I have not posted in a few weeks due to having no time. Dad continues to deteriorate and I am having problems getting people to realise this. Dad lives in Extra Care Sheltered Housing and the Warden seems to think his problems are "isolated incidences" but as she only works Monday to Friday and 8 til 4 she doesnt see a lot.
Lately dad is phoning me all the time, sometimes at weird hours, latest was 2am when I was asleep in bed, he complained I didnt answer the phone straight away! When I asked what was wrong he said I am waiting for the thing, but after 20 minutes I still had no idea what this thing was, and suggested he waited in bed. He phoned the night before saying they had not turned up to take him roller skating, which seeing as he cant even walk without a stick and falls all the time, would be an achievement to say the least.
I contacted social services last week and told them straight I am reaching breaking point being an only child, working full time, having health problems of my own and I needed more help. I had been approached by 2 residents in dads housing scheme saying they were worried about him, he is apparently roaming the corridors and common rooms at night looking for his wife, who died 7 years ago. He will not change his clothes for anybody but me, I have employed a PA one day a week, he has a cleaner another day, I go at least 5 times a week, he has carers go in morning and night for medication.
Went last week and found he had spilled about 10 packets of Laxido all over his kitchen, and he informed me he takes 6 a day, which is wrong as it is 1 a day and 2 if he has a problem. Up to recently dad was self administering these himself, all other meds are locked in a safe. I contacted his doctor and was told they would prescribe another lot and that had a label on it, and to lock them up and carers would dispense them. Sorted it all out with carers, but then found the box would not fit into the safe, so cut out the label and put it with the Laxido. Then carers left me a message on my answer phone, despite having my mobile number to say there were no GP instructions therefore they could not dispense them. As the pharmacist was closed at this time, I have had to go every day to give dad these meds, as he got constipated by not having them. Seems carers had put dad down to have these as and when required and not followed the instructions, think they might have got rid of the label so they didnt look bad. Dad got very constipated because of this. It is not the first time they have not followed instructions and regularly do not follow his care plan. ave now ordered a larger lock up medication box, and been to chemist and got a new label, put all Laxido into a plastic resealable bag with the label stuck on the front, and informed carers that they are to start giving them again, and got quite a frosty reaction, saying we cannot give without the label, which is there!!!!
So many things have happened in last few weeks that I have demanded an emergency review which will take place on Wednesday this week. I am going to ask for an extra care visit to make sure dad is having his lunch, as they make him a sandwich each morning and leave it for him, and when I get there after work, it is usually still there, with him saying he has eaten it! Dad is losing weight so this is not good.
I am also going to lay it on the line that I do not feel dad is coping, he is staring into space, not watching his tv, reading the same book over and over saying he has not read it. His short term memory has been shot for ages, but now his long term memory is also on the way out. He keeps losing things, I have had to minimise stuff in his flat to help him cope. He cannot seem to understand dates any more, though they are written on his white board daily to prompt him to the date. Time is also a problem, he cant understand simple things with time eg the hour is ok but when it is quarter to etc he cant cope. He has his tv page on the wrong days, he thinks if he has an appointment that it is every day, not in a few weeks.
Dad has had an eye test and they say his optic nerve is damaged, so now we are waiting for a hospital appointment to see what they say. I wonder if his TIAs and stroke or medication might be something to do with this?
It still feels like I am plaiting fog, and I am about to go on holiday and am worried sick about dad, so have asked his PA to do another 10 hours that week. All these costs mount up but what else can we do?
Right rant over, bed time thanks for listening.