Some Advice needed please

[MKT]

Hi
We have been worried about my mums behaviour for some time, in fact for almost a year, maybe a bit longer. She has been forgetting things, names of everyday objects, things that have happened within the last few days, how to use television controls, she also loses the thread of conversations and as a result believes people are not talking to her. When in a family group she doesn't tend to join in with conversations and just in general seems to be in a world of her own, she repeats things over and over again in a short space of time, but seems happiest recalling things that happened many years ago.
These things have been getting worse over the past year, and have been noticed by all the family even those that only speak to her via telephone.
Ourselves and other family have been pushing her to speak with the doctor over many months and she would always keep coming up with excuses as why she couldn't go, at a suggestion that one of us could go along with her she became very angry, so we telephoned the doctor to make it known that we wished him to check for signs of Alzheimer's. Finally she made it along to the dr's last week, she tells us that she told him of her memory problems, he said not to worry just take her time thinking of things through. He ordered many blood tests, and she was told to return to see the practice nurse for results. She tells us that the nurse has told her all blood tests were normal and there is nothing at all to worry about, she's the picture of health!
Where do we go from here, she's clearly not coping well with things in general, we haven't a hope of getting her to return to the dr's for another chat, and because of 'confidentiality' the dr won't talk to us directly about her.
Sorry its such a long message but we really don't know where to go from here, of course we don't know for sure what she told the dr at the appointment. Any advice would be very welcome.

[babyson]

Hi
We have been worried about my mums behaviour for some time, in fact for almost a year, maybe a bit longer. She has been forgetting things, names of everyday objects, things that have happened within the last few days, how to use television controls, she also loses the thread of conversations and as a result believes people are not talking to her. When in a family group she doesn't tend to join in with conversations and just in general seems to be in a world of her own, she repeats things over and over again in a short space of time, but seems happiest recalling things that happened many years ago.
These things have been getting worse over the past year, and have been noticed by all the family even those that only speak to her via telephone.
Ourselves and other family have been pushing her to speak with the doctor over many months and she would always keep coming up with excuses as why she couldn't go, at a suggestion that one of us could go along with her she became very angry, so we telephoned the doctor to make it known that we wished him to check for signs of Alzheimer's. Finally she made it along to the dr's last week, she tells us that she told him of her memory problems, he said not to worry just take her time thinking of things through. He ordered many blood tests, and she was told to return to see the practice nurse for results. She tells us that the nurse has told her all blood tests were normal and there is nothing at all to worry about, she's the picture of health!
Where do we go from here, she's clearly not coping well with things in general, we haven't a hope of getting her to return to the dr's for another chat, and because of 'confidentiality' the dr won't talk to us directly about her.
Sorry its such a long message but we really don't know where to go from here, of course we don't know for sure what she told the dr at the appointment. Any advice would be very welcome.

"my mum is the same she is 87 and I finally went into the doctor he said the memory clinic will be in touch went today see different doctor and he does not know what i was on about and trying to talk while my mum was there was murder she keeps saying im fine I know as she forgets what i tell it within a minute and gets very confused seen it in my gran when she had it at my wits end to

[BlueJellybean]

My Mum and I were worried about my dad, this time a year ago. He was doing the same kind of things that you mention. Because my Dad would not go to the doctors to get checked out, this is very common, my mum spoke to the GP, who then wrote to my dad asking him to come in for a MOT. The doctor was well aware of our fears. My dad went, because the doctor had asked him to come in. This may be away forward for you.

A year later, my Dad has had MRI scans, Memory tests and is now on Medication to slow the Dementia down.

I wish you luck, and be strong

[MKT]

Thank you for your replies. It really is helpful to hear how other people are coping in similar situations and what needs to be done at each step.
Just thought I would give an update to what's been happening since my first post. We did try to phone and speak with mums Dr, but didn't get very far, the receptionist was very helpful though and advised us to try get a letter signed by mum giving us authority to obtain information from Doctor about mums health.
However in the meantime mum mentioned in passing she had received an appointment from the eye clinic, ( she had cataracts removed last year) and she presumed it was for a check up. When we asked to see the letter its actually says its for a head scan, cat scan dept, lots of info in the letter about what happens at the appointment, but she's obviously not looked at it or not taken in what it says at all.
We are pleased that the Dr has obviously seen something in her at the appointment to refer her for the scan. At least things seem to be moving along to a diagnosis of some sort.

