to leave-after a Best interests meeting which went on all day I won and they were able to leave.
Yet another disaster unfolded with the home care workers and my Dad decided he wanted to go ahead with the house sale. I found a bungalow in the village i live in and they moved to be with me 6months ago, just before Christmas. I lived a 50mile round trip from house to house-which i did daily. All the time in the background we had my brother who was trying to stop my parents house sale and was saying awful things to the CoP (I applied for a Deputyship order for Mum) about me-thats another story! My father did not want him to have any part of their finances as he never visited them or helped in any way and had swindled them out of tens of thousands of £ throughout the years.
We now have lovely carers (most of them anyway) and things are working well. I asked for another assessment for CHC for Mum and her care is now funded fully!!-she was paying around £4000per month for staff from a private nursing agency (2 at each visit). This was the 4th assessment she had had so it wasnt easy to get-she was turned down 3 times.
Dad goes to a day centre for lunch twice a week and we are decorating throughout-hes chosen a new kitchen, bathroom, colours, etc. Physically Mum is still quite frail-she has never regained the weight she lost though she is more alert now-they have a small garden and she can see horses in the field at the bottom. Im setting up the bungalow to be "Dementia friendly". Dad is now in a wheelchair due to the Parkinsons and is unable to even make a cup of tea let alone do much else.

Although we never get a day off i finally have piece of mind and am making the best of the most heartbreaking situation

Sorry if ive waffled on for too long, I could go on for hours!

Lynn

[2jays]

!! What a horrible time your parents and you both have had. Well done you for doing all you have done, and continue to do, for your parents. I must admit that I felt so impressed with the way you have dealt with the whole awful situation.

In all this chaos I do hope you manage to keep some time for yourself, even if it is only to sit down and watch the horses with your mum.

Thinking of you with utmost respect

[Christin]

Hello Lynn, I am pleased to read that things are settling down for your parents.

Take care of yourself too!

[cassie&rosie]

Hi 2jays and Christin
Thank you for your replies, it means a lot to me.
Just got to get over the guilt trip now

Lynn

[Billie61]

Your parents are so lucky to have someone like you fighting for them.