I really must be THICK in the head for saying this

[worriedson1]

I cannot beleive i said this to my mum,i really cant.

I actually raised the possiblty about me going to paris for a break(my fave city used to go there regularly from 2004 to 2007) and my mum said to me"If you have the money you can go anywhere, life goes on" and i said about someone could come in to keep her company etc etc and my mum being her usual independant self said" No, i can do things myself i'm looking after myslef good).

I cant beleive actually said that, i made a vow not to go bac as i'm looking after mym and my mum is of course my number 1 priorty.

I must be really selfish to even say that to my mum.

[ggma]

I do not think you are selfish, you are giving up a lot, and its human to dream and remember good things, especially when life is difficult.

It would be good if you could have a break, even if it was not so far away, we all need to have something to look forward to.

Look after yourself, and don't feel bad about your comment.

[worriedson1]

I do not think you are selfish, you are giving up a lot, and its human to dream and remember good things, especially when life is difficult.

It would be good if you could have a break, even if it was not so far away, we all need to have something to look forward to.

Look after yourself, and don't feel bad about your comment.

Thanks, just cant believe i said it, i do miss paris very much, only natural to feel that way imo about a place you like to go on holidays. i do think i was tactless and thoughtless to say the least,what if my mum thinks she is keeping me from travelling what if, what if...argh.

[worriedson1]

I do not think you are selfish, you are giving up a lot, and its human to dream and remember good things, especially when life is difficult.

It would be good if you could have a break, even if it was not so far away, we all need to have something to look forward to.

Look after yourself, and don't feel bad about your comment.

This is a part on Alzhemiers Scotland(who are FANTASTIC with us, so great how they deal with mum and i) about holidays, i have mixed feelings looking even at this argh!!

http://www.alzscot.org/pages/info/tr...s-holidays.htm

"Care for the person with dementia while the carer goes away

If you decide to go on holiday without the person you care for, you will probably have to make arrangements for care while you are away. There are several ways of organising this.
Care at home

You may be able to put together a package of care at home with extra time or visits from home helps, care attendant schemes such as Crossroads (contact details at the end of this information sheet) and the health visitor or district nurse. Ask the social work department about this. Friends and neighbours may also be able to help. Often the simplest is to ask a friend, relative or neighbour to look after the person. They may move in or just undertake to call in as often as necessary and perhaps see to things like meals or shopping.

If no friend, relative or neighbour is available, you may be able to pay someone; perhaps someone with experience as a care attendant or a nurse. You can ask around to see if anyone can recommend someone suitable. Members of your local Alzheimer Scotland or Age Concern and Help the Aged in Scotland branch may know someone.

Another alternative is to advertise locally. If you do this, it is very important to interview the applicants and to take up references. A nursing agency will be able to provide people who should be experienced; but this can be an expensive option. Again, it is important to take up references.

If you are employing someone to care for the person with dementia, you should make the arrangements in advance so that they can get to know each other before you go. You should put in writing what is expected and how much you have agreed to pay. Make sure you leave them written information on what they need to know about the house and appliances, the local shops and the person with dementia's normal routines. "

[chris53]

The information on holidays you have posted sounds so supportive, can social services provide a little holiday for your mum? you are not selfish in wishing to have a break, even for a few days, we all care what seems 24/7 if not with mum then thinking or worrying about them, if you feel you would enjoy a break(even for a long weekend) without having to worry then please try to manage it, your mum even in her confused state loves you and seems to want you to have a break.

best wishes