worried about FIL

[jan1962]

Hi everyone, worried about my FIL, called to check that my MIL ok, noticed that my FIL had some scratches and bruising on his arm. I asked him what had happend and he told me that my MIL had gone for him, i ask him to explain, he said that he was going to give her her medication and she became agitated with him and gone to bite him, as she had no teeth him he pulled his arm out of way only for her to grab at him and sank her nails into him. i have noticed in the past my MIL can be quite aggressive towards my FIL going for his face or trying to hit him with her walking stick. he has made a comment that one of these days she will clobber him across the head with her stick so he has to be very aware of where she is at all times. while there my fil asked me to make an appt with her gp to see if they will increase her diazapam to 3x daily as her moods are becoming more frequent and he is finding it harder to cope with her.. at night she takes 20mg of tamazepam but this does not help her sleep so my FIL is not getting any rest. she is now incontinent x2 and has no consept of using the toilet at all so my FIL has to see to her needs. have tried to persuaid him to have some help come in but he keeps saying no..


what am i to do!!!
thanx jan1962

[ggma]

One of the most difficult things is to know that someone would benefit from some help, but they will not accept it.

Do you know why your FIL will not accept some care support, does he know himself why he will not have help. It is very difficult to know what to do, without help the day it will all breakdown will come sooner. Any chance he would listen if you could persude GP or nurse to recommend to him that your MIL needs the extra help?

Sorry do not have an answer for you - just to say I understand how difficult it is for you and hope that you can get FIL to accept some support soon.