[Conina]

We contacted the doctor and nurses months ago, every time we do she is given urine tests and ECG's and told she is fine. The nurse and a doctor have both said she will be referred and last visit to the doctor there was no record in her notes! The doctor at that visit said she would see to it and that was weeks ago! She has had a CT scan and that was all clear! Her husband is also in denial and keeps saying she is getting better but she's not! Not sure what to do next! Any help or advice would be great!

[jje]

Conina - the best thing for you to do would be to ask your mum's GP if she can be referred to a specialist. Not all forms of dementia can be detected easily on a CT scan so just because it shows no obvious deterioration doesn't mean there isn't something going on. The clinical psychologist or geriatric psychiatrist/ neuropsychologist would be able to tell you more.

It is a pain but if you can ring the GP daily they will get fed up and will refer you (if only for some peace).

Be persistent and good luck!

[MKT]

We are now in the same situation as Conina, results of the scan show everything is normal for her age (which is 76), next step is to make an appointment with the Dr to see what to do from here. There is so clearly something wrong, and its not getting any better, she does have better days, but conversations are increasingly hard, and there have been times in her small flat that she has left thing cooking and forgotten about them.
Jje thank you for the reply, it is good to know that when we speak with the Dr what to expect should be the normal route of things, or what we should ask for to happen.

[nmintueo]

Hope you manage to get a diagnosis eventually.

Taking a couple of the subsidiary points:

... she has left things cooking and forgotten about them. ...

I've no experience of this, but obviously it's a serious safety issue that needs to be addressed one way or another, regardless of medical diagnosis. This recent discussion may be of interest:

Device fitted to cooker that shuts power off?
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showt...huts-power-off

Meanwhile, at least make sure there's a smoke alarm in place.

..., how to use television controls, ...

You might find a simplified remote control helpful. See:
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showt...l=1#post593401

[nicoise]

Dear Mkt,

Whilst obviously there is an issue of confidentiality between the doctor and his patient, you could make a list of the issues you have noticed with your Mum, and send it to him prior to his appointment with her.

He may or may not respond to you, but he would at least then know of the problems you are noticing.

It sounds as though the scan did not show up anything sinister (such as a tumour), nor atrophy or obvious changes in the brain tissue that might explain the problems. Which will help rule out certain causes of the changes. But not all dementias show as physical changes, or not in the earlier stages. Have a read of the factsheets here to see if there are any similarities that you notice.

But meanwhile, continue to keep a list, or a diary as "odd" behaviours happen. There might be certain times of the day when they present themselves, or links that you notice. Good luck x

[MKT]

Thank you for your reply Nicoise. We will definitely look into the items you mention. We did look at the factsheets when we originally started to have concerns, and we certainly identified things in mums behaviour that were noted as signs of dementia on the website. Mum has signed a letter which is with the Dr, which means he is able to discuss her notes with me , and I will make an appointment to discuss the next steps to take as soon as the Dr is back from his leave.
In the meantime, we already have a mental note of 'odd' behaviour but I do agree it might be helpful to keep a diary note of things, to try and identify if there is a pattern.
Thanks again to everyone that has replied to my original post, it really is very helpful to hear from people who have been through the diagnosis stages, and have some idea of what should happen next, or what we should ask for.

[poplco]

We went through these problems when looking for a diagnosis for my father. Fortunately the doctor asked my father to bring me with him to an appointment. (We had put our concerns in writing to the doctor prior to this) Because the doctor had requested it my father agreed to go. The doctor did the memory test and set up some other tests. He then told my father that to avoid problems in the future he should go to a solicitor and as well as making a will should set up what was then Enduring Power of attorney.
This advice has been invaluable. My father as many of his generation is respectful of authority and so did as the doctor said. We have for various reasons been so thankful that the doctor gave this advice as without the power of attorney organising my fathers paperwork ( even contacting tv companies to cancel when he had to into hospital)would have been almost impossible. Companies will not talk to you or do anything unless they see copies of the power of attorney.

Thank you for your reply Nicoise. We will definitely look into the items you mention. We did look at the factsheets when we originally started to have concerns, and we certainly identified things in mums behaviour that were noted as signs of dementia on the website. Mum has signed a letter which is with the Dr, which means he is able to discuss her notes with me , and I will make an appointment to discuss the next steps to take as soon as the Dr is back from his leave.
In the meantime, we already have a mental note of 'odd' behaviour but I do agree it might be helpful to keep a diary note of things, to try and identify if there is a pattern.
Thanks again to everyone that has replied to my original post, it really is very helpful to hear from people who have been through the diagnosis stages, and have some idea of what should happen next, or what we should ask for.